Li Yue'er丨 Children "love to cling to people" and "do not go to kindergarten" of the 6 major emotional problems to solve the countermeasures

1, the child is always clinging to the mother

Parents are tired from work for a day and want to relax, but the child keeps clinging to his mother and wants to play with his mother. This situation in your child can be caused by the following reasons:

First, when the child is very young, the mother goes to work, for the baby, the mother's face is the child's safe harbor, after the baby is born, when he can see things and pair the voice with the person, the first thing to find is the mother, in the process of mother care, the child will be the mother's body and the mother's face into their own environment, become a necessary condition for life.

Children have a sensitive period of order, and everything that the child pays attention to changes its position in the order will make them uncomfortable.

If the mother leaves the child to go to work when the child is three or four months old, and then appears in front of the child after a few hours, the child does not know why the mother is inexplicably gone, it will be very anxious, the feeling of panic is left in the child's heart, and in later life, the child will always feel that there is not enough time with the mother, as long as the mother is there, it will stick to the mother all the time.

Second, if one parent's emotions are capricious, so that the child finds in the parents' emotions that people sometimes become very terrible, and thus thinks that others will do the same, only if the person who closely follows the emotional capriciousness will he avoid being hurt.

In this case, the child will also have the phenomenon of sticking to the mother or sticking to the father. Sometimes quarrels between parents can also create such a state.

Third, in the face of emergencies, such as seeing a casualty incident, being frightened, and being attacked by other children in the kindergarten, there will also be a situation of sticking to the mother.

In response to this phenomenon, adults should try to eliminate the factors that make children feel unsafe in the environment, do not have too much entanglement with children when parting, take time to do some things with children, and interact with children intimately.

You can have your child sit in your arms and take a book to tell a story to your child. In this way, both the mother and the child will be replenished.

In fact, at this time, the child does not really want to play with you, but wants to feel with the mother.

If you just hold the child in your arms and keep stroking, the child can only experience the comfort of the mother's body, and will continue to ask for more time for the mother to hold him in the future.

2, children do not want to go to kindergarten

If the child appears to wake up and cry at night, after two months, every day in kindergarten is still very sad, gradually become silent, lose the lively state, laugh is not from the bottom of the heart, then it means that this kindergarten is not suitable for children, to consider changing the kindergarten for children.

Parents can go to the kindergarten to listen to a lesson to see if the kindergarten education is too far from the child's development trajectory, so that the child can live there like a year.

If this is the case, consider moving to a kindergarten that is more understanding and loving. If not, look for other reasons.

Family coddling and excessive physical comfort will make the child afraid to leave the family, and if there is such a situation, the family must make adjustments as soon as possible.

If the child cries every morning and does not want to go, but when the parents pick him up, they see that he is happy and even unwilling to go home, it means that the child only has a habitual parting ceremony caused by the previous parting.

In addition, after spending a night at home, when he was in kindergarten, the current situation made him feel reluctant to leave the house. After a day in kindergarten, the kindergarten scene makes him reluctant to leave kindergarten, which is typical of children's sensory thinking.

They have not yet developed the ability to think comprehensively and cannot analyze their current state. Therefore, they will not want to go in the morning and do not want to go back at night. If so, the parent does not have to worry, he can use his morning crying as a ritual, such crying will not hurt the child.

3, the child is very sleepy at night, but still refuses to sleep

The child is already very sleepy, or ask his mother to keep telling him stories, even if the mother is eager to let him fall asleep, he still can't sleep, and will ask for water and go to the bathroom again and again.

This is due to the anxiety caused by the child going to kindergarten during the day, worrying that he will not be able to control himself when he is asleep, and he will not know what his mother will do, and he is worried that his mother will send him to kindergarten again.

So I think that as long as I am awake and can see my mother and the environment I am in, I will know that I am not in kindergarten. The anxiety in my heart hopes to be relieved by keeping my mom around for a long time.

The general reason for this situation is that the previous living environment at home was too simple, the care was excessive, the child rarely contacted the outside world, the kindergarten did not arrange the time for parents to accompany the kindergarten and evacuate during the kindergarten period, and there was no teacher to help the child adapt to the kindergarten, plus the mother was too busy and did not have enough time with the child.

In this case, parents should patiently wait for the child to adapt to the kindergarten, and at the same time communicate with the kindergarten, it is recommended that the kindergarten send a special teacher to establish a stable and reliable relationship with the child, no matter what the teacher does, take the child with him.

Mothers should consider reducing working hours, stipulating the number of stories to tell before going to bed, not talking to the child after speaking, not asking the child to sleep quickly, just slowly let the child relax, and the child will soon enter a good sleep state.

4, do not eat well

In this case, if it is not an organic problem, then most of it is due to the psychological anorexia caused by parents always asking their children to eat more.

Because parents attach too much importance to their children's eating, when the children do not have the desire to eat, they forcibly force the children to eat, and put the food into the children's mouths at any time when the children are watching TV and playing.

Children do not eat autonomously, the brain does not produce information to receive food, the mouth cannot produce a keen sense of taste, and the digestive system does not secrete fluids to digest food.

In this way, it seems that the food is stuffed into the child's stomach and cannot actually be absorbed by the child. As a result, the child does not feel the pleasure of eating when eating, and cannot taste the taste of food. Food in the stomach can not be digested, but also caused stomach discomfort, a long time, resulting in digestive system disorders, it is more reluctant to eat.

In this case, first of all, you should stop forcing the child to eat, wait for the child to be hungry, let him eat by himself, the feeling of hunger will make the child experience the pleasure of eating.

When eating, it is necessary to stipulate the rules of eating, such as not playing while eating, must sit at the table with the family, if the child has to watch TV, or must play, you can let him choose whether to give up eating.

If the child gives up, don't blame him, calmly put away the meal after eating, put away the snacks, and do not give him other food before the next meal.

At this time, parents should endure the pain of their children and help their children solve this problem. At the same time, do not go out of your way to introduce the deliciousness of the meal to your child when eating, do not force your child to eat a fixed amount, and do not feed your child to eat.

If the child eats too slowly, it is estimated that the child is about to eat, so calmly close the bowl and do not say anything. In this way, the child will slowly return to good eating habits.

5. Confusion about making friends

If the child says that the kindergarten is not playing with him, the child will look very pitiful, and sometimes cry to the parents and express their reluctance to go to kindergarten.

Most parents will transplant their children's emotions to themselves at this time, feeling indignant, in fact, this is the beginning of the growth of children's friendship. Because they have no experience in building friendships or having experienced making friends, they don't know that the interaction of friends is originally gathered and scattered.

Separating family relationships from friends is a subject that children need to recognize.

Kindergarten can interact with children equally, and under a relationship of equal interaction, bear the conflict that children should bear, so that children can grow.

Therefore, such a problem is actually encountered by every child, and it is a good growth opportunity.

On the one hand, parents should empathize with their children, and on the other hand, they can invite the child and his parents to play together at home.

It's a very good thing for families of children in the same class to socialize with each other. It can not only enable adults to exchange parenting experiences, but also enable children to find friends like brothers and sisters.

6. When the child is frustrated

After returning home, the child told the parents that so-and-so children beat him, and so-and-so children always robbed his things. This is also a normal problem that children should encounter in his social group, and many parents are more anxious about this problem and worry that their children will suffer losses.

Parents can understand that if the child is controlled and bullied by a child for a long time in the kindergarten, it is necessary to communicate with the teacher, let the teacher try to separate the two children, and re-establish a friend group for the bullied child.

If the child still enjoys being with the child who controls him, despite feeling uncomfortable, the teacher and the parent should work together to evoke the child's care for the other children and adopt a more humane attitude towards his "followers".

At this time, parents need to empathize with their children at home, it can be said: children hit you, you must be very angry, children grab your things, you must want to get your things back, if you don't come back, you will miss your things very much.

First remove the child from the bad emotions caused by the incident, and then find a way to communicate with the teacher behind the child's back, let the teacher help the child get back what was snatched by others, make friends with the child who beat him, or separate the child who habitually beat people from the beaten child.

The most inappropriate thing to do is to empathize with your child's beating and angrily shout at your child: "He beat you, why don't you beat him!" "Instead of working, this will increase the child's fear and make him more cowardly."