01
There is an emotional topic on Weibo, which is worth exploring: how to communicate with her husband after five years of marriage.
There is a blogger who sent his daily life with her husband, the first scene is her husband playing a game, she said that she is going to go out to let her husband brush the bowl, dry the clothes, come back at night to cook and eat by himself, said a lot, the husband is selectively deaf. It wasn't until she said, "I'm going to buy you a 3090 graphics card," that her husband turned his head and said, "Really?" This reaction indicates that it is not that you did not hear, but that you are not interested in what you say, and that the automaticity is ignored.
The second scene is her husband squatting in the toilet and not coming out, until she hits his pain point, "even shi can't pull out, what kind of man are you", and the next second her husband directly comes out, "Who do you say you are".
The third scene is her husband lying in bed, she picks up the phone to chat with friends about the gossip about who cheated, and her husband rushes to her ear, "Who cheated."
I don't think it's funny at all after watching this video, in fact, men can hear what women are saying a lot of times, but he doesn't want to respond, he is like a child, interested in listening, not interested in automatically ignoring. It is not appropriate to say that some men are like children, after all, some men are very lazy in marriage, but even their own children are not as good.
I flipped through the comments below the video, and some netizens have the same view as me: I can't laugh out loud after watching it, but I feel a little afraid of marriage after watching it, this video is not funny at all, I am experiencing it, and I am suffocating. I don't think it's funny at all, is this kind of married life what everyone is looking forward to.
More netizens said bluntly: I can't laugh out, like raising a son who can't take care of himself.
In a word, some women do live themselves as "mothers" in marriage, and her relationship with her husband is like the relationship between "sons and mothers". But the husband is respectful and filial to his own mother, and he will not treat his daughter-in-law like this, but will only selectively ignore it, very rebellious.
This video has sparked a hot discussion on the Internet, here we explore a topic: how do we communicate with our husbands in marriage?
Women are more or less looking forward to their husbands, expecting their husbands to share with themselves, but there are also a small number of men, they are immature, don't look at the age, but the psychological age is extremely naïve, their thinking is also very decaying, think that marrying a wife is to take care of themselves, before marriage they are used to having the care of their mothers, after marriage they rely on the care of their wives.
What should I do with this part of the men?
First of all, you must have a consciousness yourself: he is your husband, not a child, so don't care too much about him, you can explain your position to him, let him do his own things, he doesn't do you will not help him do, don't rely on you for everything.
02
Talk about my own marriage.
I have been married for six years, and the relationship with my husband is still OK, and I am more in the marriage to manage myself, less about his affairs. Before, my husband habitually piled the socks and underwear in a corner, put the smelly socks and underwear together, I was also very incomprehensible, the change of clothes will not be taken to wash by hand? Why do you have to pile it up there for days? And he would never wash his socks and underwear by hand, but tucked them directly into the washing machine.
This made me very unbearable, how dirty, but he didn't think, he thought the washing machine could wash clothes, why can't he wash socks and underwear?
I can't understand his mindset. At first, I would take it and help him wash it, but then I stopped doing it, "do my own things, these most basic things, why should I rely on my wife's help?" I just managed myself, and there was no need to take care of him, so later I automatically ignored his stinky socks and underwear, and I didn't see it, so I didn't see it.
Later, once he came out of the shower to find clothes to wear, he asked me, "Wife, what about my socks?" Wife, my underwear is gone." At this time, I slowly raised my head and scolded him: "Take a good look at yourself, you piled it up there and haven't washed it until now." ”
"You too, won't you help me wash it?" He complained.
"Have you washed my underwear for me?" I am pregnant and confinement to give birth, and I have always washed my own underwear. How many times have I washed you, these are the most basic things that belong to you personally, why let others do it for you? Even though I'm your wife, I'm not your mom. ”
I made it very clear that he had suffered a dumb loss, and later, he would take the initiative to stuff his stinky socks and underwear into the washing machine. He washes his, I wash mine, anyway, my underwear and underwear are washed by hand, as long as it doesn't get dirty to me. If you want to open it, you won't feel diaphragm.
And the fact that he often can't find his own socks?
I told him directly, "Put away your own clothes, if you throw them everywhere, you don't blame me for losing them." ”
Men also have to act like adults in marriage, rather than counting on their wives for help. I also work, I have to take care of two children, I am not idler than him, why do I have to masochistically make myself a? How tired, so I am determined not to let myself be such a woman.
There is also the stinky problem that he does not brush his teeth and does not wash his feet at night, which also makes me nag for many years. I can't stand not washing my feet, I also wear leather shoes to go out on hot days, how smelly, as soon as he comes back I smell the smell, I will kick him: "Wash your feet, how smelly, didn't you smell it?" ”
He scrambled and hurried away.
Now that he's moving to a new house, he spends more time sleeping in the same room with my son, so I don't care if he washes his feet or not. Anyway, it doesn't stink on my own, it's not my own discomfort, and when he can't stand it any day, he will take the initiative to wash it. Brushing his teeth is also, I don't urge him now not to say him, he will take the initiative to brush his teeth. If there is bad breath, I will never let him come near me, can't stand it, can't stand it.
My way of getting along with my husband: I will not urge him, this aspect of personal habits is his own business, he will not be able to stand it one day, I can't see the heart and don't nag, everything depends on him to take the initiative to do it.
In marriage, each of us must take care of ourselves, learn to deal with our relationship with ourselves, and don't think about relying on our partners for everything. Everyone is busy, you are busy and I am busy, even if I am your wife, the part is not that I have to take care of you, but that I take care of myself.
03
Someone might say to me, "You're so unvirtuous, be careful that your husband doesn't love you." ”
Oh, if a man needs a nanny, then he does not marry a wife, find a nanny is not enough; if you only become a nanny in your marriage your husband will love you with all his heart, then you are really humble, and you have no right to speak.
Men have always really loved someone who is relatively equal to him, not a woman who will only take care of him.
How many times have I said, don't let yourself become a babysitter in your marriage, but try to run yourself well. They won't appreciate you no matter how well you take good care of a man, they will only feel that your value is there, equating your value with a nanny, don't you feel humble?
I can understand and understand him, but I will not help him with everything, because everyone is hard, you are tired, I am more tired than you, I am not idle, as an adult have their own difficulties. Because of this, don't cause trouble for your partner, take care of yourself, this is what you should be able to do well.
Take last night, my husband can come home without thinking about looking at his mobile phone and get ready to go to bed, and I have to take care of my daughter and my son.
He initially complained to me that I didn't tell my child to sleep, which caused him to be late for work in the morning. I just scolded him: "Won't you take care of your son?" Don't spend all day my son my son, who said that the son is yours and the girlfriend is mine? Do you have time to brush your phone every day and don't have time to coax your son to sleep? Don't blame me for being late for work, don't pile the responsibility on me, and bear your own responsibility. I'm just like you, I have work to do, more than you do. ”
When the words were said, he was embarrassed to push my son's matter on me.
Originally, I brought a lot of children, and in the matter of children, he was not qualified to argue with me.
It's supposed to take on a little bit, not everything is my fault.
In addition, I am not worried about the deterioration of our feelings, I can manage my own life, read and write with good children, if I work so hard to be so good, one day he still does not want this home, it is his own "doing", two people are good to get together and disperse on the line, to see if he will change people better.
I gave myself the confidence in the marriage, because I can afford to raise my own children, and I know very well that I am his best partner, but if he is not satisfied with him, it means that this man is no longer worth my need.
Therefore, many women want to open up on their own, don't raise their husbands as sons, you turn yourself into a nanny into a mother, you will gradually be disappointed in marriage, disappointed in your husband, you are not happy at all.
It is better to be free, run yourself well, and don't be afraid that your husband does not love you, because your value is never defined by the love of men, but by yourself.
Today's topic: Do you raise your husband as a son in marriage? Welcome to leave a message.
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★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing about the warm emotional affairs of this world.