Click below to follow "Child-friendly science theory"
Learn scientific parenting knowledge for free
Love child science said
This public account focuses on scientific parenting, which is dominated by top experts at home and abroad, with unique views and scientific authority, and is an essential parenting guide for mothers. For more scientific parenting knowledge, please pay attention to the science of loving children.
Official account
The official account has been banned
Love child science said
This public account focuses on scientific parenting, which is dominated by top experts at home and abroad, with unique views and scientific authority, and is an essential parenting guide for mothers. For more scientific parenting knowledge, please pay attention to the science of loving children.
Official account
The official account has been banned
Social competition and life pressure are increasing, many women after giving birth, before the maternity leave is over, they have to continue to work, there is no time at home with children.
So in most cases, it is the mother-in-law who helps to bring the baby, but in recent years, more and more mothers-in-law are reluctant to help with the baby, and the reason behind it is very sad.
Mother-in-law with baby is the norm
"Who is your family with the baby", "Who else can there be, my mother-in-law", "My family is also a mother-in-law with a baby", when friends talk about who brings the baby, the answer is basically "mother-in-law with baby", because the pressure of young people now is too much.
Even if it is a relatively high income group, it is difficult to support a family alone, so women also need to work to supplement the family, and the burden of carrying a baby naturally falls on the mother-in-law.
Sometimes walking in the neighborhood, you will often see a group of mothers-in-law with their children gathered together to chat, in addition to praising each other's children for their good looks.
The most talked about is the work of the children and why they bring their babies. A mother-in-law asked a question, "Why do you bring a baby", and everyone's answer is nothing more than these words: "The children are too tired, the work has just started to pay the mortgage, I can't afford to pay, I can only help with the grandchildren", "All at this age."
I don't want to toss it, now it's the stage for young people, we as mothers-in-law should be a good stepping stone for our children, to solve their worries about bringing their babies", "idle at home is also idle, help with children, children are less stressful".
From the dialogue of several mothers-in-law, it can be seen that the original intention of the elderly to help bring a baby is for the children, because young people have no time, no energy, no ability to take the baby, and the mother-in-law can just fill the vacancy of the candidate with the baby, so the mother-in-law with the baby is also the norm.
More and more mothers-in-law are reluctant to help with the baby
Mother-in-law with a baby seems to be the joy of two generations of grandchildren, but with the growth of time with the baby, the relationship between the mother-in-law and the children will also change because of the baby, because of the gap in parenting concepts and cognition.
There will be a lot of generation gap between the two generations for the matter of taking children, the longer the time, the more profound the contradiction, and the elderly will rarely "talk back" with their children, and what grievances are held in the psychology.
If it were not for the face of the child, he would have long wanted to pick a child back to his hometown, so more and more mothers-in-law are unwilling to help with the baby.
Mother-in-law to help with the baby is the norm, mother-in-law is not willing to help with the baby is also a trend, causing this change is the communication style and attitude between the children and the mother-in-law.
Mother-in-law's 3 points of sadness and helplessness
1. Kindness is rejected
As the saying goes, "the next generation of relatives, close to the heart", the mother-in-law's concern for the child is not inferior to the biological parents, the mother-in-law will also do her best to give the baby the best things, although these things are not necessarily very valuable, nor are they famous brands, but they are a piece of mother-in-law's kindness.
The "bright" grandmother brought two buckets of peanut oil squeezed by herself from her hometown, as well as vegetables in her own field, thinking about her own things and eating them with confidence.
But after the daughter-in-law saw it, she was very disgusted, "Now who still eats the oil squeezed by the workshop, it is unhygienic to look at, and it is better to buy a bucket in the supermarket than this", "and these vegetables are stained with mud, don't let the child get sick after eating."
Then directly took it and threw it into the trash can, the mother-in-law worked hard to bring the local specialties to the child, but the result was disgusted, as a mother-in-law feel extremely sad.
2, do not know how to be grateful
Bringing a baby at home is a very hard thing, and the mother-in-law is an elderly person, so taking a baby is a chore for them.
But the mother-in-law has never complained half a word when helping to take care of the baby, even if the child is naughty, the mother-in-law will take good care of the child, and the old man feels that taking care of the child is his primary responsibility.
But for children can not be so understood, the elderly to help with the baby is the love, not with the baby is also the duty, now many young people feel that the mother-in-law has the obligation to bring the baby.
And it is often said that "you will not bring me a baby, I will not raise you in the future", this statement is absolutely out of the mouth of the lawless, parents have the obligation to raise children, but there is no obligation to bring a baby.
So don't take this matter for granted, be grateful, let the old man rest after work, and don't let the baby brought by the mother-in-law change from one to two or three!
3. Not understood by children
"Xiao Han" came home from work to see her son watching TV alone in the living room, when she was angry, yelling at her mother-in-law, "How many children are short-sighted now, you don't know, my son is nearsighted, you are happy, even a child at home is not good."
In fact, the mother-in-law is very aggrieved in her heart, a person at home to watch the child, to the meal point to first cook for the child, and then feed the child, coax the child to sleep, wait until the child is asleep.
The mother-in-law took out yesterday's leftovers from the refrigerator and ate them again, and as a result, she went to the toilet with a bad stomach, so she let the child watch TV for a while, but she was not understood by the children.
No filial piety has three, no queen is greater?
"No filial piety has three nothings to be greater", this sentence has been circulated for thousands of years, but in the present point of view, it seems to be a little out of place, if there are children in order to increase more pressure on the elderly.
After having children, in disguise, the parents' old age is tied to the child, then this is also a "new type of filial piety".
But it is very difficult to do, especially between children, mothers-in-law, young parents, how to be more harmonious, I think this is what many children should reflect on.
The pressure on young people is very large, you do not have time to personally take the baby, and it is helpless to let the old man help with the baby, but this is not the reason why you do not understand the hard work of the elderly with the baby.
The mother-in-law with the baby does not ask for anything in return, so she often says a word to the mother-in-law, "Mom, you have worked hard!" "The current situation of the mother-in-law is likely to be your future."
What you do is also an example for your children to learn, put yourself in the shoes of your mother-in-law and think about it for your child, maybe the mother-in-law with your baby will become more happy and harmonious.