A father once said:
I will teach my child to apologize, because he will learn to admit his mistakes, but I will never let him be the one who apologizes forever, because the head that should not be bowed is as precious as the gold under a man's knee.
You must have the atmosphere of bowing your head, and you must also have the backbone of a straight spine!
People have self-esteem, and adult self-esteem makes us feel ashamed to apologize, but children's self-esteem is often ignored by adults.
In fact, children's minds are not yet mature, their psychological endurance is far inferior to that of adults, and their self-esteem is more deserving and more worthy of protection.
Forcing children to apologize is the first reaction of many parents when they find out that their children have done something wrong, often indiscriminately.
This command immediately blurted out, if the child is not willing to apologize, it will also bring a beating or other corporal punishment, then in this case, there are nothing more than two situations:
One is that the child has not done anything wrong; the other is that the child has done something wrong, but does not know where he is wrong, and is ashamed to apologize.
Don't take responsibility for what you haven't done
When a bad thing happens, don't immediately take responsibility for yourself, such a person lives too tired and too hard.
The Chinese nation is good at self-examination, but we are also an indomitable nation, people, and we do not need to take responsibility for what we have not done.
This is a lesson in the child's life, and it is also a solid step for the child to change from inferiority and introversion to self-confidence and self-reliance.
Let the child bear the false accusation, which parents do not want to see, so when this situation occurs, we must first understand the cause, process and result of the matter.
Do not subjectively convict the child, which will not only frustrate the child's self-esteem, but also reduce the sense of trust between parents and children, thus affecting the child's growth and the relationship between parents and children.
Learn to recognize mistakes
Many children do not actually mean it when they run into trouble.
In their cognition, the definition of doing something wrong is not perfect, and there is nothing wrong with such and such problems in the growth stage, but after the child has done something wrong, how to deal with it has become a science.
A big reason why the child refuses to apologize after doing something wrong is that he does not feel that he has done wrong, so as parents, we must learn to guide the child to learn to recognize the mistake.
If one thing is messed up, what is wrong with the child?
What are the consequences of this happening?
How much effort does it take for others to take care of the aftermath?
These questions are all chains of logic that parents can build in their minds in an instant, but children are often stuck here:
They do not know what the consequences of the wrong thing, at this time, parents can not immediately force their children to apologize, that will be counterproductive;
It is better to break up the results and tell the child in detail, so that he can correctly recognize his mistakes and provide a logical channel for apologizing.
Put the apology in perspective
Apologizing is a heartfelt introspection and apology for what you have done wrong, not a punishment.
Many parents often let their children apologize, as a formalistic means of punishment, children grow up in an environment where they are forced to apologize, and their apologies will become hanging and worthless.
Parents or victims will feel perfunctory and humiliated because the apology is too watery, but they will be even more angry.
Learn to let the child look at the apology correctly, if you can't recognize your mistakes, then the forced apology is better than nothing.
Apologizing is not a shameful thing, parents should let their children realize that people who have the courage to sincerely express apologies are worthy of admiration, and they can change their mistakes and be very good.
Raising children requires parents to have super patience.
Don't impose the results of your own ideas on your child, think about it from your child's point of view:
What are the reasons for the child's doing this, and whether parents need to patiently explain the logical chain of the development of things, so that the child can realize the mistake and sincerely express his apologies in an appropriate way.
Children who have been so nurtured since childhood must grow up to be new young people who understand etiquette, are educated, and have quality.
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