Zhizi 3 minutes 28th | the "inverse quotient" training four-step method

When a child can overcome setbacks and grow up bravely, he will become self-reliant, self-reliant, determined, and powerful. True setback education should be to teach children how to deal with them when they encounter real setbacks in their development.

Because suffering and setbacks in themselves do not give children any energy, the wisdom and will that children gain in overcoming these difficulties will be helpful in later life.

Today, what I share with you is the four-step method of children's "reverse quotient" training.

Step 1: Take back the "it's okay, what's this?"

People with high ability to resist setbacks can often control their emotions when facing setbacks. And more than 80% of parents' mantra in the face of their children's frustration is "it doesn't matter, what is this", and this sentence is the culprit that makes children lose control of their emotions.

Therefore, when the child encounters "setbacks", do not deliberately weaken the difficulties he encounters, on the contrary, encourage the child to face and train his emotional control ability.

For example, when the child is distressed because he has not been selected as a cadre to work, parents can tell the child, "Mom knows that you are feeling frustrated now, but I hope you can work harder." ”

Step 2: Don't rush to help

Parents see that the child is writing homework with great effort, looking at him uncomfortable to cry, we can't help but tell him the answer, at this time, the child's face suddenly smiled and blossomed. But this is equivalent to creating a "vacuum immune environment" for children, so that valuable "frustration education" opportunities are missed.

Whether it is difficulties in life or difficulties in learning, when children encounter these setbacks, parents are not in a hurry to help and guide children to find ways to solve problems by themselves, so that children can get their own exercises in facing setbacks and enduring setbacks.

Step Three: Analyze the causes, not the generalized encouragement

Jing Jing only scored 70 points in this exam, and her heart was extremely uncomfortable. Dad saw her frustrated look, picked up the test paper and looked at it, then smiled and stroked her head and said, "These wrong questions are all caused by carelessness, right?" Quietly nodded.

Dad said, "If you are wrong, you will be wrong, find out the reason, and you will only do well next time, just like the Tang monks and disciples in Journey to the West who went through 9981 difficulties to obtain the True Scriptures." ”

After listening quietly, he said firmly: "Rest assured, Dad, I will never make such a mistake again next time."

What can really save the child from frustration is not the encouragement full of chicken soup, but to analyze the causes of failure with him and find a solution!

Step 4: Say "thank you" to the setback

Cartoonist Zhu Deyong only loved to draw since he was a child, and he was dissuaded from school because of his poor grades in junior high school. But his father said to him, "Congratulations, son." Zhu Deyong was very strange: "This is a shameful thing, what is there to congratulate?" ”

"Congratulations on the gift of fate." The father laughed and said, "People, like animals, have their own talents. For example, tigers have sharp teeth, rabbits have superb running ability, and people are the same. However, everyone is asked to turn into a tiger, and many of them can only be rabbits. Now that you've been kicked out of the squad that trained tigers, you can better use your talents and be a good rabbit wholeheartedly. ”

After becoming an excellent cartoonist, Zhu Deyong often sighed: "Thank you father for congratulating me when I was frustrated, he let me understand that there are many failures and setbacks in the world, in fact, fate is a gift to us, the key lies in what way you choose to treat." ”

So, after a setback, remember to teach your child to say "thank you" to the setback.