You educate your children, that is, you educate yourself and test your personality.
What kind of person a child will eventually become depends largely on the quality, companionship, and exemplary role of the love he receives from the first educator.
A family, even if the family is surrounded by disciples, as long as there is a father who is willing to accompany him, a mother with three correct views, and an atmosphere that attaches importance to education, it is the greatest blessing for the children.
01
It starts with companionship
Some time ago, Zhong Fangrong, a girl admitted to the archaeology department of Peking University, was on fire.
After staying in the countryside for 18 years, she was admitted to Peking University with the fourth place in the liberal arts of Hunan Province (676 points).
But with her parents gathering less and more, she couldn't help but choke up in front of the camera:
"Because I haven't called (my parents) for a long time, I only see them once a year, and I feel a little unfamiliar."
Even if she could not grow up around her parents since she was a child, Zhong Fangrong understood her parents' difficulties very well and silently carried her parents' expectations of her.
However, how many "Zhong Fangrong" are there in the world?
Children like Zhong Fangrong are actually very rare, and most children who lack companionship will only have a deep gap with their parents.
I used to know a classmate whose parents went out to work when he was very young and left him to grow up with his grandparents.
Spoiled by the older generation, he was very rebellious, often running into trouble in school, and did not study after graduating from junior high school.
I heard that he fell out with his parents later, preferring to be outside in the feng shui sun rather than return to that home.
Parents always long for family harmony and children to become talents, but if you are absent for a long time, why run a happy home and cultivate an excellent child?
Visionary parents are willing to spend time with their children.
Zeng Guofan, one of the four famous ministers of the late Qing Dynasty, successfully cultivated several generations of outstanding sons and daughters.
Because no matter how busy he is, he will spend time with his children.
Every morning, he gets up with his children, practices writing, reads, and cleans the yard.
What books the child read today, what homework he wrote, he will also ask for guidance one by one.
Because of his father's personal companionship and guidance, his sons all came out, one became a mathematician, and the other became a diplomat.
Today's parents, who don't give everything they need and want to leave the best for their children?
But one truth is often overlooked: spiritual enrichment is far more important than money.
Parents are the teachers of children's life, and the companionship of parents is the education that children need most.
This companionship not only satisfies the emotional needs of the child, but also subtly allows the child to see what kind of person his parents are and know what kind of person he wants to become.
It is better to be poor and rich than to love, and it is better to preach and roar than to accompany.
True education must begin with companionship.
02
Stuck in education
If you ask a parent: Do you want your child to be a white-eyed wolf?
The parents' answer must be: no.
However, many parents are unknowingly raising white-eyed wolves.
The first time a child fights when he goes to school, the parents turn a blind eye, and the second time they fight, the parents put the blame on the beaten child.
Then there will be a third, a fourth... One day, your child's fist will fall on you.
An international student stabbed his mother nine times with a knife because his mother could not give him money.
A 13-year-old boy smashed his parents to death with a ram's horn and fled to Dali.
A Peking University high-achieving student hid the corpse of his mother only because he hated his mother and controlled his life since he was a child.
......
Habits are like killing children, and your spoiling and indulgence are a knife hanging over a child's head.
We all have to understand that even if we love our children, we can't control him for a lifetime.
While he was still young, discipline him well and let him know what rules are and what morality is.
Otherwise, getting older will only make the child more unscrupulous and ruthless.
Parents can't always resign themselves to it, and cultivate a "giant baby" that cannot be independent.
Good children are managed, bear children are habitual.
Parents love their children, and they have far-reaching plans for them.
Truly excellent parents are willing to be "cruel" to their children.
Dong Qing said that when she was a child, she did not understand her father's strictness, in addition to reading and memorizing poems every day, she also had to run in the morning in front of the whole school, could not often look in the mirror, and had to go to the hotel to work as a cleaner during the holidays...
It wasn't until she grew up that she understood her father's good intentions.
Insisting on morning running is to let her exercise a good physique, but also to exercise her ability to withstand different eyes;
Looking less in the mirror is to make her care less about her own appearance and improve her inner body;
Cleaning is to experience the hardships of real life and learn to bear hardships and stand hard work.
"I used to hate my father's 'cruel heart', but then I found out that without him, I wouldn't be where I am today."
The child is like a blank piece of paper, and the parents are the first authors. Only with discipline and teaching can children become talents.
Educating their children well is the most important cause for parents in this life.
03
Finally three views
Remember that 13-year-old boy who raped and killed a 10-year-old girl a year ago?
He forced himself to have sex with the girl, and after encountering resistance, he beat the girl hard and stabbed her 9 times with a knife.
When the police knocked on his door with the blood stains, his mother was still wiping the blood on the floor.
The son committed a heinous crime, but the mother only wanted to cover it up, making it difficult to imagine the indifferent attitude of their family.
What kind of parents there are, what kind of children there are.
So when the boy "flaunts" his crimes in the WeChat group, his parents are helping him hide the truth;
When the boy arrogantly emphasizes that he is a minor, his parents refuse to apologize and refuse to compensate:
"I just don't apologize and don't lose money, and my son still won't come back after three years!"
Dragons give birth to dragons and phoenixes, rats raise children to make holes, and what kind of parents will raise what kind of children.
Behind every bear child, there is a bear family, a bear parent.
The educationalist Sukhomlinsky said:
"Every moment, when you see the child, you see yourself;
You educate your children, that is, you educate yourself and test your personality. ”
What the parents look like now determines the future of the child.
Only by correctly educating children can they lead their children to the right path.
When Dong Mingzhu educated his son, he always insisted that his children learn to bear hardships and stand hard work.
Once, Dong Mingzhu, who returned from a business trip, wanted to go to school to pick up her son from school, but she was worried that it would help her child's comparison psychology, so she turned around and went home.
That day, the son arrived half an hour later than usual, and Dong Mingzhu asked why, and he said:
"There is an air-conditioned bus for 2 yuan, no air conditioning as long as 1 yuan, I came back late to wait for the 1 yuan bus."
With the diligence and frugality of his mother's teachings since childhood, his son has become more and more excellent, and has long been on the same side as the outstanding mother.
Zheng Yuanjie, the king of fairy tales, once said:
"Who you are, your children are."
Parents' three views are the greatest blessing of a family, and it is also the greatest luck of children.
May all children be able to precipitate the best wealth in life under the guidance of their parents' correct three views.