Big Bull Busy Marriage Emotional Case Series
Keywords: marriage, divorce, lover
Article length: 4400 words
Original articles, plagiarism must be investigated
Before writing this article, I found a very interesting marital problem, as follows:
Do you still believe that your lover will always love you and will not have feelings for another person?
This question comes from a question in a psychological survey questionnaire at the end of last year, under which there are three options: "yes, no, and no answer".
If you were asked to answer, which one would you choose?
It is worth saying that the conclusions of this survey are touching.
A marriage question that is so simple that 80% of people can't answer it in the first time (within 15 seconds)!
Maybe they have a clear answer in mind, but they don't know whether to answer truthfully. Most people hesitate to exceed the 15-second answer time set by the "Hidden Reading Seconds Zone".
They didn't know that the question would be quietly timed to assess the intensity of their psychological game.
After much thought, most chose No, with an average time of 43 seconds. This reflects that they had a psychological game before answering...
This is a marriage phenomenon worth exploring, especially realistic. It intuitively reflects the understanding of love and the cognition of marriage by many couples.
To put it bluntly, even some couples who have been married for many years do not believe that their lovers can withstand all the emotional tests and always maintain the original intention of love.
If one day, the other half of the marriage changes their minds, their subconscious is mentally prepared. But they don't know how to face it, and it's easy to lose their minds...
First, there is confusion in marriage, which is normal
Is this conclusion above quite heartfelt?
For many people who have come over, this is true.
Love once filled everyone's heart with expectations, it was sacred and made people desperate, but later marriages often made people doubt that love.
The reason is that romance in marriage is easy to forget, but the sadness in the relationship can be reawakened at any time. This is caused by the self-preservation logic of the human subconscious, and most people cannot change it.
Purely from a psychological point of view, when faced with those emotional problems that point directly to the human heart, no one can deceive their own hearts. But the slightest hesitation is enough to prove that your subconscious has been touched. It just shows that you have been hurt in your feelings, shed tears, and your heart has hurt, and you can't forget those things...
In addition, in today's era, the various divorce phenomena, the narration of people around them, the endless emotional disputes, and other problems have also made many people gradually have reservations about love and have suspicions about marriage in their hearts.
But please believe that in many marriages and families, this confusion is a common emotional phenomenon, and it does not necessarily mean that your marriage has encountered difficulties.
Some things cannot be changed since they happened, but marriage is still going on. All decisions are made in the service of marriage and family, and have nothing to do with experience.
Whether a marriage can still be harmonious and happy sometimes does not depend on how much sadness you have experienced and how many tears you have shed. It's not about how you think, it's about how you face it.
In the following, I will tell you about 2 short divorce cases. I will only narrate truthfully, in order to improve readability, a little collation, expound a marriage logic, the reader himself understands.
Second, the regrets of a divorced man
I remember that in a marriage case, there was a touching story, which I will sort out a little below.
A friend called me that day to talk about something, and in a few days he would go to divorce, break up with his wife, and never reconcile.
I was surprised that he and his wife had been lovers as early as when they were students. After marriage, the husband and wife have always had a good relationship, both have 2 children, how can they suddenly divorce?
After all, it was a good buddy, and I had to ask him to come out for a meal and find out what was going on.
That day I advised him: Your wife was so good to you, and the brothers were envious of you. Life is good, what marriage are you divorced, which tendon is wrong?
He said: I hate her so much that I get upset when I see that face. I don't want to spend time with her, I don't bother me without her, I can be dashing wherever I go, there is no shortage of women...
We pushed the cups and changed the cups, and listened to him talk as we drank.
Maybe it was too much drinking, he said as he suddenly cried, almost crying red-eyed. He said I didn't understand the pain in his heart, and there were some things I couldn't say. In short, do not listen to persuasion, this marriage divorced.
In my eyes, he was a very optimistic, confident person, and had never been so decadent.
I suddenly felt that with him as a person, how could he abandon his wife for no reason? Maybe something is about his dignity, even if he is divorced, he has to hide it.
I guessed the nature of the problem and was suddenly touched. Maybe I really don't understand his pain, but I've experienced that pain...
A few years ago, my wife cheated and got divorced every day. I forgave her again and again and did not dare to leave her. She didn't relent and treated the man as true love.
For more than a year, my heart was like a knife. It wasn't until the man remarried with his ex-wife that my wife realized that no one had ever thought of marrying her.
After being abandoned, the wife's personality changed. She no longer dared to lose her temper with me and live her life with all her might.
She rehabilitated herself, and no one knew she had given me a hat. But I felt like I had a thorn in my heart, and I was worried about this matter, but I didn't dare to take it to the table and say...
I drank too much that day and turned to my friends about my heartache. Originally, I persuaded him, but unconsciously it became him persuading me.
He said: We have experienced almost the same, I didn't expect your wife to hurt you. Brother advises you, since your wife has relented, your life can still be lived, forget that, don't learn from me. I really can't get over it, my wife divorced me, and said that she was blind and married me...
Why didn't my wife say these things to me?
Some emotional problems, facing alone may be powerless. When I saw my friend's determination, I suddenly had a backbone and felt that I was living too cowardly. I suddenly wanted to divorce as a way to prove my dignity.
Back home, I did not continue to be silent, deliberately exposing my wife's short, old things again, forcing her to divorce. Even if she cried and said that I wanted to force her to die, I didn't have a soft heart and had to leave!
I slapped her a few times that day and told her not to disgust me anymore. Otherwise, I'll let her family know what she's done!
Who would have thought that after a few days of arguing, she would quietly take the medicine. She died before we could divorce, and the person who hurt me the most was me...
Now that I think about it, how ridiculous was my decision?
Since I have forgiven her, why should I take revenge on her? If I don't want to forgive her, why did I cry and beg her when she forced me to divorce in the first place...
I want to understand that if I don't persuade my friends, if I don't face the pain and struggle in my heart, if I don't reawaken that hidden hatred, we may be happy as a family now.
I know men want dignity, but now I really regret it, I'd rather not have dignity...
The above case is the story of a man in the middle of last year whose spirit was hit because of the death of his ex-wife. So far, he should still be depressed, 2 children are cared for by their parents.
Logically speaking, he is right not to forgive his wife, and he should not forgive in the first place. He was right to file for divorce, and no man can endure this frustration all the time.
But from the perspective of married life, everything depends on the facts. He did regret it, and for him personally, continuing to be silent might be a little better.
This case tells you that emotional problems need to be calm, a person in a situation, there is no absolute logic, just follow the heart.
In a world of people, in the face of some emotional distress, many people regret it precisely because they have made choices imposed by others and have not followed their true thoughts.
Third, do not be mentally prepared, do not easily make up your mind
I've written a lot about marriages over the past few years, most of which have been related to divorce.
In the case of the phenomenon of marriage, which is "extramarital affection", this is a common reason for ordinary couples to divorce.
The same emotional problems, different people have different means of dealing with it. Sometimes the starting point is different, and the results are naturally different.
For example, in the second half of last year, there was an intriguing divorce case, and I briefly sorted it out.
The woman found that her husband and ex-girlfriend were too close, and further observation found that they had long been "reconciled". I learned from my husband's cell phone that they had gone to the hospital together to check if they were pregnant.
The woman was angry and asked her husband to explain.
The husband did not argue and confessed all his mistakes. My ex-girlfriend is divorced, she complains to me every day, I can't help but accompany her a few times...
Although the woman had already guessed it, it still made her grief-stricken. She could not forgive her husband and angrily filed for divorce.
The husband pleaded with the woman: I was wrong, not on purpose. As long as you forgive me, I'll never see my ex again. Give me a little dignity, give me a chance, and I still want to live a good life with you.
Although the woman scratched her husband's face, she still couldn't suppress the anger in her heart. The husband is willing to beat him, but the more the woman thinks, the more angry she is.
For 3 days, the husband and wife quarreled without stopping. Women beat and punched, scolded and scolded. She shouted divorce in order to let her husband remember the lesson forever.
Logically, she didn't want a divorce, just shouted. She was just too angry, too aggrieved, and felt that the punishment was not strong enough.
On day 4, the husband and wife quarreled again. The husband still let her scold, and the woman is still angry after the scolding.
Maybe it was hearing her husband defend her ex-girlfriend, and the woman was confused. She gambled to go to her husband's ex-girlfriend's company and make a big fuss, to make her lose her reputation and faceless.
The woman took out a few photos and threw them at her husband's ex-girlfriend's colleagues to show them the good deeds this divorced woman had done, and let them know that this immoral woman slept with her husband...
As women go to a big fight, the rift in the marriage is completely made public, and it is impossible to repair it.
Her husband's ex-girlfriend was indeed pregnant with a child, and she had planned to give up and stop pestering. But by the woman so noisy, she chose to fight to the end, forcing men to choose one of the two.
Marriage feelings suddenly complicated, the husband simply had a heart, broken jars and broken. Not only did he no longer apologize to the woman and admit his mistake, but instead filed for divorce. He did not come home for 3 consecutive days and accompanied his ex-girlfriend every day.
At this time, the woman realized that this matter could not be ended, and she did not expect to make such a scene.
When her husband finally turned his face to her, she realized that she was the most vulnerable person. In the face of divorce, she cried and cried, but her husband divorced with an iron heart.
The strong and weak relationship in the marriage is instantly reversed, and the woman becomes the weak party.
In order to prevent her husband from divorcing, the woman went to her husband's ex-girlfriend to get revenge, and then went to her parents' house, and finally committed a crime.
Her child is only 4 years old, and when she comes out, the child will be at least 10 years old, and she may not know her by then. On the other hand, because she made too much trouble, her husband was dismissed by the unit, the iron rice bowl was gone, and the growth of the child was also affected...
Analyzing this marriage case, is the woman at fault?
She is not wrong, there is a debt and a master, and the two punish together to relieve the anger.
But from a life perspective, her attitude is contradictory. She didn't expect the consequences, and that was her fault.
From her husband's moral problems to the legal consequences she had to bear, she certainly regretted it. It is not right to pay for the mistakes of others.
There are many similar marriage cases, and most people who are not calm regret it. It is not so much for dignity and revenge as it is for the sake of mental preparation.
In the face of grief in marriage, no matter how much anger you have, how much sorrow and confusion you have, it is best to be rational. If you don't have a good idea of how it will end up, don't rush to make a decision.
At the critical moment, think about what you want, do you really want a divorce?
Fourth, the emotional problem is not "either or not"
If some emotional problems must be faced and answered with facts, the sudden conclusion is often very heartfelt.
In the accounts of many people who have come over, marriage seems to be a divine arrangement, not what you want to do. But a lot of times, you have to do that.
The question is, since it is "forced", what else is there to gain and lose? Anger is useless, grievance is useless, so why keep punishing yourself?
I can only say that I still haven't figured it out. Either compromise or say goodbye, in short, don't drag the mud and water.
In the face of some heartfelt emotional questions, it does not matter how to answer them, what matters is whether you really think like that in your heart, whether you really do that, whether you really have no regrets?
Think carefully about the question: Why do many people no longer believe in love, but they pay a heavy price for love?
One of the main reasons is that many people can't even do it themselves, and they always think of another member of the opposite sex in their minds. They themselves cannot be absolutely loyal to love, and how dare they believe that their lovers can always keep their original intentions?
Extending this logic, many people think that they can be sorry for love and marriage, but the other half cannot.
To put it bluntly, I can find a lover, you can't, in fact, this is selfish. Because of selfishness, there will be many difficult problems in marriage. Once it appears, it will be inescapable.
Therefore, what everyone can do is to cherish themselves, respect love, respect marriage, respect family, respect their personality and dignity.
When facing the choice, we must understand that the problem of marital feelings is not a question of "either yes or no", but a kind of unclear feeling.
Logically, it is not a problem, it is the real marital state of many people, except acceptance, there is no choice. Life is so realistic, the more perfect you think about many things, the more sad it is when you encounter problems.
There is a fire in everyone's heart, which is the light and heat of hope. But there will always be a bit of wind and rain in life, and its purpose is to extinguish your fire.
Recognize this, and don't be too pessimistic. The division of fate is just like life is like life, just like love is like marriage.
Maybe the world is not big enough, maybe the dream is too far away, always unconsciously, many people have become involuntary, duplicitous people. So they are confused, wronged, and make mistakes because they are wrong.
After all, life is realistic, and when you can't judge, be the most authentic version of yourself. Marriage is a part of life, there are joys and sorrows, there are sorrows and joys, go over, that is the past.
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