01
Whether in the past or in the present, this society has never been less than "helping brothers and demons". Those women who have become the devil of the brother, their lives are tragic, they have been paying for their brothers either passively or actively all their lives. It made them lose their lives and made their lives a mess.
Those women who are willing and take the initiative to give everything for their brother, they have been indoctrinated from an early age that their brother is the most important, and she has to give everything for her brother, so in their conception, the younger brother is the most important, and the younger brother is even more important than her husband and children.
Therefore, once these brother-in-law demons are married and become a family, she will not only give all the money she earns to her brother, but she will also try to take the money earned by her husband to her brother. She felt that this was her mission, and the only one who suffered was the husband and children of the brother-in-law.
And those women who are unwilling to passively pay for their brothers, although they are different from those women whose minds have been imprisoned and only have their brothers in their minds, they still can't get rid of the fate of helping their brothers. Because of the family's wild entanglement and the family's crying and poverty, she could not completely refuse the family's request. When the family cried and asked her to take money for her brother, she wanted to refuse, but she did not know how to refuse. She would reluctantly give the money to her brother.
In this way, this mode of getting along has become a habit, and she is still the brother-in-law demon who needs to pay for her brother and sacrifice her small family for her brother.
02
Bai Jing (pseudonym) is a passive fudi demon, in fact, it is not that she wants to be a fudi demon, but every time she will be forced by her mother to subsidize her brother. And she really couldn't refuse her mother's crying.
Bai Jing was born in a patriarchal family, when her father was a child, although the family favored sons over daughters, she was also happy, because although her parents hurt her brother more, they were also very good to her.
But everything has changed since my father left. The mother only had her brother in her eyes, and only squeezed her. When going to school, the younger brother only needs to study hard and play well, and she not only needs to go to school, after school, but also to do housework, cook, and take care of her brother.
Every time she tried to resist, her mother would cry and say how hard it was to raise them alone. How difficult it is for her mother is, she knows, so every time her mother cries, she can't refuse her mother's request, every time her mother lets her do what she does, she does what she does, she feels like a soulless puppet, allowing her mother to control her life.
Later, out of society, her life was still controlled by her mother, as long as her mother cried, she habitually surrendered her weapons and surrendered, sending most of her salary to her brother. And each time, the younger brother was content to take her money and squander it at will.
For such a brother, she hated iron and steel, and she also hated, but because of her mother, she could not deny this brother. As long as she thinks about her mother's hard work in the past and the love of her parents when she was a child, she can't refuse her mother, so she has become a brother-in-law demon that everyone avoids.
When she was alone, she was the only one who was exploited, and she was the only one who suffered and was wronged, but after marriage, it became her and her husband and their children who suffered and were wronged.
She and her husband are free to love and marry, because of her brother and mother, all men are avoidant of her attitude. She thought that her life was like this, that she was really going to end up alone, but she did not expect that when she was most helpless, there was a man who was willing to tolerate her and love her.
He is Wang Qiang (pseudonym). It was raining that day, and she was kicked out because she couldn't afford to pay the rent. She called home, and her mother didn't want to listen to what she had to say and hung up. The younger brother, too, had already been paid for that month, and they knew she didn't have any money on her, so they didn't even want to answer her phone.
Just as she was crying in the rain, Wang Qiang appeared, handed her an umbrella, and was kind enough to lend her money. After that, the two people have intersected with each other. Wang Qiang did not dislike her after learning about her family's situation, but only taught her how to save herself and how to get rid of this state.
Wang Qiang saw her efforts, so the two of them naturally married. Wang Qiang thought that after Bai Jing had her own small family and her own children, she would be able to change completely and would no longer be exploited by her mother and brother as in the past. But it turns out that his idea is really too naïve, and the influence of the original family is so easy to get rid of.
After marriage, Bai Jing tried to change, and tried to get rid of the label of "helping her brother demon", but as long as her mother's attitude was tougher, or more serious, she would surrender her weapons again and take out all the money in her hands to subsidize her brother.
Wang Qiang knew this, but he couldn't rebuke Bai Jing, he could only continue to admonish her, so that she must learn to refuse next time. But Bai Jing promised to be fine every time, but once she met her mother, all the psychological construction she had done before would collapse in an instant.
In this regard, Wang Qiang can only tolerate it again and again. Wang Qiang was also disappointed by such a Bai Jing, but this was his own choice at the beginning, because he loved Bai Jing, so he accepted such a Bai Jing, thinking that Bai Jing could change, but it turned out that it was not easy to change.
Their marriage continued to be reluctantly maintained in Wang Qiang's disappointment with Bai Jing again and again, until one time, Bai Jing actually extended her hand to the child's education fund, which Wang Qiang saved for the child's grit, and he never expected that she would give this money to her brother.
He questioned her, but she said that her mother was going to kneel down and beg her, and she couldn't help it, saying that her brother was going to get engaged and needed the money, and if she didn't give it, her mother would definitely kneel for her in front of everyone.
Looking at such a Bai Jing, Wang Qiang only felt tired, he could see clearly, she could not change it, her life was like this, he could not let Bai Jing drag their children, he needed their children to grow up in a good environment, so he finally made up his mind to divorce and drove Bai Jing out.
It was not until she was divorced and kicked out of the house that Bai Jing began to repent, she was both regretful and painful, but it was too late.
At this time, her good brother even asked her for money, and said that he wanted to take the money to buy a car, saying that his mother let him come and get it. She had nothing now, it was because of her brother, her mother, that she had become nothing, and they wanted to continue to exploit her, and she only felt that she was sad and ridiculous.
From Bai Jing's deeds, we can draw two conclusions.
03
One: Do not understand rejection, often make their own life a mess.
In fact, those passive brother demons, because they do not know how to refuse, will become the younger brother's cash machine, so that their lives become a mess.
Many times, we obviously know that it is wrong to do this, and we know that it is difficult for us to do so, but thinking that the other party has been good to ourselves, thinking that it is not easy for the other party, we will not be able to refuse the other party's request, and then we will be wronged to fulfill the other party.
Of course, we sometimes choose to compromise because of the other party's nonsense, and the consequence of compromise is to wronged ourselves and make our lives a mess.
Therefore, if you don't want to become a disciple demon and make your life a mess, then you must learn to refuse, reject those unreasonable demands, and live your own life.
04
Second: Do not know how to put the small family first, often make their lives a mess.
Many people still put their mother's family first after marriage, because the mother's family is their own blood relatives, and in their hearts, the mother's family is more important than their husbands. Because the husband may become a stranger at any time, and the mother's family, that is, the blood is thicker than the water of the relatives, no matter what happens, the mother's family will always be by her side, they will always be her relatives.
Therefore, when the mother's brother comes to the door to ask for money, the woman often can't refuse, even if the money is very important to the family, she will still hand the money out without hesitation. Such a person does not know how to put the small family first, and this will make the husband and children of the family dissatisfied with her, and slowly the family's heart will be scattered. Therefore, after marriage, women must put their own small family first, only in this way can they have a happy life.
Text/No Pen