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People of all ages can benefit from counselors. However, children are reluctant to accept counselling for a variety of reasons – they may be afraid to talk to people they don't know, they may also be wary of things they don't fully understand, or they are disgusted by counselling out of past experience or distrust and suspicion of unfamiliar counselors...
In our New Concept Counseling Center, I have met many such parents: they all trust and are satisfied with us and recognize us, but the children themselves are unwilling to accept psychological counseling, are very resistant to psychological counseling or are not willing to go out at all... In this regard, parents are like ants on the hot pot, anxious, but the child is indifferent and does not buy it at all.
As a result, many parents may ask: How do I get my child to see a counselor?
Professor Rong Xinqi, a psychologist, pointed out that it is very common for children not to want to see a counselor because it is a stranger, and even in their eyes, the counselor is a negative role that is incompetent and may hurt them. And, for children, the idea of just doing something very foreign can be really hard for them, and they may feel very nervous or hesitant about it.
You can help your child overcome fear or reluctance by explaining "why counseling may help."
Professor Rong suggests describing it as a way to make your children and family better. "The general emphasis on the fact that the conversation is positive would go a long way," Professor Rong said.
In the beginning, many children may develop resistance to counseling, and it is important to understand their needs and what is best for them. Child counselors are adept at dealing with a child's discomfort or hesitation, and many children are usually willing to continue meeting with the counselor after the initial consultation.
Your child may need signs of counseling
Since the outbreak of COVID-19 in early 2020, people's stress levels have increased dramatically. Professor Rong advises parents to consider its impact on their children's mental health, even those who seem to be well suited to social change.
"Your child may be suffering more from the pandemic than you actually know, and if you start to see some small signs, please take them to psychological counseling in time, as they may now need outside help," Professor Rong advised.
If you notice changes in your child's mood, behavior, relationships, school performance, or any other aspect of their life, this may indicate that they may need help with counseling.
Some signs that your child may need help with counseling include:
Sudden changes in mood or behavior;
Sudden shifts in relationships, for example, becoming more withdrawn from the outside;
Expressing suicidal or self-harming thoughts;
Depressed mood, for example, loss of interest or enjoyment of activities;
Sudden change in appetite, eating more or less than usual;
Changes in school performance and so on.
When the child has these conditions, parents should take the child to psychological counseling in a timely and early manner.
When your child asks for counseling
Your child may also ask for counseling. This is common for some children and teens and can be a positive thing because they find certain topics difficult to talk to with parents and caregivers.
"Especially now, the education of mental health has received a lot of support in schools and other places, and children may actually know and be more willing to receive psychological counseling than parents," Professor Rong said.
He advises parents to take their children's request seriously, even if you are scared, try not to show it in front of your child.
"You don't want your child to ask for counseling, which looks like something is abnormal," Professor Rong said. Of course, you'll be curious about why your child wants to receive counseling and understand how they feel and the seriousness of the situation. But this may or may not cause panic and resistance in the child.
That's why it's important to have calm, honest conversations with your child. Professor Rong added that it can help you keep the channels of communication open.
Find the right counselor
Given the ongoing pressure on travel and life due to the pandemic, finding a suitable counselor for your child is not easy.
In addition, the first counselor you try may not match your or your child's personality. You may need to go through a counselor or two to find the right fit for your child, but don't give up.
If the first counselor is inappropriate, or your child is completely against him, it doesn't mean you've failed, it just means you're not looking for the right person. If you have the ability or conditions to allow, take some time to explore more and seek referrals from people you trust, such as your child's teacher, pediatrician, or other friends of yours.
Alternatively, you can also look for a licensed counselor with the expertise and training to perform the type of treatment that best suits your child and family.
How to get your child to talk to a counselor
Before you suggest counseling, it's best to really listen to your child's inner thoughts and pay attention to how they express their concerns.
If you use the same words as your child when expressing yourself, they may have more contact with you.
Convincing your child to take some time for counseling is best encouraged by suggesting "why therapy might help"
Parents can also explain that counseling can be a way to maintain physical and mental health, just as everyday life can help us take care of our bodies.
"It's important to normalize mental health in this way," Professor Rong said. "It's also part of our physical health. Most children at least 5 years old know their bodies – going to the doctor when sick, not being able to eat certain foods, getting up to brush their teeth... They understand these truths, as long as you are willing to calm down and talk to them well. He added.
Of course, when you talk to your child about counseling:
Try to stay calm;
Try to manage your dissatisfaction, anger, nervousness, or frustration beforehand;
Share a positive personal experience, for example, that maybe you were able to sleep better after talking to a counselor;
Encourage your child to at least "give it a try";
Frame counseling with a positive attitude to increase the likelihood that your child will not be afraid to talk about it or get involved.
Psychological counseling can solve a variety of psychological problems and psychological disorders in children. The goal of counseling may often be to provide them with emotional support and understanding and to find new solutions and coping methods.
Professor Rong said counselling can provide a pathway to becoming resilient, a trait that can benefit a person for life and promote mental health.
Intervene early through counseling to help your child solve psychological problems and even change your child's life to success.
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