Li Yue'er | how to let children have self, have opinions, love to learn, love life

1: Have a self

If you want your child to have such a trait, you can't just buy ready-made toys for your child, a mother wants to let your child have an opinion, then a person with an opinion means that when he needs it, he will have ideas that are useful to himself.

We found that the local people taught by Chinese education really lack this trait.

For example, people engage in Montessori and find this very fashionable, one is the name of a foreigner, and the other is much more advanced than our Chinese exam-taking education.

It turns mathematical logic and the essence of cultural knowledge into toys to help children develop and unfold that innate spiritual plan.

Many people find this very trendy, others are in the classroom montessori teaching aids, they also quickly put a set, thinking that this will have a sense of security, will not be eliminated, will not be outdated.

But what would a person with his own ideas do?

He would first look at what the essence of Montessori education was, and he would go deeper into its principles, and under understanding, he would find that Montessori's principle was that children were not miniature adults.

They were born with a flesh just formed, and this incompetent little man still had something in his body that we could not see, and this thing was like the seed that had not yet begun to form in the human body, and there was a plan in the seed that the flesh of that seed could grow into a human being, without growing into a cat and a dog.

After the birth of the child, this plan in the body will cause the spirit in the human body to gradually form into a spirit of its own, which is a proprietary and unique thing called the "self".

Since this is the case, it is not necessary for Montessori teaching aids to realize Montessori principles.

Looking at our children, they are completely different from the Japanese children, the American children, and the Italian children, and the future society is even more different.

Is it appropriate to apply the education of Italy a hundred years ago to our modern children?

You see, a person who can think in this way is a person who has his own opinion. Opinion is what helps us live better.

Therefore, we must give children toys that can develop their own opinions, as long as they are not toys that have been made by others. Give children semi-finished products, and tool-style toys, such as: real pots and pans, large building blocks, shells picked up in nature, wooden segments... These things are open-ended, and the child must play with his own opinions.

Speaking of "self", this is the basis for a person to live and feel good, this thing called self, has its own position, has its own point of view, has its own beliefs, has its own way of acting, has its own hobbies, has its own feelings and emotions, all of which are the content of a person's spirit.

It's not enough to have these, you have to be different from others, otherwise this person will often feel redundant.

All this is not completely in the stomach, it must be innately added to the acquired environment, and then added to the purposeful help of adults to have.

If you want your child to have your own opinions, you have to help your child grow up to be independent. What kind of toys can make children grow into independent selves?

Montessori toys, children must play independently, semi-independent thinking, because toys have limited children to several possibilities of thinking, this kind of toy is called non-open toys.

This is absolutely necessary for children who are only with nature and lack knowledge to enlighten children in the mountains. For parents who only want to cultivate their children to work and study knowledge, such toys are much better than adults who give their children knowledge.

Toys like Montessori can help your child grow up to be self-sufficient, and a person with an ego must have his own opinion.

But for these children like Ba Gakuen, in their family cultural background and educational background, they lack the characteristics of using the mind to live and deal with problems, lack of sensitivity, relatively unpopular emotions, lack of artistic nourishment in life, lack of humanistic connotation, if we hope that the education of our children can make up for these deficiencies, then Montessori teaching aids are obviously not enough.

2: Love life

What kind of person can love life? That's the mental health person, who has faith in his parents and firmly believes that his parents love him, and that confidence is not something that can be built up casually. Don't think that if you don't let your child suffer a little, take good care of everything, and your child will love you and love life.

We concluded that the more carefully you take care of your child, the more you worry about your child being hurt, and the more you want to give the best thing in the world to your child, the more likely your child is that he will not love you, will not love all people, and it will be easy to feel wronged, and it is easy to think that he has encountered more misfortune than others.

Children need to practice taking responsibility for their families from an early age. Responsible is that parents can let their children complete some things: such as taking vegetables to the basket when buying vegetables, putting dishes for the family, washing dishes, etc., that is, doing some things that children can do.

This kind of thing is much more beneficial to children than playing with toys, one is that children can also be rich in sensory stimulation, and the other is that the function of doing these things is the same as playing with toys, and the child thinks that he is useful.

This is the first step in building a child's love of life.

The second step is, the parents' own attitude to life, is it love or no feeling? If parents love life, children will love life too. Moreover, in addition to the subtle influence, it is important for parents to take the initiative to share their lives with their children.

3: Love to learn

Raising a child into a person who loves to learn is what every parent likes.

We believe that children can only live a good life in the future if they study well, which is our Chinese tradition. In the world, everyone likes to learn well, but the difference is that in some countries they are very afraid that their children will become people who can only read, and they want to make their children develop in an all-round way.

How can children love to learn?

3. Let children have working materials that can be explored from an early age, that is, semi-finished toys;

Don't bother the child when he is working (playing); when the child needs help, he will help the child to solve the problem just right, but don't finish the difficult thing for them;

Don't praise and punish children casually: When children first enter school, don't laugh at them and punish them for the mistakes they made.

Give them the right challenge, but don't be too difficult. If the task is arduous, it will make the child afraid to do such a thing again, and will hate learning because of it.

4: Become a person with the ability to live independently

Let's talk about how a child can become an independent person: a child must have the habit of being alone from an early age.

For the child, leaving the mother is a very scary thing, but if the mother does not give the child the opportunity to find that "leaving the mother herself will be no problem", but also with the mother when the child sleeps, the mother has not left at any time, so that not only the child is sad to leave the mother, the mother is also very sad to leave the child.

The child will cry when she is sad, and the mother will find an excuse to keep the child around when she is sad.

There are many old people who do not establish their own spiritual life, and when their grandchildren come, they make them tired and full with their children, and they hold their children in their arms in order not to make effort and effort.

For children, this is not only unable to develop an independent spirit, but also feels fear when they leave other people's bodies.

Children are held like this until they are two years old, and they are basically held as "artificial autism".

The child leaves the adult's body to sleep, which is the time when the child is alone; to do things outside the scope of the adult's body breath, so that the child can explore and think undisturbed and fully engaged.

Even stay-at-home moms can take their children to reliable neighbors for a while and leave them to live a personal life.

As long as there is an opportunity, the child will definitely develop in the direction of independence, which is determined by the innate biological function of man.

But if adults do not give children the opportunity and require children to grow up to be an independent person, how can children achieve it?

In this way, children will feel inferior because they feel that they cannot be the one whose parents are satisfied.

People with low self-esteem will live a miserable life.

5: A healthy and happy person

Let the child face the difficulties, have the opportunity to do what he wants to do, do not deny the child's self, do not give the child a bad living environment. The harsh living environment does not refer to no money, but refers to the attitude of adults around them to difficulties when encountering difficulties and conflicts, and also refers to the attitude of adults to children, and also refers to the relationship between parents. If there is no problem in these aspects, the child will be healthy and happy