There is such a "miracle kindergarten" in Japan, where children are not required to do things together, do not force naps, do not order children, rules are set by the children themselves, even if they play the same game all day, the teachers will not interfere. In order for their children to go to school in such a happy kindergarten, parents would rather move than send their children back.
Also because working here is too happy, there are no teachers to resign, so the average age of kindergarten teachers is older, and the oldest teacher here, who has worked here for more than 60 years, is more than 90 years old.
She is the author of "Every Child Can Bloom Like a Flower" with a Douban score of 9.1 - Oikawa Shigeko.
Why is it so happy to work and go to school in miracle kindergartens? Here are 3 parenting concepts for you to reveal.
First, Montessori's educational methods and concepts for cultivating "self-reliant people" should give full play to the potential of children, and as parents, they should always be their support, but what children should do is not decided by parents without authorization, let alone excessive interference.
Second, Adler psychology, adults and children are equal, to learn to identify with and respect children.
Third, the "god of child-rearing" Murata Hotaro's ability triangle
1. Use Montessori's educational philosophy to cultivate children's "free survival ability".
Energetic children are fully enjoying the moment.
Montessori's educational philosophy is "follow the child". A well-prepared Montessori classroom allows children to work independently and derive pleasure from self-discovery. The teacher introduces the teaching aids, and the children are free to choose.
One of the educational theories of Miracle Kindergarten --- Montessori educational concept, what is the specific content?
Focus on children, create a child-centered , let them be their own "children's world" independently.
A few days ago we were in the cake shop, next to a family of three excitedly choosing the ingredients for the outing, the mother would ask the little girl, which one do you want, the girl was a little hesitant there, the little hand reached out just to point out, her father impatiently said to the mother: "You ask her what to do, does she know what to choose?" Hurry up and buy it and go, or it's too late. ”
In miracle kindergarten from the age of 1, let the child choose for himself, which starts from the simple two towels to choose, whether to choose milk or tea, how much to put in the sauce soup, etc., as far as possible to let the children make their own choices, saying that I want this, I want that.
Only through constant choice can children gradually learn to make their own decisions.
Provide sufficient toys and fully prepared teaching aids in the classroom (including natural, humanistic... ), to induce children to have fun in self-learning.
Miracle Kindergarten covers an area of more than 9,900 square meters, which is like a small mountain forest, with ponds, merlins, lanterns, statues of the Virgin Mary, etc., where children can walk and play freely.
"Untaught" education allows children to take the initiative to contact, research, and form wisdom, rather than teacher-centered cramming education.
Miracle Kindergarten children only need to do what they like.
In miracle kindergartens, even zero to one year old tables are still placed on the table, perhaps some parents will worry about whether their children will take the flowers out to play, whether they will push down and wet the tablecloth, etc., the answer is of course.
If the vase is poured and the water comes out, the teachers will clean up and tell the children, is it a little cool where it gets wet? In the process, the children learned what happens when the vase is poured, what it feels like to get things wet by the water, and the teacher has a hard time cleaning up the wet places they have, so naturally they stop touching the vase.
Like the sentence at the beginning of the first chapter, you can't think without experience, and without thinking, children won't grow.
Teachers are in the position of assisting and guiding, allowing children to become the main body of education, allowing them to use their own brains and fully tap their potential, and teachers assist and guide them in a timely manner.
Grasp the sensitive period of learning, zero to six-year-old children, each stage of growth has different characteristics, parents should have heard Terrible2, Horrible3 "(meaning bad two-year-old, terrible three-year-old) to grasp the sensitive period of children, give children appropriate guidance.
In miracle kindergarten, children of different ages can play freely, but the arrangement of each age group is slightly different, for example, 5-year-old children will have an hour a day to do the same thing together, why is it so arranged, because 5 years old is different from before, they have begun to know how to enjoy the fun of doing something together.
2, Adler psychology, hope that parents adhere to the principle of communication
Miracle Kindergarten's educational theory no. 2--- the basic concept of Adler, what is the content?
equal
Once, when Yuri lost one of her shoes, Sensei Okawa asked, "Who saw Sayuri's shoes?" ”
Xiao Da immediately replied, "I'll go and help find it." ”
Soon he came back with a shoe and said, "Found it!" ”
In fact, this shoe was hidden by Xiaoda, and the teachers knew it, but it was not revealed.
In the case of knowing that the child is lying, do not reprimand, or even chase after it, leave room for the child and leave a way out. If an adult has a small fault, don't you want to be punctured?
Don't treat children like children, treat them like adults!
Recognize the child
Children whose parents deny their abilities will find it difficult to like that thing again.
In the second chapter, Teacher Oikawa Talks about her childhood, her mother evaluates her as a "painting idiot", after hearing her mother's evaluation, she firmly believes that she is really not good at painting, and to this day, she still can't arouse interest in painting.
People's Daily once did a crackdown education on parents, the survey was 2006 young people aged 18 to 35, and 90.6% of the respondents admitted that their parents had made verbal attacks on themselves.
And 45.4 percent of respondents believe the blow will continue into secondary school.
Children will receive a security and take to heart the evaluation they receive from their favorite parents.
Teacher Honglan has a little sister, when she was young, when her relatives and friends praised their children for being good-looking, her mother would humbly pick out the little sister she had been carrying and say, look at her, here it doesn't grow well, it doesn't grow well there. In fact, it was just a modest statement at the time, not really hitting on how ugly their children were. But the little sister who does not understand the way of modesty believes that it is true, and until now she is more than 50 years old, and she can wear makeup, and it is very thick.
Teacher Hong Lan said that they are so old, don't wear too much makeup and so on. The little sister will say that since her mother said in front of outsiders that she was not good-looking, she has not been confident, so she has been relying on makeup to improve her self-confidence. And their mothers don't even remember saying that their daughters are not good-looking, but such a random sentence has left a deep imprint on the child's heart.
Gain the trust of your child, and your child will communicate with you
The person will see himself as equal, listen to himself, and after determining this, the child will tell him his true feelings.
Friends said that she was very upset recently, her child was bullied by other classmates at school, but he did not tell his parents, but chose to tell his good friends, and finally the child's good friends told her, she was very remorseful and sad.
The book talks about a lovely logistics uncle in the kindergarten, when a piece of the school tree has been uprooted several times, the logistics uncle did not split his head and accuse him when he knew that it was Xiao Zhou pulling, but asked why he wanted to pull up the tree in a logical and seductive manner, Xiao Zhou under the guidance of the uncle, said that he wanted to find the larvae of the cicada, desperately digging the soil, the tree fell, not want to pull the tree.
Why did Xiao Zhou confide in the uncle, because the uncle's patient guidance and listening made him feel that the uncle was a trustworthy person.
And are we like my friends, when the child makes a mistake and does not have the patience to listen, it is also difficult for the child to trust, and the child will not tell such a parent about his true feelings.
3. Construct a triangle of happiness in childhood
The happiest foundation that supports our lives is "emotional development and stability", cultivating an intimate parent-child relationship, so that children have a tangible feeling of "I am important".
The third chapter of the book begins with an emphasis on the ability to live happily ever after, far more important than "good grades."
There is such a passage in "The Language that Makes Children Happy",
How can children feel at ease?
"Mom and Dad like me now"
"As long as I'm around Mom and Dad, they'll feel happy."
Cultivating this feeling of children is like "saving" for the child's future happy life.
This is the same as "Every child can open like a flower", which emphasizes that children feel important and prepare for a happy life in the future.
So what should parents do?
Emotional development and stability --- hug! embrace! embrace! Convey the love of the heart
Psychologist Erikson pointed out in his study of children's personality development:
"Security is not innate, and security is built on a child's early years, especially before the child turns 3 years old."
Building a secure attachment isn't complicated, it's as simple as cuddling. Psychologist Harlow once did experiments with young monkeys, and he kept newborn monkeys alone in cages, one of which was a wire mother who could provide milk, and the other was a flannel mother with warm embrace. Experiments have shown that young monkeys only find their mother wire when they are hungry, and most of the other times they stay with the fluffy and warm flannel mother.
And another set of experiments, is to put this young monkey into a new environment, the young monkey is very nervous, curled up in a corner, when the wire mother into the room, the tension was not relieved at all, when the flannel mother was put into the room, the young monkey immediately pounced.
It turns out that physical contact between mom and child is a key point in forming attachment to mother.
In the process of hugging, the parent-child relationship is enhanced, and the child's emotions develop steadily.
Autonomy development --- allow the child to do what he wants to do
What is the characteristic of the child at the terrible two-year-old, that is, to add the word "no" in front of almost all the answers, which is the child's first period of resistance.
In the face of this period of want to do their own things, the ability is not yet up to the level, parents do not rush to do for them, do not urge orders, give children some time to let them grow slowly. If you really can't do it independently, your parents can quietly help.
Quarrels are opportunities for children to grow --- social development
When the child quarrels, parents should not lead the child away or let the child be patient, but leave it to the child to deal with it under the condition of ensuring the safety of the child. In miracle kindergartens, there is often a phenomenon in which children compete with each other to ride due to the lack of bicycles. At this time, parents can tell their children how to communicate, and say to each other, "Please borrow me to play for a while", if the other party replies "no", you can continue to guide the child to say "After playing, will it be okay to borrow me to play?" "Keep repeating such exercises.
Teacher Fumiko Okawa observed that generally with the increase in the number of quarrels, the child's quarrel ability is gradually formed, and the result is usually as good as ever, even if the two are deadlocked, the children next to them will also come to reconcile.
Let go and let the child play more --- knowledge acquisition
Early childhood is not to use the mind to acquire knowledge, but to use experience to acquire knowledge, children's growth is based on spontaneous learning, not passive learning. Parents should let their children play more, at this time all the children's abilities are obtained through play.
Parents can't help their children avoid things that are a little dangerous or troublesome, and they must know that there is no growth without experience, and children cannot reach the peak of the ability triangle.
In miracle kindergarten, teachers not only pay attention to the visible growth of children, but also pay attention to the invisible growth, that is, the growth of the soul. For example, cultivate children's ability to think that they are important and valuable (self-affirmation), the ability to think that "they can", the ability to persevere to the end, and the ability to self-discipline, as well as the ability to be grateful, the ability to unite and cooperate with those around them, and the ability to perceive the mood of others. And these are the indispensable abilities of human beings to live a happy life, far more important than good grades.
At the end of the book, I write about Mr. Okawa, which is worth reading for each of us, whether it is a young child or us as parents. Over 90 years old, Mr. Okawa still has a very happy day, actively doing things that make her heart move, and it is also her optimistic attitude that has created this kindergarten called "miracle" in the ideal of zero complaints, employees are reluctant to resign, and children growing up happily and freely.