Dear parents who love to learn, today I would like to share with you why we are in a hurry, but the children are not in a hurry at all.
The phenomenon we see today is that parents are increasingly involved in their children's education, but there are many children who are not in a hurry behind them. When I was in Hangzhou, one day a mother came to see me with her child, and this mother said to me with emotion. If he could take the college entrance examination again now, his grades might be even better than he did then, which shows that this mother, in the whole education of her children, has learned the knowledge again. But looking behind his back at his daughter with a look of arrogance and indifference. Just know that this child does not take learning seriously at all. So today we find that the proportion of such families is getting higher and higher, and parents are very hard and very worried, but children do not pay attention to learning at all. Every day there are many conflicts between parents and children, because of getting up, because of breakfast, because of reading, because of homework and so on. I even met a couple who together got four master's degrees. But raising a child who is not motivated at all, in the end the father can only solve the problem by hitting. The feeling of many parents is that they have paid such a great price and sacrifice, and the children are not appreciative at all. We can't stop watching our children learn, but our children are still in a negative generation gap, so we have to reflect on why? Why did what was originally a child's thing end up becoming a parent's business?
First of all, we know that in the science of negotiation, in the game between people, we understand a sentence, saying that whoever is anxious will lose, and who is anxious is whose business. Therefore, when the child is with the parents, the parents are very anxious, in fact, the parents must be losers, and the parents will be subject to the children.
One of our mothers came here to study, and before studying, he told her child to wake up three times a day, and the child was proud to share it with his classmates. My mom told me to wake up three times. The first time, tell me that the child is up, and you don't have to move at this time, because there is a second time. The second time was to say that it was no longer school, it was late, and it was fast. At this time, you can also not move, because there is a third time. The third time I don't get up and I beat you, and then you have to get up because my mother will really beat me. It can be seen that this mother is very emotional, so what? The child will not be able to get the child up because there are so many contradictions between the mother and the child getting up. So when this mother learned, he understood that in fact, if she was more excited, the more she was bound by the child. Know that it is your own business to seriously negotiate for your child to get up and learn from now on. At first, the child still inertia can't get out of bed. This mother shared with me a very funny thing, saying that one morning, the child came together and found that it was late. As a result, the mother also knew at the time that the child was late, because she had overslept, and as a result, the mother called the company to say that the leader was a little late for work today. Ah, and then just wait at home. As a result, when the child woke up and found that he was late, he was very anxious, grabbed the turn over, and said, Hurry up and be late for school. As a result, the mother showed a careless look and said, Oh, today I, you see I haven't eaten this breakfast, and the child urged me to go to school quickly, go to school quickly. The mother also drank the porridge slowly and slowly, ate the bun, and finally the child kept urging the state of driving crazy. So this mother was very happy to tell me afterwards that our family was finally in a hurry, and I didn't need to be so anxious. Therefore, the child will change from passive to active. So from that I want to tell you parents. At any time, whoever is angry and who is excited will be the loser. So parents, please control your emotions.
Second, the wisdom of parents is to make learning a child's business.
Please think, how to make cats fall in love with peppers?
We know that cats definitely don't eat chili peppers. Some people say three steps, the first step. It's about peeling off the cat's mouth, putting the pepper in, and the third step is to close the mouth. This method is not possible, because where there is oppression, there will be resistance. Some people say that we put peppers in the belly of the fish. In this way, when the cat eats fish, he falls in love with eating chili peppers. This method is dangerous and cheated only once. If the cat feels deceived, it may not even eat the fish next time.