Today there is a parent consultation, the child in the process of learning, can not find the direction and meaning.
I made the following reply.
The answer is rushed.
After reflection, only the product is interpreted, and the problem of the child's learning motivation is not fundamentally explained.
This concludes.
If your child has problems with learning motivation, this one is enough.
01
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What is motivation to learn
First of all, everything drives the motivation of the child to complete the learning, that is, the motivation to learn.
There are two types of learning motivation:
The first, the external drive. External drive forces can be divided into two categories: pull and thrust.
The more typical pull is the reward, which corresponds to the "greed" in human nature.
The more typical thrust is punishment, which corresponds to the "fear" in human nature.
For example, when a child completes his homework, he is rewarded with ice cream, which is a reward and a pull.
The child fails the exam and the parents criticize, which is punishment and push.
I drew a diagram like this:
The external drive force has two characteristics:
1. Simple and rough, as long as there are enough rewards or fears, the child is no longer willing, and will start learning according to the will of the parents.
2. The external drive force may not be effective for a long time.
People have a peculiar function in psychology, called psychological immunity.
"It's like our body's immunity, if our body is attacked by a virus, the body will mobilize its strength to surround the virus and kill it." And in the process of enveloping the virus, the body will develop new mechanisms to deal with the virus. So we take a preventive injection is such a process, hit a trace of the virus into it, let the body establish a defense mechanism in the process of eliminating the virus, then when he encounters a large virus in the future, his body can have the method and experience to deal with it."
As long as this fear is not enough to crush him, he will develop fear immunity.
If the child is criticized and abused from an early age, as long as he can complete the self-adjustment, over time, he will no longer worry about being punished by criticism, and the punishment will not work.
In the same way, rewards also produce reward immunity. Ice cream is rewarded on the first day, hamburger on the second day, and Pizza Hut dinner on the third day.
This is why, the punishment and reward of parents, in the short term, have an effect, and in the long run, it will become boring.
At this time, we need another kind of motivation, called internal motivation.
Internal motivation, that is, children complete self-motivation and actively complete learning tasks.
02
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Where does the internal motivation for learning come from?
The biggest difference between internal power and external drive is that this thing must be something that the child wants to do.
For example, games do not require any external drive, and even with external resistance, can not shake a child's impulse to play.
Therefore, the internal power > the external driving force.
So, where does the internal motivation for learning come from?
instinct.
Instinct is a precious gift from God to all species (including humans) on earth that have survived to this day.
If a species has no instincts, then the species has been eliminated by the laws of nature.
The first priority of this instinct is survival and development.
survive. When we encounter danger, we instinctively flee and avoid, so that human beings can survive and continue.
develop. We will continue to pursue a more comfortable, happier and higher way of life, and human civilization has developed and prospered to this day.
Instinct is a physiological conditioning that has been precipitated over millions of years of evolution and engraved on human genes, and this long evolution is the reason why human society has survived and developed to this day, and this imprint is likely to continue with human society.
So first of all, to make it clear that instinct cannot be eliminated.
And instinct is much more important than we think.
Without instinct, we no longer care about food, care about reproduction, escape when we encounter danger, and yearn for ease. If this were the case, the individual's choice would no longer matter, for the entire human civilization would come to an end.
Therefore, smart parents must learn to use primitive instincts instead of rebelling against them.
03
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How to improve the internal motivation of learning
The first priority of instinct is survival and development.
So when a child decides whether to do something or not, he thinks like this:
1. What are the benefits of this thing being done?
The benefits here can be either material or spiritual.
2. What do I need to invest?
This includes time, energy, stamina, opportunity cost (if you do this, you may give up other opportunities) and so on.
3. Are there any potential risks?
For example, whether there will be penalties or losses.
This is somewhat similar to the "input-output ratio" often used in the business world.
If the input is greater than the output, then the matter is "profitable" and worth doing.
If the input is less than the output, then the matter "loses money" and does not do it.
Also, consider the payback period. The smaller the payback period, the more worth it is.
So I upgraded the four quadrants to a stereo axis.
Have you found that every time the child thinks a little before making a decision, at this time, he is thinking about this "input-output ratio".
Don't worry, because this is an instinctive reaction that a child with a normal brain will have.
If a child does not hesitate to do a thing, that thing in the child's cognition, belongs to low investment, high return, and fast return.
If a child is very resistant to a thing, that thing is highly invested, low-returned, and has a long return cycle in the child's cognition.
In their eyes, learning is:
Boring, tedious, time-consuming, painful, difficult – highly engaging
The most praise for a good test, the most criticism for a bad test - less return
Even if you want to be praised, you have to wait for the midterm exam – the feedback cycle is long
In contrast, what about games:
Stimulating, happy, low difficulty – low input
Ranks, promotions, rankings – high returns
As long as you have the ability, you can quickly get a high ranking - the feedback cycle is short
Obviously, the child is different from the parent, the child has not yet formed the correct values, so in his current cognitive level, choosing to play instead of choosing to learn is the highest "input-output ratio" he can do.
God is so interesting because He configured human beings to:
"Match the most effort-making years with the most ignorant thoughts"
04
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How to do it
You suddenly understand this sad fact:
Based on incorrect values, the child makes the choice with the largest "input-output ratio", and you have no choice.
What to do? Two methods.
Take advantage of it quickly.
Change it slowly.
Changing the child's values, in addition to the correct guidance, also requires the child's own growth, brain development, psychological maturity and other internal factors, which itself is also a choice with a "input-output ratio" that is not high.
So here it is suggested that instead of slowly changing, it is better to take advantage of the weaknesses of human nature.
How to use it?
Make the things you want your kids to engage with become low investment, high returns, and fast feedback.
Turn things you don't expect your child to participate in, become highly engaged, low-return, and slow feedback.
Take the self-directed learning system:
Only 10 minutes a day is required for children to complete – time investment is low
The slope of learning is very gentle, and the child feels simple - less energy is invested
Parents are greatly motivated by 100 points – confidence pays off quickly
After punching the clock, the ranking will appear - the feedback is fast
Points can be redeemed for prizes – high returns
There is an increase in the score of the school test – the return is high
Feel your confidence in learning pick up – the rewards are high
Of course, this is the utility we expect, and in the specific implementation process, the parent's operation and guidance are particularly important.
In addition, parents can add the following actions:
The weekly ranking is stable at the TOP30, giving children the convenience that children want.
How many points are reached in the week give certain children the reward they want.
The above two actions can also be carried out through the way of gambling, supervised by others, and willing to accept defeat, increasing interest.
Remember, it is the child who wants it, but cannot give it for free.
Of course, we are also working hard, and the next step is to add more social interaction in the self-learning system, so that children can get more feedback and rewards in the self-learning process.
"The road ahead is rough, I will go up and down and seek"
05
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Hierarchical thinking
Can children's values change?
OK.
Recommend a tool, Hierarchical Thinking.
When we make decisions, we actually think based on hierarchy.
Please take a closer look at the image below.
The vision layer is at the top, it is beyond personal identity, it is about what kind of life we want, or about our mission in life.
The identity layer is about "who I am" and involves "who I want to be" or "who I want to be."
The values layer is about "what's important" and "why it's important."
The competency layer is about my abilities, including abilities, states, strategies, and patterns.
The behavior layer is about "what I'm going to do" or "what I've already done," involving specific action steps and behaviors.
The environmental layer refers to what the environment I am in is.
The upper layer in the logical hierarchy has a guiding effect on the next layer. Changes that occur at the higher levels are bound to "radiate" downwards, resulting in corresponding changes at the lower levels.
Changes that occur at a low level may affect the high levels, but they do not necessarily happen.
So, we call the environment, behavior, and abilities the lower three (this is the level we can be aware of), and the values, identities, and visions the higher three (which is the subconscious level of things).
When we focus on behavior, we are only thinking about how to change our own habits. But if we can focus on our vision, identity, or values, our behavior will naturally change and be motivated.
For example:
Children have bad grades (environment), try not to talk about things with grades, but help analyze, what behaviors or habits (behaviors) lead to poor grades?
Children do not like to write homework (behavior), if you feel that you have not changed the teaching, you can ask where is the difficulty? (Competence)
If the child is very smart and can complete learning tasks (abilities) and just doesn't want to do it, then you can see if he hates learning (values)?
If your child is really bored with school (values), try to communicate with him in depth and ask more "who do you want to be in the future" (identity).
If your child is confused about his future(identity), be prepared to talk to him about life and mission (vision).
You see, different problems actually reflect different levels of thinking.
So, when we want to change the lower level, it is often more effective to change the higher level.
At the same time, when thinking about low-level behavior habits, we should not forget to go to a higher level to see the root causes of low-level behavior habits.
So see here, you might as well take a moment:
Talk to your child about whether you want to become an "entrepreneur", "leader" or "scientist" in the future?
What are the requirements to become this type of person?
What kind of efforts can be made to meet these conditions?
How are these efforts distributed to each stage of growth?
What's the most important thing right now?
After thinking clearly, make a "future XXX" photo, paste it on the wall, introspect yourself daily, and in the days to come, continue to strengthen and guide.
Seeing this, I hope you have something to gain.