Recently, a boy in Nanchong, Sichuan Province, was led by his father to do farm work because he did not complete his homework well many times, one of which was to carry manure.
Carrying feces on a hot summer day can be imagined.
In the end, the little boy was directly tired and crying.
Finally, Dad asked, "Is it hard to study or to bear the dung?" ”
The boy cried and said, "I have toiled hard and want to read." ”
In fact, there are more and more stories like this kind of children who do not love to learn and are brought by their parents to experience life.
Because many children's lives are too good now.
They don't have to worry about food and clothing, and they don't need their help at home, so naturally they don't understand the difficulty of life.
For many children, learning is the hardest thing.
To this end, many parents will let their children change their attitude towards learning through hard-working education.
Unfortunately, the truth is that not all hardship education can be successful.
In the early hours of June 1, a 13-year-old boy sits alone in front of the subway gate of Shanghai's Line 1 playing with his mobile phone.
When the well-wisher saw it, he called the police.
After the police arrived, they immediately went forward to inquire about the boy's situation, and it turned out that the reason why the boy was sitting alone outside playing with his mobile phone and not going home was because he ran away from home.
Because he did not want to go to school, he was sent from Suzhou to his aunt's house in Shanghai to experience the working life, and as a result, the boy could not stand the strict discipline of his aunt, so he took advantage of his aunt's lack of preparation in the middle of the night and directly ran away from home.
Originally, parents wanted to let their children experience that life is not easy, so that they can go home and study seriously, but the result is not only that they have not achieved the purpose of education, but also let the children have a rebellious psychology and almost lose it.
It's a little scary.
In fact, it is true that parents want their children to suffer a little bit of life, but if parents control the intensity of education that is not good at eating and suffering, then it is easy to have the opposite effect.
The famous American educational psychologist Bruum used his experiment to tell people that encouragement is a positive feedback that can effectively promote learning; while corporal punishment and psychological violence as negative feedback, accumulated to a certain extent will undergo qualitative changes, resulting in subsequent learning can not be carried out.
We can see that successful "hardship education" is useful, while those who have failed too much "hardship education" are ineffective.
So what should parents do about "hard-working education"?
1
We must first understand what is "hardship education"?
| simple literal meaning
In a narrow sense, hardship education is to let children understand the difficulty of labor activities or things in our daily lives through certain behaviors, and then let children prepare psychologically in advance.
This kind of "hardship education" is more to enhance children's external feelings, rather than allowing children to live in the environment of "hardship education" for a long time.
| extended deep meaning
To understand "hardship education" from a deeper meaning is to let children experience social practice, to feel the cold and warm of the world, and the harsh living environment can effectively exercise a person's will, and can also motivate him to continue to make progress.
The ancient adage of "born of sorrow" is still used in today's times, and only by letting children temper themselves in suffering can they better survive and live.
| parents need to know that "suffering" is not an end, but a means.
Wang Xiaobo gave such a negative example in "The Silent Majority", when he was in yunnan, in order to cooperate with some form of reminiscence at that time.
Originally should have eaten the banana tree heart, taro flowers, pumpkin flowers, these things are actually not so difficult to eat, but in order to reflect the bitterness of the memory of the bitter rice, the result is to cook the banana tree, taro stalks, pumpkin vines, the result of eating everyone secretly vomit, in the middle of the night in front of the toilet door in a long line.
Wang Xiaobo said at the end of the article, "I don't think this is being educated, I just think it's tossing people."
In modern family education, it is this kind of meaningless suffering that needs to be vigilant.
There is a saying in the American drama "House of Cards": Pain is divided into two kinds, one is to make you stronger, and the other is worthless, just adding to the torture.
"Hardship education" is the same reason, a good "hardship education" can let children in the process of hardship to hone their minds, enhance perseverance, let them become stronger, and some "hardship education", such as Wang Xiaobo's memory of bitter rice, in addition to to tossing people, has no meaning.
Therefore, modern education must bear hardships scientifically, and only meaningful "suffering" can be called "education".
Some pain is something that children must experience in the process of growing up, such as the preparation of the college entrance examination day and night, and some pain is dispensable, as a parent should not force the child to experience.
2
Why should children receive "hardship education"?
| let children hone their will and ability in "suffering"
Many children now can't withstand difficulties and tests, a little bit of setbacks and difficulties can't bear it, when doing things, this is not good, it can't be done, and finally become a mother treasure man, nibbling on the old family.
And from an early age to cultivate the child's willingness to endure hardships, then he has a certain ability to resist pressure in later growth and life, and when encountering difficulties and setbacks, the child can take the initiative to face and solve them.
| let your child learn to be frugal
Nowadays, many children like to compare, especially the comparison of famous brands, the use of food and drink, and the comparison of all kinds.
Of course, if the family conditions permit, they can give their children a good life, but what about those who have a poor living environment? At this time, regardless of the family conditions, parents should educate their children frugally.
Let children understand the difficulty of earning money and the difficulty of life in hardship, and children are naturally willing to be frugal and thrifty, control their desires, and self-discipline in material matters.
| let children understand their parents and understand the difficulties of life
Many parents let their children receive "hardship education", and many of the reasons for this are to let their children understand themselves.
Many children live a well-regarded life, wake up with clothes on the pillow, sit on the table when eating, the rice and chopsticks are already on the table, he only needs to open his mouth to eat.
However, some children living in this environment are still not satisfied, dissatisfied, but also require parents to give more, and let children eat some of the hardships of life, let him know that life is not easy, and then let children understand the difficulties of parents, know how to be grateful.
3
What should parents do about "hardship education"?
| experience the sufferings of life for yourself
Parents can take their children to experience various things in life, such as taking their children to participate in volunteer activities, so that he can feel the hardships of sanitation workers working in the hot summer, let him feel the sweltering heat of factory workers in the workshop, so that he can feel how difficult his daily work is.
Just like when a father on the Internet recently taught himself that he did not want to study, he took the child to the back kitchen of his daily work, let the child hold a pen in one hand, a pot in the other, ask him whether the pen is heavy or the pot is heavy, and ask him whether it is easy to learn or work.
In this process, parents should pay attention not to "overdo it", according to the child's age, personality and other characteristics, to create an experience experience for the child, because only after personal experience will you know that it is not easy.
| tell the stories of others and infect children with their hearts
When the child is very young, the mind is not mature, let the child go out to feel, the parents are very uneasy.
Then, parents can tell their children the stories of others, through books, mobile phones and television, to take their children to understand the difficulties of all walks of life in the world, so that children can receive "hardship education" from the mind, and can understand the parents' hard hearts.
| experience together, you can't force it
People say that the behavior of parents will deeply affect the behavior of children, and the power of example is immeasurable.
Parents should go with their children to "eat hardships" and experience with their children, rather than children experiencing the wind and sun there, while parents rest and drink tea indoors, this behavior is absolutely impossible in "hardship education".
Only by personally feeling together can we truly let children understand the true intention of suffering.
| cultivate the virtue of saving in children
For "hardship education", suffering is not to suffer poverty, not to be poor in the degree of eating and wearing, but it is definitely not to let children wear gold and silver to form a comparison psychology.
Parents can lead by example, saving food and conserving natural resources in their daily lives, thus influencing their children to learn the virtues of frugality.
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