How to better communicate with children, so that children can understand their own worries and ideas, I believe that every parent wants to solve the problem.
Today, we will discuss this issue.
For example, when a child goes out in the morning and is too late to eat breakfast.
Some parents may say, "Look at you, get up late again, don't eat breakfast, you do this every day, you are lazy!" ”
Such a sentence, experienced parents know, the child will also listen, can not listen to it at all, may need us to repeat it next time.
From the perspective of adults for rational analysis, this sentence expresses the parents' concern and concern for the child, but from the child's feelings, this is more of a hurtful criticism, which will not only have a great impact on the child's psychology, but also hinder the establishment of a good parent-child relationship.
In the face of such a situation, if we can change the way of expression, the child is more likely to listen to it, and it is more conducive to the development of parent-child relationship.
Effectively communicate the four "step" songs
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1
Say the event
In expressing these critical opinions, you should first explain which event you are referring to.
For example: "You got up late this morning and didn't go out for breakfast." ”
2
Say feelings
Explain your emotional state, that is, explain what emotions you are in and why you show such emotions.
For example: "I'm worried that you're not doing this well for your health." ”
Or "I'm a little angry because you promised to eat breakfast and go again, but you didn't." ”
3
Say expectations
Explain to your child what to expect from the change in behavior.
For example: "I hope you can eat breakfast every day from tomorrow onwards." ”
4
Say the reason
Explain why you want your child to do this, which can be the advantages of doing so, the benefits to the child, etc.
For example: "I believe that in this way, you will be more energetic and can grow taller!" ”
The connection is:
"You got up late this morning and didn't go out for breakfast. I'm worried that you're not doing this well for your health. So I hope you can have breakfast every day starting tomorrow. I believe that in this way, you will be more energetic and can grow taller! ”
In this way, is it milder and more expressive than the previous emotional catharsis?
Let's compare the difference between the two ways:
The first way, to convey more to the child is some of the parents' own emotions, either will dampen the child's enthusiasm for communication with the parents, or will arouse the child's confrontational emotions;
The second way is based on the event itself, which can help children understand the parents' minds and also show the children a good parent-child communication method, which is conducive to children learning how to interact well with their parents.