After the husband cheats, most women consider family, children, economy and other factors, forgive their husbands, and strive to save their husbands.
However, after the husband returns to the family and changes his mind, many wives feel that the husband is like a stranger, do not know how to get along, the two often quarrel over trivial matters, and finally go back to the issue of infidelity, hurting the feelings of the husband and wife.
Husband and wife quarrels in married life is a normal thing, quarrels can often reveal the contradictions between husband and wife, if handled properly, can continue to clear the obstacles to the marriage forward, promote the healthy development of marriage.
◎So, how do you get along with a husband who has cheated and returned? Especially when he intentionally or unintentionally provokes a conflict and argues with you, as a wife, how to deal with it? How to argue with him skillfully? Guangzhou psychological counseling for you to support.
1
First, discuss things as they are, do not expand, do not give play
No matter what reason he finds to quarrel with his wife, he will definitely find a reason, and when quarreling, the wife must remember to discuss the matter of the quarrel he proposed, not to expand the matter, to rise to a category of things, not to play, and to vent from here and there, even if he intends to expand and play, he must brake in time, and it is not his deception.
2
Second, do not reveal the scars, do not mention the past, do not investigate deeply
When the husband cheats, the woman may feel that her self-confidence, sense of security, and sense of trust are all ruined.
When arguing with her husband, many wives often like to "calculate the old account and the new account together", it seems that they have spoken out their grievances and vented their emotions, but it is easy to make the husband's original little guilt in her heart disappear, and he even feels that his wife always holds on to his past, once the contradiction escalates, the result may be that he broke the jar and broke it.
Therefore, no matter how sensitive and suspicious you are, you must also find a way to convince yourself to believe in him, not to reveal the scars, not to mention the past, not to investigate deeply.
The more she believed in him, the more he would try his best to restrain himself for the sake of her trust and respect, and did not dare to be arrogant in front of her.
3
Third, learn to express your inner feelings
In quarrels, many wives will complain and rebuke their husbands, which is easy to put the husband in the role of "perpetrator", making the other party feel very uncomfortable and not easy to accept.
At this time, you may wish to change the perspective, the wife can try to tell him the real feelings of her heart when arguing, such as feeling sorry for him, looking at him looking uncomfortable, and so on.
In doing so, they not only did not vent their emotions on each other, but also expressed their true feelings, and also brought each other closer.
4
Fourth, regardless of right or wrong, only talk about feelings
There is no absolute right or wrong in marriage, and there is no real loss or win.
Husband and wife quarrel, but also need to talk about feelings, rather than have to quarrel high and low, win or lose, right or wrong, once found that any party quarrel to the "extreme", "sad point", etc., before the "collapse" and "outbreak", may wish to avoid the front, you can choose to leave the quarrel scene, divert attention, divert the topic, etc., or learn to bow your head.
You know, if you win the truth, it is easy to lose feelings, but it is not worth the loss.
If you learn to admit defeat and not to entangle, you can win back your feelings, so that the storm that was originally coming will turn into a spring breeze and drizzle to nourish each other and nourish your marriage.
5
Fifth, control emotions, do not hurt self-esteem and personality
In the process of quarreling, many couples often have no cover-up, they can't help but play tricks, curse the mother, curse to death, what hurts self-esteem, hurt personality words are out, in fact, this will only harm others and harm themselves, not only hurt each other's hearts, but also hurt the harmony of marriage.
6
6. Contradictions between husband and wife shall be resolved only between husband and wife
If parents often quarrel in front of their children, the children will feel sad, blame themselves, and think that it is their own fault, resulting in the child's insecurity and leaving a shadow in the young mind.
If you quarrel in front of the elderly, it will also make the elderly feel irritable, and it is likely to rise to a family war.
Therefore, for the sake of the growth of the child, for the sake of family harmony, the contradictions between husband and wife, no matter how big and how deep, try to solve it only between husband and wife, with the method of husband and wife.
7
7. Avoid sexual revenge after quarrels
Sex is a very important part of the couple, after the quarrel of the appropriate conjugal life, is a good way to let the couple down the fire.
But unfortunately, in reality, many couples will use sex to retaliate against each other after quarrels, husbands take sexual violence and sexual venting to retaliate against their wives after quarrels, wives are angry after quarrels and do not allow their husbands to touch themselves for a period of time, and use sex to force their husbands to admit their mistakes...
And these sexual violence, although in a short period of time to make people feel the pleasure of revenge, but also deteriorated the relationship between each other, so that the husband and wife from "hot" quarrels deteriorated into "cold" violence, the contradiction not only did not solve, but also deepened the contradiction between the husband and wife.
Conclusion of Guangzhou Psychological Counseling:
Marriage is not a lifetime without quarrels, but quarrels can also live a lifetime, quarrels are sometimes a small wave that makes the marriage swing double oars, but if the husband and wife do not pay attention to it, do not know how to resolve it in time, it will make these small waves slowly accumulate more and more, and one day it will become a big wave and impact the marriage.
This requires couples to learn the art of running marriage, know how to learn how to get along with husband and wife, and can resolve small conflicts and major conflicts in time.
▼