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Wonderful introduction
I have found that among the students, all those who have developed more comprehensively and have their own ideas are more democratic and equal in the family, and parents and children are discussion-oriented, heuristic, not indoctrinated and repressive.
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Author: Xie Yingping Former principal of Fudan Affiliated High School
Many parents have this question, how can children get into good schools? What should parents do? Some parents are worried that their children do not love to learn, and they always want parents to push forward, what to do?
We all know that family types are multi-layered and diverse, and cannot be one-size-fits-all, without a master key. Nor can we judge children by whether they can enter key schools. However, there is one thing that all parents should spend energy on, and that is to stimulate the internal motivation of their children to learn.
So, how can we stimulate the intrinsic motivation of children to learn? I think parents can try something from these aspects.
1. Give your child an apple that can only be picked by jumping
I used to take students to the countryside to learn farming, and I saw children picking apples in the orchard. Children jumped and plucked apples from trees, sometimes flushing them with water, sometimes not washing them, and wiping the peels of the apples and eating them.
Look at these children usually eat fruit at home, parents cut the apple peel, cut the apple into slices, put it in the fruit plate, the toothpick is inserted, handed to the hand, the children are still lazy to eat.
This is what we call "a jump to pick an apple". The same is true for children. Parents should set their expectations for their children at the right level. Don't take a big package and send the "apple" directly to the child, otherwise the child will not be interested; but also make sure that the target is what the child can touch by jumping, otherwise the child will lose confidence.
2, do not force children for the sake of face
Some parents like to compare, how can other people's children be so smart? People first, what about you? In this way, the child slowly forms a psychological stereotype of "I am dumber than others", and even produces the resistance of "mother likes others".
Don't compare, but based on the actual situation of your own child. Children can now jump 1.2 meters, that 1.3 meters is a more appropriate target, do not because other children can jump 1.5 meters, they must also jump so high. Don't force your children to read just for their own face, reading under pressure is not good.
3, do not use children as a "rice bag" containing knowledge
Parents want to understand, do you want to cultivate a "rice bag" of knowledge, or do you want to cultivate a complete person? Or do you want your children to be knowledgeable or intelligent? If the answer is the latter, less indoctrination, encourage the child to ask more whys, do not avoid the child's questions, even if the child does not ask, you must also inspire him to ask. It's better to know ABCD early than to ask your child one more why.
4. It is most appropriate to grasp the language before the age of 13
The development of children's learning ability is regular. Before the age of 13, children's image thinking, intuitive thinking, and imitation ability are relatively strong, and learning language at this stage is the most appropriate. For example, it is easier to memorize ancient poems in elementary school than it is to memorize them in college. In high school, abstract thinking and logical reasoning skills have developed, and it will be easier to learn subjects such as mathematics.
But now many parents have turned around, learning the Olympic mathematics in primary school and memorizing foreign languages in high school, which misses the opportunity and doubles the effort. What age to do something.
5. Amplify your child's sense of accomplishment
Why do I like math? When I was in middle school, once I was the first in the class to make a problem assigned by the teacher, the teacher ran from the podium, touched my head and asked, are you feeling happier than eating a candy? I said yes. Since then, I have liked mathematics and thought that I was good at mathematics. That's the magic of encouragement and fulfillment.
6. Improve efficiency with "limited question timing"
For parents, encouragement alone is not enough. When your child encounters difficulties, if you just say "I believe you" and "you must be able to" on the side, it doesn't make much sense, and you have to help your child solve some specific problems.
For example, when some children first enter primary school, it is more difficult to do mathematical oral arithmetic problems, parents can learn from the practice of "decomposing actions" in sports training, 40 problems, children can not finish at once, parents can divide the problems into 8 groups, each group of 5 questions, do a group and then do a group. You can use "limited timekeeping" to improve efficiency, such as each time you do 5 correct questions, write down the time and compare them, or the "time limit counting" method - give him 10 minutes to see how many questions he does correctly. The same applies to assignments such as transcribe vocabulary.
In this way, a difficult big task is decomposed into several small tasks, making difficulties easy and complicated into simple, which is an effective way for teachers and parents to help children overcome difficulties, experience success, and enhance self-confidence and interest.
7, turn learning into raising chlorella, cutting earthworms, making cash registers...
I remember when I was a child, the biology teacher taught us to raise chlorella, put tap water in a wide-mouth bottle, blow air into the water every day, and slowly the color of the water turned green; and let us cut the earthworms into several sections, bury them in the soil to observe how they slowly grew into earthworms... I thought it was like magic, and my biggest dream at that time was to be a biologist.
Later, the physics teacher taught us to make ore radios and transistor radios, and the moment my own radio received the broadcast, I was really excited, and I immediately changed my dream to be a radio inventor.
In fact, these hands-on experiments are easy to operate, parents can take their children to do, which is very useful for cultivating children's learning interest, hands-on ability, and exploration habits.
In addition, there are some ways to learn mathematics with games, such as smaller children building blocks, from which you can understand the graphic concepts of triangles, rectangles, gardens, semicircles and color concepts such as red, green, and yellow, and you can also develop habits such as observation, memory, imagination, and cooperation; older children can use playing cards to calculate 24 points, and so on.
8. Encourage self-study + discussion
I advocate that students should go to the teacher, classmates or parents to ask questions when they have questions, rather than asking the teacher to make up lessons for students at a fixed time. This is the difference between self-directed learning and passive learning.
I also advocate mutual discussion among peers. What you learn by yourself, teach others again, understand it more deeply, and discussion can produce new ideas and new methods. Therefore, the result of the discussion is a win-win situation, and the child's communication ability and sense of cooperation can also be cultivated.
9, sit next to the child and read a book
A person's growth requires three paths: self-learning, peer cooperation, and expert leadership. Self-learning and peer cooperation have just been talked about, and this "expert" of "expert leadership" includes not only teachers but also parents for children.
It is best to watch TV, play mahjong, dance, or stand at the door to see if the child is writing homework, but sit next to the child and read and learn together.
Now there is a popular saying: first-class parents as role models, second-rate parents as coaches, third-rate parents as nannies. I have found that among the students, all those who have developed more comprehensively and have their own ideas are more democratic and equal in the family, and parents and children are discussion-oriented, heuristic, not indoctrinated and repressive. Parents have something to discuss with their children, parents accompany their children to grow up, is a good teacher and friend. The role of this family atmosphere is subtle.
Source: Principals' Council