Hello everyone, I'm Cuckoo Mama~
It is said that whoever brings up the child is kissed by whom. But there seems to be another special case, such as a grandmother with a baby.
The nephew was weaned a few months after birth and sent to his grandmother's house by his parents. This stay is two or three years. Listening to my grandmother's joke that when he was taken to kindergarten, he pulled on the door and cried, "I want grandma, I want grandma." ”
During his kindergarten years, he urged his parents to come to see his grandmother every time he took a vacation. Moreover, as soon as I entered the door, I hugged my grandmother and did not let go, not to mention how intimate.
But now, when he is in his teens, he doesn't like to move around much. When the family came back from the New Year, just after eating, we adults were still pulling the family routine, and he kept shouting: "Gone, go back." ”
This move made his mother very dissatisfied: "What are you going back to?" What's wrong with coming to Grandma's house for a while. Didn't you used to be your favorite, and how did you become so distant now? Grandma is so sad. ”
The grandmother on the side just joked that the child grew up and was afraid of giving birth.
Why don't children like to go to their grandmother's house as soon as they grow up?
One: The answer is a bit poignant
In fact, carefully observing the children around us, it is not difficult to find that there are many "realistic" reasons why children are reluctant to go to their grandmother's house when they grow up.
It felt uncomfortable
There is a saying that the golden nest and silver nest are not as good as their own "kennel". This sentence is the same for children. Because, no matter how good grandma's family is, she does not have her own home.
When the child was young, he was fine and did not understand things. When you grow up, have a certain degree of self-esteem, and understand that you are embarrassed, it is inevitable that you will feel uncomfortable in other people's homes.
Like the little nephew at that time, only the grandmother was at home. Similarly, the whole family is just one child. When he lived in his grandmother's house, he made it his home and was free. I want to watch TV and watch TV, I want to play with toys and toys.
Later, when Bu Ni was born, he immediately felt that he was not the only "host", or even just a "guest".
Want to watch your favorite show? That's not okay, Buoy wants to see Peppa Pig. Want to build a building block? Bu Ni reached out and pushed you down. Trying to do your homework quietly, Bu Ni jumps up and down next to you.
My nephew asked me for help countless times: "Auntie, you should take care of her." "I took Bu Ni away, but as soon as I turned my head, Bu Ni went to trick-or-treat again."
If this was his own sister, he would probably do it. But the key is that you can't fight, you can't scold, and your nephew is so angry that he has to pack up his things and leave.
Many children, when they are young, especially when they are still "the only ones", prefer to be bored in their grandmother's house. But when his grandmother's family also had children, he felt that he was an "outsider".
For the things in his grandmother's house, he can only use them if he is allowed to. If you are not allowed to use it privately, you will not only be accused by adults, but also may be hurt by the "fairy tales" of your peers.
Based on this, children are less and less like to go to their grandmother's house.
Feel bored
When the child grows up, he has passed the age of saying anything cute. When I was a child, I talked to my elders, said whatever I wanted, and often used naïve words to make everyone laugh.
When you grow up, you have to pay attention to politeness and detail when you speak. Moreover, there is not much common discourse with adults, and communication with grandmothers becomes more restrained. As soon as the communication is reduced, the feelings are not as strong as before.
If your grandmother's family has small friends to play with, if there is no playmate, it is inevitable that you will be bored.
Moreover, after going to school, I still have to face a series of questions from relatives: What are the grades? How many points do you score? How many awards have you received? How many? Are there any cadres on duty? ......
Not every child can face this kind of scene with confidence. Especially when relatives have finished asking, they must also make a comparison, saying who has good grades and who has received praise.
The child also wants face, and when he is in such an embarrassing situation, he just wants to hurry up and leave, and he does not want to stay for a moment. As a result, children are more and more reluctant to go to relatives and do not like to go to their grandmother's house.
Not adaptable to the environment
As a child grows older, the less time he has free time. Homework and studies account for most of life, and it is difficult to take a day or two off, he is either sleeping or making up homework. Or take some time out, but also want to go to friends and classmates to play.
It is precisely because of this situation that children go to their grandmother's house less and less often. And every time I went, I felt that the environment in my grandmother's place needed to be re-adapted.
It's like my nephew lives in the city, and we live in the countryside. In the winter, their home is warm and warm, and they wear slippers and single clothes indoors. And this side of the countryside is obviously much colder, and he says cold every time he comes.
So, whenever his parents said they would go back to the country, he resisted, saying it was too cold and didn't want to come.
Didn't like to show the show
Every time relatives meet, the children are "forced to open for business."
Sometimes when relatives ask for it, parents will urge their children to perform in public. Or singing, or dancing, or reciting poems.
In fact, many children do not like to be forced to perform like this. Slowly, they resisted going to their relatives, and they did not like to go to their grandmother's house.
Children do not want to go to their grandmother's house, not because they are "not filial", but because there are many practical reasons. After listening to this, do you feel a little sad?
Two: Children don't like to go to their grandmother's house, what can we do?
When we hear a child say that she doesn't want to go to her grandmother's house, as a mother, we are bound to be uncomfortable. However, Cuckoo's mother suggested that we should not rush to accuse, after all, the child also has his "bitterness". We can think of ways to make children change their minds.
Listen to your child's thoughts and ask why he doesn't want to go. Then let's figure out a way to see if this can be avoided.
Reassure the child that when relatives ask him to perform or compare him, we divert the conversation or help break the siege.
Take your children around and connect with your grandchildren. If there is less contact between the two, the child will inevitably feel strange when he goes back. Moving around more can enhance feelings, and children are more willing to be close to their grandmothers.
Help your child explore the fun of going to grandma's house. The reason why the child does not want to go to relatives is that they feel uncomfortable or bored. Then let's help children find a different kind of fun. Like taking your child to the place where you played as a child and exploring your childhood joys with him.
Show weakness appropriately. Children do not want to go to grandma's house, we should not be in a hurry to get angry, we can try to let the child empathize with you. For example, tell your child that you grew up there, that there is your mom and dad, and that you miss mom and dad. Ask your child if they would like to accompany you to visit your mom and dad.
Generally speaking, when children hear this, they will be willing to go back.
If no matter what method is used, the child is not willing to move around. This shows that the child may have grown up, has his own ideas, and does not want to be a "fart worm" anymore. At this time, we will not be forced anymore.
Will your children go to their grandmother's house during the Chinese New Year?
【Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion】
About the author: Cuckoo mom, a good observation, thinking, method of the mother. Exchange parenting experience, share psychological knowledge, like to pay attention to it~