The essence of education is that instead of filling a bucket of water, it is better to light a fire. To be a wise parent, we must know how to awaken the child's inner learning motivation. - Le Dad
____ Author 丨 Xie Yingping
Many parents have this question, how can children get into good schools? What should parents do?
Some parents are worried that their children do not love to learn, and they always want parents to push forward, what to do?
We all know that family types are diverse, cannot be one-size-fits-all, and there is no one-size-fits-all.
Nor can we judge children by whether they can enter key schools.
However, there is one thing that all parents should spend energy on, and that is to stimulate the internal motivation of their children to learn.
So, how can we stimulate the intrinsic motivation of children to learn? I think parents can try something from these aspects.
01
Give your child a jump to pick an apple
I used to take students to the countryside to learn farming, and I saw children picking apples in the orchard.
Children jumped and plucked apples from trees, sometimes flushing them with water, sometimes not washing them, and wiping the peels of the apples and eating them.
Look at these children usually eat fruit at home, parents cut the apple peel, cut the apple into slices, put it in the fruit plate, the toothpick is inserted, handed to the hand, the children are still lazy to eat.
This is what we call "jumping to pick an apple", and the same is true for children's learning.
Parents should set their expectations for their children at the right level.
Don't take a big bag and send the "apple" directly to the child, otherwise the child will lose interest; but also make sure that the target is what the child can touch by jumping, otherwise the child will lose confidence.
02
Don't force your child for the sake of face
Some parents like to compare: How can someone else's child be so smart? People first, what about you?
In this way, the child slowly forms a psychological stereotype of "I am dumber than others", and even produces the resistance of "mother likes others".
Parents should not compare, but should base themselves on the actual situation of their children.
Children can now jump 1.2 meters, that 1.3 meters is a more appropriate target, do not because other children can jump to 1.5 meters, they must also ask their children to jump so high.
Don't force your children to read just for their own face, reading under pressure is not good.
03
Don't think of children as "rice bags" of knowledge
Parents want to understand, do you want to cultivate a "rice bag" of knowledge, or do you want to cultivate a complete person?
Or do you want your children to be knowledgeable or intelligent?
If the answer is the latter, there is less indoctrination, encourage the child to ask more why, do not avoid the child's questions, even if the child does not ask, you must also inspire him to ask.
Let your child know ABCD early, so let your child ask a more why.
04
It is most appropriate to grasp the language before the age of 13
The development of children's learning ability is regular.
Before the age of 13, children's image thinking, intuitive thinking, and imitation ability are relatively strong, and learning language at this stage is the most appropriate.
For example, it is easier to memorize ancient poems in elementary school than it is to memorize them in college. In high school, abstract thinking and logical reasoning skills have developed, and it will be easier to learn subjects such as mathematics.
But now many parents have turned around, learning the Olympic mathematics in primary school and memorizing foreign languages in high school, which misses the opportunity and doubles the effort.
Be sure to let your child do whatever he is.
05
Amplify your child's sense of accomplishment
Why do I like math?
When I was in middle school, once I was the first in the class to make a problem assigned by the teacher, the teacher ran from the podium, touched my head and asked, are you feeling happier than eating a candy?
I said yes, and since then I've loved math and thought I was a math line, and that's the magic of encouragement and fulfillment.
06
Increase efficiency with "Limited Timekeeping"
For parents, encouragement alone is not enough.
When your child encounters difficulties, if you just say "I believe in you" and "you must be able to" on the side, it does not make much sense, and it is necessary to help the child solve some specific problems.
For example, when some children first enter primary school, it is more difficult to do mathematical oral arithmetic problems, and parents can learn from the practice of "decomposing movements" in sports training:
40 questions, children can not finish at once, parents can divide the questions into 8 groups, each group of 5 questions, after doing a group and then do a group.
You can use "limited timekeeping" to improve efficiency, such as each time you do 5 correct questions, write down the time and compare them, or use the "time limit counting" method - give him 10 minutes to see how many questions he does correctly.
The same applies to assignments such as transcribe vocabulary.
In this way, a difficult big task is decomposed into several small tasks, making difficulties easy and complicated into simple, which is an effective way for teachers and parents to help children overcome difficulties, experience success, and enhance self-confidence and interest.
07
Turn learning into raising chlorella, cutting earthworms...
I remember when I was a child, the biology teacher taught us to raise chlorella, put tap water in a wide-mouth bottle, blow air into the water every day, and slowly the color of the water turned green;
Let's also cut the earthworm into several pieces, bury it in the dirt and observe how it slowly grows into a strip of earthworms... I thought it was like magic, and my biggest dream at that time was to be a biologist.
Later, the physics teacher taught us to make ore radios and transistor radios, and the moment the radio we installed received the broadcast, I was really so excited that I immediately changed my dream to being a radio inventor.
In fact, these hands-on experiments are easy to operate, parents can take their children to do, which is very useful for cultivating children's learning interest, hands-on ability, and exploration habits.
In addition, there are some ways to learn mathematics with games, such as building blocks for smaller children, from which you can understand the graphic concepts of triangles, rectangles, circles, semicircles and color concepts such as red, green, and yellow;
You can also develop habits of observation, memory, imagination, cooperation, etc.; older children can use playing cards to calculate 24 points, and so on.
08
Encourage self-study + discussion
I advocate that students should go to the teacher, classmates or parents to ask questions when they have problems, rather than asking teachers to make up lessons for students at a fixed time, which is the difference between independent learning and passive learning.
I also advocate mutual discussion among peers.
What you learn by yourself, teach others again, understand it more deeply, and discussion can produce new ideas and new methods.
Therefore, the result of the discussion is a win-win situation, and the child's communication ability and sense of cooperation can also be cultivated.
09
Sit next to your child and read a book
A person's growth requires three paths: self-learning, peer cooperation, and expert leadership.
Self-learning and peer cooperation have just been talked about, and this "expert" of "expert leadership" includes not only teachers but also parents for children.
It is best that when the child is studying, parents do not run to watch TV, play mahjong, dance, and do not stand at the door to see if the child is writing homework, but sit next to the child and read and learn together.
There is now a popular saying:
First-class parents are role models, second-rate parents are coaches, and third-rate parents are nannies.
I have found that among the students, all those who have developed more comprehensively and have their own ideas are more democratic and equal in the family, and parents and children are discussion-oriented, heuristic, not indoctrinated and repressive.
Parents have something to discuss with their children, parents accompany their children to grow up, is a good teacher and friend.
The role of this family atmosphere is subtle.
Author: Xie Yingping, former principal of Fudan Affiliated High School, text compiled from Tencent Culture.
*The pictures in this article are from Figureworm Creative.
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