01
There is a poetry cloud: "This love is separated by mountains and seas, and mountains and seas can be leveled." ”
In fairy tales, all love can cross mountains and seas without any difficulty. It's like a pavilion, so beautiful that it makes us all feel excited.
But can this so-called pavilion really become a reality? I think that what is illusory is always illusory. And the reality is always cruel.
We always feel that love represents the purest side of the world, and marriage represents the most sacred ceremony on earth. But we all forget that all the pure and the sacred are particularly susceptible to being "defiled."
Bai Juyi said that most of the good things are not firm, and the clouds are easy to scatter and the glass is brittle.
The more beautiful things are, the less solid they are. The more fascinating love is, the easier it is to lose to reality. Marriage, in particular, in the face of money, is left with suspicion and strife.
Between people, why can't we emphasize feelings over interests? Because human nature is selfish. Everyone has the most selfish side, which dooms mutual giving in love, and will not become a reality after all.
To borrow a phrase: "Love under words is like a cloud in the sky." Love in reality, like a chicken rib, is really ridiculous. ”
02
"The husband's monthly salary is 30,000, and he only gives his wife 5,000, a piece of chicken feathers."
Some time ago, a reader in the background told me about her marriage experience, the past green plum bamboo horse, now only mutual suspicion. The husband who once loved now only has money left in his eyes, and there is not much "love".
The reader, Miss Zhang, is 33 years old this year and has two children to take care of and simply cannot work. There is no way, she can only become a stay-at-home mother, and all the expenses and pressures are borne by her husband.
Miss Zhang's husband, Mr. Chen, is now 36 years old, a programmer of an Internet company, with an income of nearly 30,000, but the work intensity is particularly large, and 996 is basically his normal work.
Moreover, this year's environment is particularly bad, and Mr. Chen is also at risk of being dismissed. It can be said that once Mr. Chen is unemployed, the mortgage will not be repaid, and life will immediately become tight.
As a wife, Miss Zhang, of course, also understands that her husband is not easy, but she cannot make money, and can only take care of the family, take care of the children, and let him have no worries.
However, the only thing that made her unable to accept it was that her husband only gave her 5,000 yuan a month for the family. In Miss Zhang's view, he has a salary of 30,000 yuan, only gives his wife 5,000 yuan for the family, and then deducts tens of thousands of yuan of mortgages, and there is a surplus of 13,000 yuan, what did he keep?
As a result, she suspected that her husband had thoughts of infidelity.
03
People, as long as they don't have a job and don't trust their lovers enough, they will think wildly.
Under the analysis of a group of girlfriends, Miss Zhang felt that although the husband of the girlfriend did not earn much, 8,000 yuan per month, he handed it all over to his wife. His husband earns so much, why only give 5,000 yuan? The more she thought about it, the angrier she became.
There are also some girlfriends who advise Miss Zhang, this man is not good, or it is best to divorce him, so live a life, can you still live?
Miss Zhang also did not know how to be good. In the case of helplessness, she could only have a showdown with her husband, telling him to hand over at least 10,000 yuan a month, and even threatening Mr. Chen with children.
When Mr. Chen returned home after working overtime for 4 consecutive days, he wanted to have a good rest. However, his wife's inquiries, as well as a bunch of requests, made him feel particularly annoyed. So the quarrel arose.
Miss Zhang, who felt particularly wronged, cried. After that day, she ran back to her mother's house with her two children.
When Mr. Chen woke up, he learned of this incident and directly called his wife to continue arguing. In his opinion, why can't the wife be considerate of herself? The pressure of this mortgage, the pressure of parents' pension, all need to be borne by themselves, and you do not make money, why are you still thinking wildly?
To this day, the two are still in the cold war, and the husband still gives 5,000 yuan a month, but the two sides still have no intention of reconciling.
04
Who do you think did something wrong in this case? I think no one is wrong and no one is right. Because of the characteristics of "human nature and selfishness", every marriage is doomed to have contradictions.
The wife feels that she has to take the child and it is not easy. And the husband also feels that it is not easy for him to work continuous overtime. Neither of these two sides knows how to understand each other, so doesn't the tragedy of marriage appear?
Some emotional analysts have said that everyone will only think about problems from their own standpoint, while no one will think about problems from the perspective of others, which will become the source of frequent relationship contradictions.
Why can't we all think from each other's point of view?
Because everyone only cares about their own interests, they only care about their own position. Take Miss Zhang and Mr. Chen in the above article, one side feels that the other party is disloyal, and the other side feels that it is very stressful, then naturally it can only argue endlessly.
Marriage is defeated by selfishness and by suspicion.
If you want to make the marriage long, then both men and women should not "compete with each other", but need you to respect me, I respect you. You understand my hardships, and I understand your hard work. Both sides know how to be grateful, that is the way to get along for a long time.
However, in today's impetuous people's hearts and turbid marriage atmosphere, understanding is ultimately a luxury.
Wen/Shushan has deer