Hello everyone, I'm Cuckoo Mama~
When I was taking the cloth girl, I found an interesting phenomenon.
Once I was folding clothes in the bedroom and The Cloth Girl was playing in the living room. From time to time, I would glance into the living room and keep an eye on Buu's movements.
She just got off the couch and accidentally fell to the ground, her head touching the edge of the couch. I didn't go right away, but watched her reaction.
She stood up on her own, looked at the couch, and touched her head again. Realizing that nothing was going on, he patted his butt and walked toward me.
After taking a few steps, I found myself looking at her. So her mouth immediately collapsed, and she covered the place where her head had just hit, looking aggrieved to the point of not being able to do it, and said while sobbing, Mom, I just fell.
I cooperated with her and said, the baby fell, where did it fall?
She pointed to her finger, here.
I rubbed it for her, and said that it wouldn't hurt if my mother rubbed it for you.
She shook her head, then went out laughing and giggling again.
There are many moms around me who have also said about this phenomenon. The baby fell, first see if there is anyone around. No one? Then he stood up numbly, and there was nothing to do.
What if someone? The cry was so heartbreaking that my mother didn't coax her for a while, never got up.
Are children human beings? Have you known "acting" since childhood?
The same is falling, why do children have different reactions in the face of different scenes? Should we help it right away? Cuckoo's mother will talk to everyone about this topic.
One: The child falls down and cries, and there are other reasons
I saw a dad on the Internet who was standing by the wall holding his month-old baby, suddenly tapped the wall with his hand, and then quickly rubbed the baby's head.
The baby, who had just been confused, heard the sound of hitting the wall, and then felt his father rubbing his head. So suddenly I started crying, as if to say, Oh, I just hit my head, it hurts.
Does it really hurt for the child to fall? not necessarily.
Children who fall down will habitually cry bitterly. Even this baby, who did not hit his head, cried so sadly, what the hell was going on?
After the child falls, in addition to crying in real pain, he cries, in fact, there are other reasons.
● Respond accordingly to the reactions of others
I don't know if you have found that those children who cry very badly after falling down, the parents around them, the basic reactions are particularly large. And those children who behave lightly after falling, their parents, usually behave more calmly.
This is because when the child is still young, he will react accordingly according to the reactions of others. They will even mistake the evaluations and feelings of others for their own.
For example, after the baby who just walked fell, the parents looked at it, nervous, and even shed tears in pain.
The baby, who originally did not feel pain, reacted so fiercely when he saw his parents. He wondered, it hurt so much?
Therefore, the more he thought about it, the more painful it became, so he reacted in response to the adult, howling and crying, as if he had been greatly wronged.
● Get attention
After the child fell, the mother immediately ran to help him up, and asked with concern, where did it fall, does it hurt?
If the child says, it doesn't hurt, it's okay. The mother walked away relieved.
But if the child says, it hurts. Also cooperated with a cry. The mother also held the child in pain, rubbing the place where she had fallen while comforting her. You may also say that your mother will buy you candy to eat, and you will not cry.
If you were a child, which one would you choose?
The second, of course!
It doesn't matter if you fall, it doesn't matter if there is anyone around. If your mother is present, then whether it hurts or not, it is right to cry first!
At this moment, I would like to quote the lyrics, I should cooperate with your performance, but I turn a blind eye~
Second: After the baby falls, these practices are not advisable
● All blame this land, fell to my baby
When I was a child, if I bumped into it, my grandmother would say that I blamed this stool for tripping my little grandchildren.
I didn't understand things at that time, I thought it was indeed a problem of tables, stools and floors, and when I stood up, I had to kick them, who told you to trip me?
When I grew up, I realized that it was just a way for the old man to love me, and she wanted me to be happy quickly.
But in fact, such a way is not advisable.
Because the fall is your own problem, how can you blame others in turn? Such children, when they grow up, are prone to form an inertial thinking, and when they encounter problems, they are the fault of others, not their own reasons.
● If there is any big deal, don't cry
Some mothers, worried about spoiling the baby, afraid that he is weak in resistance to setbacks, and cry when he encounters a small matter. So after the baby falls, not only does not help, but also tells the child, is not falling, and it does not hurt, no big deal, do not cry.
Over time, the child may appear strong. But in fact, many of his inner needs have not been seen and not met, which will make the child feel insecure.
He may develop an overly strong, indifferent personality. When others are in trouble, he will stand by and watch. And when he is in trouble, he will also refuse to be helped.
Three: After the baby falls, do you want to help?
Behavioral psychology mentions that when the baby falls, parents do not have to struggle with the problem of not supporting, but do the following things to give the child a sense of security at the same time, but also improve his ability to resist setbacks.
Be aware in time
After the baby falls, we should keep calm ourselves, do not panic, and avoid the child mistakenly taking our feelings as his own. You can check the situation first, and then ask the child, where did you fall? Does it hurt?
Let the child observe and feel the situation in the moment for himself. It also made him understand that we came over and the situation would not get worse. This will reassure him and dispel the fear in his heart.
If the fall is more serious, we need to take him to the doctor in time. But in the whole process, we can also be optimistic, influence the child with a positive attitude, and cultivate his courage.
Encourage your child to stand up on their own
If it's not a big deal, we can encourage the child, the baby is a brave child, fall down and can stand up on his own, right?
Encourage your child to face up to the problem and overcome it on their own. This fosters his strong, courageous qualities.
Experience
We can also ask the child, how did you just fall?
The child may say that he is too anxious to see the road; that he has tripped over his shoelaces; that he has fallen on a stool and has not been lifted up, and so on.
At this time, we can help him sum up the experience, then the next time we walk, don't be too panicked, see the road clearly and then go; the shoelaces are scattered in time; if the stool is overturned, help up, so as not to trip others again...
When a child falls, we not only encourage him to "get up from where he falls", but also teach him to sum up the experience and not wrestle in the same place next time.
In this way, the child will become positive and brave, and have a strong ability to resist setbacks.
【Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion】
About the author: Cuckoo mom, a good observation, thinking, method of the mother. Focus on children's psychology, read children's easy parenting, like to pay attention to it~