How to find a good counselor for your child?

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Children and adolescents will have a variety of emotional or psychological problems, at this time, the need for parental help and support. If you don't think your child is reaching the level of a mental disorder or mental illness, consider whether they need counseling.

According to the data, about 10% of adolescents aged 5-17 receive psychological counseling or psychotherapy each year. A good counselor can help your child cope with a variety of difficulties, including:

Mental health conditions, such as anxiety or depression;

Difficulty coping with learning disabilities, such as school aversion or distraction;

Interpersonal relationship problems;

Problems with parents or friends;

Stressful events such as divorce or death, etc.

But how do you find the right counselor for your child? It takes time to find and screen counselors, and you need to know what to ask and who to ask.

Below, Professor Rong Xinqi, an expert in new concept psychology, will talk to you about this topic.

Different types of counselors

What kind of counselor does your child need? Counselor? psychiatrist? Or something else?

Each of these counselors has a different type of training and offers different services.

1. School counselor

At present, most high schools and colleges and universities will be equipped with full-time psychological counselors who have basic psychological counseling skills, can deal with students' general psychological problems and make initial psychological crisis interventions.

Sometimes, counselors also work with students, teachers, and families to understand their dynamics. They look at the environment, behavior patterns, family functioning, and more to gain insight into how students fit into a good life.

2. Professional psychological counselor

Professional counselors have a wealth of counseling skills and social work experience, and their goal is to help your child resolve psychological problems or disorders and help children succeed in their environment.

They will work with your child to help them with problems they encounter at school, life, and at home, which can include stress management, interpersonal conflicts, learning disabilities, being bullied in school, or relationship problems with their parents.

3. Clinical psychologist

Clinical psychologists have a wealth of psychological knowledge and skills, and they provide a variety of services and assistance to children.

If your child has difficulty keeping up with school, or if you think they may have a mental health problem or illness such as depression, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder, a clinical psychologist can provide psychological testing and psychotherapy.

They often employ a research-based approach to psychotherapy and work with young people with more complex problems.

4. Psychiatrists and psychopharmacologists

These professionals have medical degrees.

If your child needs medication for anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or any other mental illness, they will prescribe the medicine and monitor your child's medication.

Types of psychotherapy

There are many types of psychotherapy available for children and adolescents. Choosing the right psychotherapy for your child will depend on your child's age and what kind of psychological problem, disorder, or mental illness they have.

Here are some of the more common therapies:

1. Game therapy

This type of psychotherapy is ideal for preschoolers or primary school-age children who need guidance in coping with emotions or who have experienced stressful events.

The counselor will use toys, dolls, games, or artwork to help your child express their feelings. When playing together, a counselor can help your child overcome their emotions.

2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is often used in conjunction with hypnotherapy in children who struggle with attention, mood disorders, phobias and obsessive-compulsive disorders.

The counselor will work with your child to help them understand their thoughts, words, and behaviors. Then, they will look for better ways to cope in the future.

They will teach your child certain techniques, such as meditation and self-healing, to manage their behavior and emotions; or they will gently unravel your child's fears and help them overcome them.

3. Talk therapy

It may be crucial that someone listens to your problem and helps you solve it.

In talk therapy, your child can:

Develop the skills needed to solve challenges;

Understand and express their feelings, rather than showing them;

Build stronger, healthier relationships;

Communicate their needs.

4. Group therapy

If your child is having difficulty socializing, group therapy is an unparalleled way for them to learn the skills needed to overcome social challenges with others.

Your teen or younger child can learn and practice social rules with others facing the same challenges. This can also build their confidence, especially when they are shy or bullied.

5. Family therapy

If your family is going through a difficult time (e.g., divorce, illness, death of a loved one, financial hardship), family therapy can help you better understand and support each other.

During family therapy, everyone will have the opportunity to express their feelings about the situation and the behavior or reactions of others. Each family member will learn how to communicate better and re-establish a relationship with each other.

How to find a good counselor for your child?

Do you know which type of counselor and therapy is best for your child?

The best way to find a good counselor is to ask around. You'll need to interview at least three potential counselors, so it's a good idea to ask a few different people.

Hopefully, a few names will come up over and over again. Put these counselors on your short list. Just in case, keep the other name.

When looking for advice, consider asking the following people:

Psychology teacher at school. Schools usually have a list of good, professional counselors.

Your child's pediatrician. As in schools, pediatricians often have counselors they know and trust. If they have known your child for years, they may recommend a counselor they deem best for your child.

Trustworthy friends. If a good friend has shared their positive experiences with a child counselor, you may want to talk to them about what they like. If a counselor also seems to be a good fit for your child, you can ask the counselor for information and maybe let the counselor know who recommended you.

Local community or parenting group. Whether online or face-to-face, psychological assistance centers within the community, especially for parents, can provide a wealth of information.

Web online resources. For many parents, this is the first option for finding a counselor. However, due to the complexity of online information, finding a reliable, suitable and professional psychological counselor requires you to spend a lot of time, money and energy, which undoubtedly greatly increases the "trial and error cost" for you and your children.

Professor Rong said that once you think you have found a suitable psychological counselor, please actively cooperate and patiently carry out psychological counseling and treatment to further ensure that the child's psychological problems/mental illnesses can be solved in a timely manner, and the treatment effect is consolidated and followed up.

Professor Rong explained: "Usually, the first one or two psychological counseling or treatment is just the counselor to understand the child's situation, establish a preliminary trust and counseling relationship with the child, and determine the appropriate counseling or treatment method. In this two sessions of counseling or treatment, you may not see a significant improvement in your child, and may even cause your child's emotional outbursts. Because in the process of understanding the situation in the counselor, it is possible to touch the child's trauma and make his emotions run out of control. This is normal, and you don't have to worry too much about it, and you don't have to worry about the counselor's abilities. ”

"In the next three to four or even more times of psychological counseling or treatment, we will gradually enter the formal psychological counseling or treatment, solve the child's psychological problems, heal the child's psychological trauma, and feedback with parents." Professor Rong said, "But here, it is particularly important to pay attention to that many parents choose to stop psychological counseling or treatment after seeing that their children have made a significant improvement, thinking that 'the child is better' and do not need to continue psychological counseling or treatment." The child is then sent to school to continue learning, and the grades cannot be left behind. However, the reality is that the child's situation has indeed improved somewhat, but it is far from enough, and the effect of counseling or treatment has not been consolidated and strengthened in time, and some real problems have not been solved. Soon after, the child's problem broke out again, even more serious than before. This is actually more than worth the loss. Therefore, we must adhere to and patiently go through the entire process of consultation and treatment, thoroughly solve the problem and consolidate the effect, and prevent the recurrence of the problem. ”

Also, before you take your child to the first counseling or treatment, be sure to discuss with your child why they should receive counseling or treatment and how counseling or treatment can help them.

Moreover, the psychological problems of many children are caused by the family. Therefore, while solving the child's psychological problems, as a parent, you also need to reflect on yourself, discuss the shortcomings of the family with the counselor, and then change and grow up with the child.

Finding the right counselor for your child and working on this process can improve your and your child's lives.

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