Hello everyone, I'm Cuckoo Mama~
During the Chinese New Year, friends and family will gather together and walk around each other. And when adults see cute and loving children, they will inevitably think of teasing.
Some want to hug their children, and some want to have them kiss.
But some adults are not measured, and they will make children cry. At this time, we want to stop it, it seems to be small and childish, and it is not fun. Don't stop it, whose children are in pain.
Cuckoo's mother felt that the jokes of adults would be fine if they were light. But if the "bad taste" is over, then we should not be embarrassed and should be directly stopped.
One: These 4 kinds of behavior are ill-intentioned
What kind of jokes will make children have psychological shadows?
For example, if we encounter the following types, then "when it is time to shoot", decisively refuse.
Pour wine
In the New Year, many people will drink alcohol to help entertain. Everyone drank and chatted at the dinner table, and the relationship became much closer. Some relatives will let children, especially little boys, drink some wine.
If the children don't drink, they will also pour alcohol, saying that boys have to learn to drink from elementary school, and the amount of alcohol will be good later.
Guangzhou Daily once did a survey, and about a quarter of the respondents said they had been drunk as a child.
When Cuckoo's mother was a child, she once mistakenly drank liquor as water, and the taste is remembered to this day. For small children, wine is really difficult to drink, children still love to drink good.
There was no example before, the child followed his father to eat a banquet, and as a result, he drank too much wine, remained in a drunken state, and never woke up.
The child's brain is not well developed, and alcohol can easily stimulate brain cells. If you are not careful, your child is likely to be hurt.
Therefore, if we encounter a situation where the child is drunk, we must resolutely refuse. It is not a question of whether you want to or not, but whether you can drink it or not.
Your mom doesn't want you anymore
For this sentence, Cuckoo Mama has a deep understanding.
I am married far away, and my mother's family is several provinces away from my in-laws' house. Every time the neighbor bumped into Bu Ni, he had to tease: "Your mother has gone back, she doesn't want you anymore." ”
As soon as Bu Yu heard this, she cried and cried out that she wanted to come back to me.
Later, I kept comforting Bu Ni and telling her that no matter where I went, I would take her with me and would never leave her alone at home.
After saying this a few times, Bu Ni is only a little better. When she met someone else teasing her like this, she replied, "My mother is at home." ”
Some data show that in the behavior of "teasing children", the most hurtful words for children are this sentence: "Your mother does not want you." ”
After giving birth to a second child, there will be relatives who tease Dabao: "Your parents only like younger brothers and sisters, they don't want you anymore." "Every time I saw Dabaoxin and thought it was really wowing and crying, the adults laughed instead.
I saw one thing online before, there was a little girl, when she was 5 years old, her mother gave birth to a second child. As a result, the adults around her told her that her mother had a small baby, she only liked the small and did not like the big, and if the big one did not obey, she would be sold.
The little girl trembled with fear that she would be sold if she had done something wrong. I also save money for breakfast every day to save up in case I don't have money to eat after being sold.
An adult's joke puts a child in an almost desperate situation. How cruel is that?
Therefore, in this case, we should not take into account the face of no face, we must protect the child in time.
Belittle children
Under the topic of "teasing children in the New Year", there is a highest praise that says: I hate it most when people say, why are you so stupid, this is not good, who will do it, why can't you do it, that won't be, what use do you have?
This kind of demeaning way directly breaks the child's sense of value.
Psychologist Adler said that when a child is born, he will not know anything, he needs to rely on adults for everything, and he is born with an inferiority complex.
And if the child is constantly hit and degraded in this way, he will really believe that he is incompetent and become inferior.
For the sake of children's mental health, when encountering such a tease, let's quickly stop it.
Come, put on a show
When it comes to such a scene as a party, the children seem to become little experts in helping to entertain. Singing, dancing, twisting songs, whether you will or not, in short, if you want to perform, you have to perform.
Many children face such a scene, the heart will be very resistant, and even scared to cry.
When children are not willing to perform in public, we should not force them and respect their wishes.
Two: How to refuse with dignity?
You may say that I also want to help my children refuse, but sometimes I hinder the face of relatives and can't say too much to offend people.
Cuckoo's mother has taught Bu Yu a few tricks, which are very effective, you may wish to try it too.
Teach your child to say, "I don't like you like that. ”
When the child feels uncomfortable in the face of amusing, directly tell the other person how to feel: "I don't like you like this." These words are spoken by the child, which not only does not hurt the adult's harmony, but also shows the child's attitude. When the child's tone is firm, the adult will generally stop amusing and respect the child.
Tell your child, "Mom and Dad will always love you." ”
The child is very naïve and very deceitful. When someone says something like "Mom and Dad don't want you anymore" or "Mom is gone and never comes back," it's easy for children to believe it.
In this case, we must constantly tell the child that mom and dad will always love him and never leave him. After the child believes, he has the courage to confront these inappropriate words from the outside world.
Take the child directly away
When you encounter a situation where you are teasing your child to drink, if it is not good to refuse, find an excuse to take your child away. For example, if something is missing, ask your child to help find it. Or something else.
If you really can't find an excuse, you will directly come forward to refuse and tell the other party that your child cannot drink.
Ask your child for their opinion
When we encounter a child who asks for a talent show, we can ask the child's opinion. If the child is willing, then let him go, just exercise his guts. If the child clearly says that he does not like it, we need to support him and help him refuse.
Tell relatives that we as parents usually respect the child's ideas, and since the child is unwilling, we will not force him.
Have you found that many ways to crack jokes are actually the right ideas we usually instill in our children.
Only by conveying our love and respect to the child more often, so that the child has enough security in his heart, can he have his own judgment and not be teased by a joke or two.
In addition, when the child can't stand the amusement of the relatives, we must also firmly stand on the child's side and let him know that no matter what, we are supporting him.
Only in this way can we safely take our children to visit relatives during the New Year's Festival.
I don't know if you have encountered children being joked during the Spring Festival?
【Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion】
About the author: Cuckoo mom, a good observation, thinking, method of the mother. Exchange parenting experience, share psychological knowledge, like to pay attention to it~