People of the older generation often advise us to be generous as human beings.
"Generosity" became a very good character, and it was also dictated and passed on from generation to generation.
However, many bottomless "generosities" are aiding and abetting abuse, which is not good for themselves, and they are hurt everywhere.
There is a saying that goes: "Your generosity must grow teeth, otherwise it is weak and incompetent." ”
People have reached fifty, experienced the storms of life, seen a lot of faces, how to live the second half of life, respect their own wishes, do not be forced into a dead end.
Put away your "generosity", be appropriately selfish, and life will be smooth.
01
The life of a child is good to watch, don't cross the line.
Leaving a hand in front of the children seems unspeakable. How can a parent's love for his children be selfish?
When you're fifty years old, your children have just grown up and entered society. Their lives have not yet taken shape, if you help them too much and protect them everywhere, it will make them feel that life is too easy, so that the dependence on their parents is very serious.
The saplings that grow in the wind and rain can survive the cold winter; the saplings in the greenhouse will be injured if they are taken out. By comparison, we know how to cultivate saplings.
The ancients said, "In order to say that Ciwu can feed back, we should teach the birds to curse the Yi people." ”
Annoying crows know how to be grateful, how can some people not even be as good as crows?
Don't think that children are not out of the ordinary, do not understand gratitude, they are bad at learning, often their parents are accustomed to it, and the responsibility lies with their parents.
There is a story in "The Surprise of the First Shooting": During the Zhengde period of the Ming Dynasty, in Songjiang Province, there was a Yan old man who only got a son at the age of thirty. He has always regarded his son as a prince.
When my son grew up, he was lazy and lazy, and he also liked to gamble very much. Old Man Yan was very angry and pulled his son out of the poker game. The son punched the old man in the face, missing all his teeth.
In order to discipline his son, Old Man Yan sued his son to the gate and made his son's bad deeds public.
Although the father and son turned their faces because of this, the son has since relented a little, and later thanked his father for his kindness.
Don't make cattle and horses for your children; you have to rely on yourself for the elderly. As a parent, you must keep the bottom line of money, and don't spoil and cultivate losers. When you can't walk, everything requires children, it depends on the face.
There are some detours, children have to go, you just have to watch, strengthen the guidance on the line, do not make a big deal.
02
Relatives and friends things, some occasions on the line, do not pay too much.
There is a kind of person who, at the age of fifty, has no friends and takes the initiative to break off relations with relatives.
Perhaps, you think that such a person is ruthless and unjust, and lives a very lonely life. In fact, they live well, but they look down on human feelings, narrow their circles, and get used to being alone.
Zhihuli, netizen "Duan Mo" told a story: his relatives called and arranged for him to borrow tens of thousands of yuan to his uncle. Relatives said anxiously that the uncle owed a lot of gambling debts, desperate, the aunt also divorced, hurry, save people important.
This netizen categorically refused to borrow money.
During the New Year, relatives gathered together and talked about borrowing money. The mother said that they had their own small family, and they had children to support, and the family had a lot of money. The aunt said that they spend a lot of money, why do they often travel? Why buy a big house?
Is it particularly speechless? The money you have worked so hard to earn, whether you borrow it or not is your own business, why do you want relatives and friends to teach? What's more, instead of paying off gambling debts for others, this is not - meat buns hit dogs, there is no return?
When you are fifty years old, your life has a certain improvement, but you should not think that you have great ability to rush forward with relatives and friends. You can't save "sentient beings."
For relatives and friends, you should treat each other coldly, just look at it, distinguish the situation, and then decide whether to help. If your relatives and friends don't understand you and are still embarrassed by you everywhere, you will see each other less in the future, so as not to listen to gossip.
03
In the workplace, don't give in to each other, cherish your achievements.
A lot of units, attitude towards old staff, not very friendly. When you are fifty years old, you will be considered a "useless idle person", and the previous credit will be invisibly ignored.
There are also leaders who will do work for you: "At this age, let it go and give young people more opportunities." ”
You must understand that concessions are ok, but there must be additional conditions - the treatment can not be less.
Some people, inexplicably, lost their positions and lost their corresponding income at the same time. When I retired, I found that the pension was also less, and there was a lot of trouble.
Many units, retirement things, and positions, levels, identities are closely linked. You should observe the situation of the unit over the years and pay attention to the "lessons learned from the past".
As the saying goes, "There is no merit, there is hard work." "Don't be too generous in the workplace. You have to think more about it in the future, and you can't just leave the unit casually.
Worked for most of my life, don't get to the end, a chicken feather.
04
People who have hurt you, don't forgive easily, learn to turn your face.
There is a poet named Yu Xiuhua. She was not favored by her parents since she was a child. When she graduated from junior high school, she scored more than 420 points, and her brother scored 467, but she dropped out of school and her brother went to high school.
Later, she got married under the arrangement of her parents.
The husband is a very irresponsible person who ignores his family.
In order to get a divorce, she and her husband engaged in a long tug-of-war. One day, she called her husband: "Divorce this month is 150,000, next month, it is 100,000." ”
Took out all the fees and gave them to her husband. She is finally free and has the opportunity to find true love.
Someone said: "For those who hurt themselves, one forgiveness is generosity, the second time is tolerance, and the third time is a sinner." ”
On the road of life, there are always some people who make you very uncomfortable, take away your benefits, and hurt your heart. You can not retaliate, but you must be careful - don't get rid of the scars and forget the pain.
A person who takes pain as a force to spur life will be able to stay away from rotten people and really live their own lives in the future. If someone adds to your block once, it will always be only once, and there will be no next time.
05
The more a person lives, the smoother he becomes, he begins by learning to be "selfish."
You don't think much about yourself, but expect others to pull you forward and take you to eat and drink, which is simply whimsical.
If you want the world to be gentle with you, then be kind to yourself. God can't save a man who "doesn't love himself."
People over fifty, the second half really began, there are always too many surprises, waiting for you.
Keep your money and live with confidence.
Successful retirement, live with hope.
Let go of socializing and live more freely.
Stay away from harm and live warmer.
May your generosity have a scale; may your selfishness have a temperature.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.