Liu Guoliang's daughter began to learn golf when she was 3 years old, the training was very hard and boring, Liu Guoliang has been accompanying her daughter.
At the age of 6, he began to participate in world-level competitions, as long as the competition will win or lose, although he usually puts in a lot of efforts and sweat, but the competition is cruel, in the face of defeat Liu Guoliang's daughter has never cried.
When her mother comforted her, she would say that it was useless to cry if she lost, and then she would just hit the next shot. Such a tenacious will and strong ability to resist setbacks are inseparable from Dad's usual education. Liu Guoliang warned his daughter that in addition to playing golf, psychological quality is very important, you can't control others, but you must control yourself.
Not only to train her daughter's skills, but also to exercise her ability to resist setbacks, even in the face of failure to stay calm. When his daughter won the grand prize of the world-class competition, Liu Guoliang said that there are many difficulties to go through on the road to success, and setback education can push children forward.
Not afraid of failure, falling down and then standing up, you need to have a strong ability to resist setbacks, and you can actively and bravely overcome difficulties, but now children's ability is getting worse and worse.
Why can't today's children withstand setbacks?
First of all, the abundance of material life makes children have a strong sense of self, and now that the standard of living has improved, parents do not want to treat their children badly, and their requirements will try their best to meet. From a child's point of view, anything is easy to get, and you will not know how to cherish it.
Forming habits, they are self-centered, thinking that their needs will be met immediately, and when the slightest material or psychological needs are not met, they are prone to depression and even unreasonable trouble.
Secondly, parents are overprotective, and every parent wants their children to grow up safely and happily, so they are cared for from birth, lest they lose their lives.
Worry about falling, worry about being touched, even when the baby falls or is hurt, crying, parents will kick the floor, hit the table to comfort the child; outside and friction with the child, parents will come forward to help the child solve.
Under such excessive protection, children lack independent ability, once they leave the protection of their parents, they will not reflect on themselves but shirk their responsibilities when encountering things, and even think that they are "wronged", and over time form a "glass heart".
In the end, the way parents love should not bring pressure to children, many parents love their children more importantly, usually love is airtight, and take care of them meticulously. Once the results are not satisfactory, immediately change a look, accuse and reprimand, this kind of improper love makes the child's heart gap is extremely large, and the mood fluctuates.
This kind of pressure is unbearable, and gradually because of the fear of poor grades and usher in this gap, the lack of inner security, become fragile and sensitive, can not withstand setbacks.
The child's ability to withstand setbacks is not innate, but everything experienced in life is accumulated through the guidance of parents.
Proper frustration education should be done in 5 points
1. Recognize setbacks
Children will face many setbacks in life, although some things are not worth mentioning in the eyes of adults, but it is already a big thing for children with poor inner endurance. When the child encounters difficulties, let him understand that everyone will face adversity, as long as you try to think of ways to solve it, so that the child correctly understands the setbacks, self-confidence is not frustrated.
2. Seize the opportunity to carry out setback education
Parents will not protect their children for a lifetime, so when they encounter difficulties, do not rush to intervene instead, give children the opportunity to try, and let him feel frustrated.
Children can be encouraged to try, and the sense of achievement after their own efforts to solve difficulties is the process of children's psychological growth. After having such an experience, he can calmly cope with difficulties and have a sense of control when he encounters difficulties again.
3. Face failure correctly
Everyone can fail in doing anything, so let the child understand that failure is to accumulate experience for success and face it correctly, rather than being stagnant. To adjust emotions and summarize experiences, parents can help their children analyze together, find solutions, and let him re-establish hope. Such a process tempers the child's will and makes him indomitable in the face of failure.
4, do not create setbacks
There was once a mother in Jiangsu who took her 12-year-old daughter to walk from Huai'an, Jiangsu Province, to Nanjing in the hot summer. Hiking in the heat of the day, even in the scorching sun at noon, there is no rest. The mother said that it doesn't matter how to learn, she wants to make her children stronger through such exercises, and does not escape when encountering setbacks.
Many netizens commented: This way is too dangerous, on the road where cars come and go, and it is easy to suffer from heat stroke. In fact, it is completely understandable that this mother's intentions hope that the child has a strong ability to resist setbacks, but this way needs to be examined.
Deliberately creating setbacks is not a setback education, and when a child encounters difficulties, he should be encouraged in the right way to face it bravely. Each child has its own shortcomings and strengths, and parents' expectations must be in line with reality, so as to enhance children's self-confidence.
5. Parents lead by example
Zheng Yuanjie, the king of fairy tales, once said that parents should teach their children to "do more and say less", and when Zheng Yuanjie was in elementary school, she was expelled from school because of an out-of-place essay.
For a child, the blow can be imagined, his father did not accuse him, nor did he complain. He began to write and read books together, and under the patient company and guidance of his father, he embarked on the road of literary creation.
Parents are the best examples for children, if parents lead by example when encountering difficulties and actively find ways to solve them, do not complain and are not anxious, what is passed on to their children is not afraid of setbacks, optimistic attitude.
Pillow Parenting Message:
On the road of children's growth, and even when they enter the society to face life, setbacks can be seen everywhere. At a young age, his parents could pull him out of his predicament and protect him. If you lack the ability to withstand setbacks, once you are free from the protection of your parents, you cannot withstand any adversity. Therefore, the correct frustration education is that when the child encounters difficulties, the parents lend a "helping hand", but instead of rushing to pull him, they guide the child to have the ability to get out of adversity.
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