A child's attitude often depends on the attitude of the parents.
For most parents in China, they will basically adopt a repressive education, basically do not praise their children, but use cold words to mock their children, afraid that their children will be complacent because they have achieved a little.
Although many generations of children have been raised by such education, and will be passed on after they have children, this way of education should really be stopped!
Mom, why don't you praise me!
Babe's mother is one of the most repressive education, because her mother was scolded by her grandfather from childhood to adulthood, and she also exercised various abilities, so she wanted to use this method to educate Babe.
After all, he is a successful example of this way of education, and Babe also has his own experience in his body, and he will definitely get positive results. Even though Dad often persuades Mom to change her temper, Mom is still stubborn.
I don't know if it's because Babe hasn't received other ways of education, and has never had any resistance to her mother, even if she has done good things, she has become accustomed to her mother's sneering.
But when Babe went to kindergarten, one day when he came home from school, he was very unhappy, and when his mother asked him what was wrong, he said to his mother very bluntly: Mom, why did you never praise me! Other children often get praise from their mothers, don't I do a good job?
When the mother heard Babe's rhetorical question, she realized that her own education method was problematic, obviously Babe was better than other children, but in his own heart, he was so inferior, it really shouldn't be!
Your cold words are making children more and more vulnerable, and they think that they are frustrated education! Don't be unaware
It will only make the child more and more insecure
When children first complete a thing, they have no idea whether the result is good or bad, they will only measure the result according to the parents' reaction, and if the parents are happy and praise themselves, they will prove that they have done a good thing. On the contrary, it will not be done again next time.
This is directly related to the development of their way of thinking, perhaps they really can't accurately judge right and wrong, or maybe they are just acting to please their parents. But the results are all expected of a parent's reaction.
But slowly as children grow up, when they can make self-judgments, although they will also be very concerned about their parents' reactions, what they expect is that their parents will identify with themselves, not suppress themselves.
Because once the parents and their own ideas have a discrepancy, they will still give priority to agreeing with the parents' feelings, after all, they have become accustomed to this kind of flattery, but they are in contradiction for a long time, which will make the child extremely insecure.
Feeling that their judgment is wrong, the next time the same situation occurs, they will become creepy and afraid to try themselves, but their hearts will get the same disappointed result.
A relaxed and pleasant growth environment is conducive to the overall development of children's personality
Educators often advise parents to create a relaxed and pleasant family atmosphere for their children, so as to help children form an optimistic and positive personality, and even emotional intelligence, IQ, and reverse quotient will have a certain help.
This is because, in this environment, the child is able to fully open his heart and know that no matter what kind of behavior he carries out, he will receive strong support from his parents. Even if you do something wrong and mess things up, there are parents who wipe their butts for themselves. Knowing that parents can forgive themselves infinitely.
On the contrary, the child will become a gain or loss, in order to please the parents to get the praise of the parents and make behaviors, and even make some behavior against the heart, obviously they do not think so in their hearts, but in order to guess the parents' preferences.
Over time, the child's personality will also change greatly, and the consequences of suppressing their emotions are either destruction or explosion, no matter what kind of result, it is impossible for the child to bear.
Children will continue this wrong education
The reason why this wrong way of education will be passed down from generation to generation is because of the imitation behavior of children. When they were raised in this way of education, they would think it was right.
Even exposure to other ways as you grow up doesn't have any impact, after all, this empathetic approach to education has long been ingrained. And this pain that I have endured must also be passed on to the child to be relieved!
Today's summary:
Will you do a repressive education for your child? Do you think this approach to education is right or wrong? Feel free to share your thoughts with us!