Seven tips for parents: how to effectively support their children's growth during home learning

Most urban families have parents who are "newbies" to their children of every age.

Especially in the face of children learning online classes at home, how can parents guide and accompany their children? What should be done if the child has problems such as insufficient independent learning ability, learning procrastination, insufficient concentration, and poor self-discipline ability?

The family is the child's nearest classroom, the child's first school, and the parents are the child's first teachers and the best teachers for the child. Every day parents spend, they are answering questions for themselves and proofing their children's lives. Xiaobian sorted out several common problems and corresponding strategies, hoping to help everyone win these challenges.

How to stimulate children's interest in learning?

Teaching by example is better than words, and the best education is exemplary demonstration. If we lead by example, the confidence to make demands on children will naturally be enough, and education with confidence is effective education. Even if no requirements are made to the child, the child is imperceptibly affected unconsciously.

1. It is also necessary to learn on your own

In general, people are social animals, and learning at home alone is more likely to breed negative emotions. If you don't go to work, when your child is studying, as a parent, you may wish to read books, read newspapers, and do things that also require time and energy to improve yourself.

In this way, the child's heart will be more peaceful.

2. A little bit of "common concern"

The online world is vast and boundless, and it is difficult to distinguish between true and false information, which can easily make children lose their way. As a parent, we should spread more official and true information to our children, filter the words of emotional catharsis, push articles of rational speculation, watch high-value film and television programs with our children, check from the source, and provide healthy and fertile soil for the growth of children.

3. The school should be clear

As a parent, you should pay attention to the information of the school, understand the requirements of the school, and know how the school organizes the teaching. Only by understanding can it be possible to help. This is not to require parents to make a big package, but to observe from the sidelines, prepare to make up the stage, and remind supervision when necessary. You have a heart, and the child values it. If you don't pay attention, the possibility of the child being casual increases greatly.

4. Walk in and see, it's worth a thousand words

Countless practices have proven that supervised learning behaviors tend to be more efficient. As a parent, it is necessary to perform the duties of observation, reminder and feedback, otherwise, learning is easy to take the form and lack of practical results.

Walking in is not approaching, but a kind of zero-distance contact, going deep into it, containing two meanings.

Go into the room and see if you are listening to the lecture, whether the state of the lecture is good, and whether you have taken class notes.

Open the homework book to take a look, look at the number of writing, preliminarily understand the quality of the completion, you do not have to be a professional talent, but you just open their homework, open their books, basically can understand eight or nine inseparable.

5. Help set big ambitions

Some parents believe that setting ambitions is the task of schools. In fact, families take on the same task. Ambition is an important factor in maintaining a child's motivation to learn.

So, how do you do that?

Guide children to "sweep a house", parents can set up a "family note board", let children see the problems in the family, share regularly, and listen to how children see and solve problems in the family.

Guide children to "look at the world", over time, children's learning motivation will change. When such a child grows up, when the country needs it, when the people need it, when it encounters a dilemma, it can be more firm, not entangled, and not confused.

Establishing ambition from an early age will have a good enlightenment for children's will quality, vision and way of thinking. Parents should let their children understand that your world not only has learning, but also external life, and help children slowly understand: what is "respect for knowledge, reverence for nature", "seeking truth from facts, adhering to the truth", "standing up, not afraid of danger", "taking responsibility, active action". At the same time, we must also let children realize that there are also a variety of lives in society, and understand what is "negligence, fear of hands and feet", "fueling the waves, no position", "seeing profits and forgetting righteousness, there is no bottom line".

How do I keep my child focused?

Children experience the sensation of flow. Only when one experiences the flow of the heart does one know how it feels to do things that require patience, slowness, high intelligence, high density and concentration. Once he gets that feeling, he wants that feeling again, this kind of highly intelligent activity, and after doing it once, he will be addicted, and the next time he wants such a thing, the name of this thing is called the sense of accomplishment.

Cultivating the ability to focus quietly is not easy, and there are a few secrets:

1. It's best for the whole family to do one thing at the same time

In fact, you should have a high-quality time with your children and family in a day. When parents do it with their children, the odds of success are greatly increased.

2. Build an "electronic prison"

When the whole family reads and writes together, put all the mobile phones and iPads into a box, and the name of this box is electronic prison. Humans leave their phones and live twice as long. Because the focus is not disturbed state is extremely efficient.

3. Start by reading and writing

Why is reading writing the easiest to start?

There is no threshold for reading and writing. As long as you can read, speak, have ideas, and have memories, you can read and write.

4. Start in three minutes

The way I "cure" the monkey doll is to ask him to stop writing for three minutes and keep writing - first let the child go to the toilet, drink good water, ensure that 3 pens can work smoothly, give him a three-minute hourglass, and tell the child: as long as you write for three minutes, you can stop writing.

Children over the age of 6 only need to give him three minutes, he opens his head, and can generally write for 15 minutes to 20 minutes, which is very remarkable.

What if my child can't stick to the plan?

1. Why do children always rebel against plans?

This is because the child has two major needs that have not been met, one is called a sense of control, and he has no sense of control over a thing; one need is a sense of value, and the child's sense of value is not met.

Before making a plan, ask your child: What are the things you specifically want to do? After doing it, you are very happy, and you don't want to lie in bed when you open your eyes in the morning?

You have to respect your child's truthful answers. If a child does not do what he particularly wants to do, he will be very resistant to the plan. No matter how wise and great the plan is, the child will resist.

The second is that the child's sense of worth should be satisfied. Children especially enjoy writing classes, usually when they have made major breakthroughs and written good articles. When a person meets the challenge and achieves it, he will like one thing.

The part of the plan should consist of things that both parents and children find valuable.

Therefore, our plan must include these two parts: what we want to do and what we should do. A plan with a sense of value and control can only be executed, and it is worthy of being executed.

2. Why does the plan always fail?

Because there are no details.

What does an easy-to-execute plan look like?

For example, the picture above: 9:00 ~ 10:00 is learning English. Later, I said that it is the 5th lesson of intensive reading, and it is planned to learn specifically.

What to read? "My Name Is Red". Specifies which book to read.

What is socializing? How does social networking plan?

Make an appointment with social partners in advance, agree on specific times and social projects, and refine the plan to what time, with whom, and how to play, such a plan is easy to implement.

From these details, you can see that this is a plan with a strong willingness to execute.

This is the ability to make plans, in general: first, when setting up, the sense of control and value must be satisfied. Second, we must carry out actual battles in a specific and detailed manner.

How to stick to exercise at home?

1. Make a detailed exercise plan. The plan needs to be detailed to what time period to do what exercise, accurate to every hour and minute of each day, try to set aside a specific time for exercise every day, and stick to the exercise plan to the end.

Or make a family exercise punch card plan that lasts longer than who stays active at home.

Before the implementation, the whole family sat together to discuss the purpose and significance of the sports punch card, set a goal for their own sports, and the whole family agreed on the time period of the sports punch card, the punch card convention, the reward and punishment system...

To determine the family common sports punch card plan, the child or parent can make a punch card plan and hang it in a prominent position at home. Each person punches in according to their actual exercise situation. Wait until the agreed time is temporary, and check whether each of them has completed the punch card task together.

According to the pre-agreed reward and punishment system, those who complete or fail to complete the task are rewarded or punished accordingly.

2. The intensity of exercise increases gradually from low to high. Don't force yourself too hard at the beginning, from low intensity to high-intensity exercise, step by step.

3. Increase the diversity of sports. Increase the diversity of sports and reduce the dullness and inertia caused by a single sport.

For example, following the video or music, a parent-child health exercise, while enlivening the body and mind, improving the sense of rhythm and exercising the reflexes, also makes the home full of joyful atmosphere, in one fell swoop. Similarly, there are some fun parent-child sports such as pulling a big saw, interactive flat brace, and tigger.

Children can also be encouraged to appear on camera to record videos, take photos and record their achievements as a growth manual for their own exercise, and also add fun to sports.

How to improve children's self-discipline?

1. Start with the collective contract

Before self-discipline has been cultivated, it is necessary to replace self-discipline with a constructive other law, the collective contract, to set aside time for the cultivation of self-discipline.

The details to note are:

Family conventions, class management conventions, activity group activity conventions, etc., should be created by children under the guidance of parents or teachers.

In the process of creation, fairness and justice, balance of responsibilities and rights, full discussion, one matter and one discussion, the basic principles of the majority ruling should be observed, the convention should be highlighted (the rules are clearly stated first, the right thing is not right), the instrumentality (everything is not morally pulled, and the tools can be solved are never unprovoked or accused), the value is neutral (aimed at consolidating organizational identity, improving operational efficiency, and balancing multiple interests), and parents or teachers should also be equal members of it, not on top.

The system unilaterally formulated by parents or teachers will only provoke confrontation, or only require children to do it, but parents or teachers can not play an exemplary role will make the contract into unfair, only the contract created by children and abide by the parents has vitality, and everyone will abide by it.

2. The management system should be appropriate

Don't be one-size-fits-all management. For example, during the period of home learning, you can work with your children to develop a mobile phone use schedule during the extraordinary period, such as agreeing to use the mobile phone in these two time periods (15:00-16:00 in the afternoon, 19:00-20:00 in the evening) to collect and upload homework, answer questions, summarize sharing, news browsing, opinion reports, full thinking, full communication, and colliding with the spark of thinking.

The more self-disciplined, the greater the child's right to use the mobile phone, and the offending user will be demoted and the use of the right to use will be reduced until the use of the mobile phone is banned all the time. The setting of this management system is for everyone to understand a truth: the more self-disciplined, the more free, so that everyone can cultivate their own self-discipline ability.

3. Help children clarify their goals and decompose them to achieve

Only if it is truly from the heart and wants the goal, the child has the inner strength to fight for it.

Only when it is written in a written way and is a very clear goal can it show that the child has sorted out his own goals in his heart.

For example: this semester I want to study mathematics hard, this semester I want to read more, etc., it is not a good goal, but can only be regarded as a good will, what degree to do is not clear, easy to discount in implementation. If I set the goal of "my math score will be upgraded from C to B this semester, or I will read six books, including a well-known domestic classical novel and a well-known foreign science fiction novel, a biography, an introductory book on philosophy, a book on modern European history and a book on tourism", it is clear and easy to self-supervise whether there is a discount.

Sharing goals with your best friends or posting them helps push yourself to fulfill your commitments, which works better when paired with a creative contractual reward and punishment system that kids are more willing to stick to.

All of this should have a sense of ceremony, to give meaning to our next actions, and often the greater the meaning of a thing to us, the more willing we are to stick to it.

The child will not grow up to be what we want, he will most likely look like us.

In this sense, only highly disciplined parents and teachers can raise highly disciplined children.

There are no shortcuts, and it is precisely because there are no shortcuts, that the acquisition of this quality is precious.

Positive and healthy parent-child relationship

Where to start?

Involve children in family matters, clean up together, cook a table together, or read a book together to discuss a topic and share insights into each other's learning. The Family Clock-in Program is an activity that quickly brings together family motivation. You can pick out a common punching goal and then complete the punching task within the specified time in the form you like.

In addition, pay attention to these details in daily life:

The bottom line should be clear. Let the child understand that the rules need to be followed and cannot be changed at will.

Rewards and punishments should be clear. Punishment is not corporal punishment. When the child does not do a good job, one thing can be canceled. Rewards must be timely, for example, to encourage children: it is good to see that you have overcome the little worms, and patiently wait for everyone to eat together!

In particular, children of any age must have restrictions on the use of electronic products, no more than 20 minutes or 40 minutes at a time. If your child is young, do not exceed 20 minutes; when your child reaches the upper grades, it is best not to exceed 40 minutes. No more than twice a day, preferably at a fixed time.

Know what to do, keep the bottom line. During the stay-at-home period, parents should estimate the approximate time and how their children will complete their homework. To let children understand that if parents check homework and do not complete it, there is a price to pay. This is often said to be strict, to see tightly, but also to see whether parents can keep the bottom line.

Both empathy and hardness control. Many parents are afraid of their children crying, and in the face of their children's crying, the core is to let the children return to peace. Don't try to explain too much truth to your child, but the attitude of parents should be gentle and firm. When the child needs to end the game, it can be said: "You must be finished, tomorrow we can still have time to play the game." Therefore, parents need to use a calm tone to pass on the awareness of the rules to the children, and let the children understand that the rules need to be observed and cannot be changed at will.

How to keep peace in case of trouble

Growing up with kids?

In the face of children, how to control emotions? As a parent, it is important to block negative emotions in time, take a deep breath, and seize the time to think about the following.

First, withdraw yourself. Observe rationally what you feel and think. This is the first step in re-evaluation.

Second, ask yourself why you are angry. You might say "because my son is so stupid, what to do later". At this point, you have to stop and say again, "I have an idea, my son is too stupid, what to do later", that is, to add a prefix of "I have an idea". Because this is just your idea, the idea is not the truth, avoid you confusing the idea with the fact.

The third step is to cut off the wrong logic chain. For example, there may be a negative correlation between good grades and success and happiness. Human life and failure, living standards, and quality of life may be more correlated with variables such as personality soundness and values. Happiness is not a state, but an ability, a perception of happiness, and the opposite of happiness is not unhappiness but numbness.

The fourth step is to dance with discomfort. Sometimes the survival instinct formed by evolution is our enemy, and the survival instinct makes us feel uncomfortable with many things, things, and situations to improve the vigilance of the organism, respond appropriately in time, and improve the probability of survival. However, when our "discomfort threshold" drops lower and lower to an unreasonable level, our lives become unbearable, and we will fall into bad behavior patterns, with devastating effects on the health and even lives of ourselves and those around us. There are things, things, situations that make you feel uncomfortable, that you should live in peace with it, dance with it, live with each other, form a balance, in fact they are part of your life.

Understand these truths, conform to the laws of nature, do nothing, and teach unspoken.

The source of this article | New Principal Media

Responsible editors| Wang Jiashi and Wang Xinzhe