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As an early education teacher, I am often asked a lot of parenting questions. Recently, the most frequently asked question is a child's language development.
There is a child in the class named Duoduo, who is not very sharp in speaking, often two words and three words jumping outward, a short sentence can be spoken for a long time, and there are grammatical errors in the middle. In this case, Toto has been left behind by children of the same age for several streets.
Duoduo's mother said, "When I was a child, I thought it didn't matter if my child spoke late, so I didn't go out of my way to teach him to speak, but now that Duoduo is 5 years old, his speech is still incoherent, not only is he tired of speaking, others are tired of listening."
Because he can't speak, Toto has almost no friends in kindergarten, because no children are willing to wait for him to finish speaking. Looking at her son's lonely expression, Toto's mother planned to operate on Toto's tongue, and it is said that after the operation, she could speak clearly.
In fact, as early as before, Duoduo's mother took her child to the hospital for a series of examinations, but the doctor did not check out any problems.
This time, Duoduo's mother is also a "dead horse as a live horse doctor", hoping to improve Duoduo's speech problems. In fact, the child's unclear speech is not necessarily a physiological reason, more because the parents do not correctly help the child to learn to speak.
In fact, the child's talk about this thing, it seems to be the child's own business, in fact, the parents, the family environment has a lot to do with it, why say so, today we will take a look together.
01
I have seen a 5-year-old child before, whether outside or at home, basically does not open his mouth, and the child is misunderstood as "dumb" by others, but after going to the hospital for examination, the doctor said that the child did not have any problems. So his parents took him to the psychiatric department for examination, hoping to gain something.
The doctor carefully inquired about the child's living conditions, and after observing the relationship between parents and children, he found that the problem that children could not speak was not in the child, but in the parents.
The first reason why children "can't speak": parents speak for their children
Just like the parents mentioned earlier with the child consultation, during the consultation, the child is thirsty and wants to drink water, the water cup is in the mother's bag, but he did not open his mouth to ask for the water cup, but directly reached into the bag to touch, the mother saw this move, immediately will say, "Want the water cup is not right, the mother to take it for you." ”
There are many more behaviors like this, no matter what the child needs, the mother always prepares what the child needs one step ahead of time, and more importantly, the mother does not give the child the opportunity to speak at all.
Under the doctor's inquiry, the mother confessed that this habit was there when the child was very young, and originally she was just worried that the child would not do well, so for the sake of the child's good, the mother was used to preparing everything he needed for the child.
However, only when the child opens his mouth can he have the opportunity to learn to speak, and will he know whether what he says is correct.
Especially for children who are just beginning to learn to speak, although the semantics are unknown and the meaning of words is not clear, it is not important. The important thing is that after practicing again and again, children gradually learn the correct way of expression, learn to use language to explain things, and express their true inner thoughts.
Therefore, no matter what the parent's reason is, once the child is deprived of the opportunity to speak, the child naturally stops speaking, because they know that even if they do not speak, they can get what they want.
The second reason why children don't speak: Parents often refute their children
The 6-year-old girl is a taciturn little girl, usually does not like to talk, often the teacher asks three questions, she answers one. The teacher invited the parents many times, and the parents also thought of many ways, but to no avail.
Later, when the teacher chatted with the parents of the girls, it turned out that the reason why the girls did not speak was related to the way the parents were educated. In the beginning, the girl who had just learned to speak was a small talker, and often talked to her parents about some unclear things, and her parents would respond to her at this time.
For example, if you want your mother to tell a story, your mother always responds: "Today is too tired, tomorrow to tell it." ”
After being rejected a few times, the girl is not as fond of expressing herself as before, and likes to talk to herself alone. But the mother did not realize it, and still contradicted the girl on different things. For example, if the homework is not done well, the girl is not allowed to speak; the girl does something wrong, and her mother does not allow her to defend.
After a long time, the girl stopped talking, because she knew that even if she said it, it would be useless.
Many parents don't realize how important their gentle responses are to their early childhood children. Children are only willing to talk to their loving parents when they see them, and if the parents keep their faces straight, the children naturally have no desire to talk.
The third reason why children don't speak: too much exposure to electronics
In the early education class, I once met a boy named Babe, who was 3 years old and could only call simple words such as mother and grandmother.
And Babe is very dependent on her mother, as soon as she sees the stranger, she goes straight into her mother's arms and wants her mother to hold him.
Babe didn't react at all like a normal 3-year-old boy in order to better integrate Babe into the classroom. The teacher asked Babe's mother, and learned that Babe was slowly unable to speak because of her premature exposure to electronic products.
When Babe was 13 months old, Babe's mother occupied too much time due to work and housework, and in order not to let the noisy children affect her, she gave Babe her mobile phone to play and let him watch cartoons all the time.
This look was watched for 5 months, when the mother realized that Babe did not like to talk, and wanted to mobilize his willingness to speak again, she found that she was powerless.
Even if She takes Babe to the hospital for examination and treatment, but the effect is minimal, Babe's speech system is still unwilling to open.
In fact, Babe is not the only child who cannot speak because of electronic products, and surveys show that children who are exposed to electronic products too early have poor language systems and concentration.
When you first start to contact talking children, the best way to learn is to imitate, especially the imitation of parents, although there is dialogue in the cartoon, but what attracts children is the colorful picture, not the dialogue.
Over time, children will be addicted to flashing pictures, repulsive to their parents' voices, and naturally unwilling to learn to speak.
02
Language is an indispensable tool for every child, not only can they speak their own ideas, but children with good eloquence and articulate will have more opportunities.
First, speaking can exercise children's comprehension ability
When a child learns to speak, the first word learned is always the simplest to pronounce, and the word will correspond to the character and things, such as when the baby says "mother", the baby knows that the person in front of him is the mother.
The more words a child learns, the more things he can correspond to, which means that a lot of words are stored in your baby's mind.
When there are enough words, your baby starts learning to speak sentences. First of all, the baby knows what he wants to express, then extracts the corresponding words from his mind, and then expresses the sentence in the correct grammar.
This is also the reason why we see babies who have just learned to speak always speak badly, because they need to constantly practice, keep being corrected, and constantly listen to the right sentences to say the right sentences.
Second, speaking can improve children's social skills
When the child is 2 years old, there will be social needs, at this time the social object of the parents or the person who takes care of him, the baby through a short statement to explain their needs, if the parents respond in time, the baby will receive feedback, that is, my expression can attract the attention of others.
In kindergartens, it is not difficult to find that children who can talk are obviously more socially strong, and when playing games, they will often be dominated by children who can talk, and such children are more instructive and are the envy of many children.
Therefore, they have more friends, and the teachers also like to express their children smoothly, which can save a lot of trouble.
Third, speaking can increase a child's self-confidence
When children have self-awareness and gradually develop various emotions, talking children tend to be more confident.
They can express their ideas correctly, get what they want with the help of adults, and communicate normally with their peers.
On the contrary, children who cannot speak can only stand and watch other children play, which is extremely detrimental to the growth of children.
03
Since the child's language development is so important, how should parents guide their children to speak? Here are three tips that I hope will help parents in need.
First of all, parents should provide parents with a wealth of language signals
There is a clip in the documentary "Baby's Whimsical World" that impressed me a lot.
Child experts want to investigate whether how much parents speak to their children will affect the number of words they speak, so they specially arrange a group of families, children have just turned one year old, it is a language sensitive period, and they will simply say a few words.
On the first day, the mother and the child had a very ordinary day, during which the number of words spoken to the child was about 1,000 words.
The next day, the mother made a special effort to talk to the child, regardless of whether the child reacted or not, the number of words spoken on this day was about 2,000 words.
The results showed that the words spoken to my mother on the first day were about 20 words, but the next day it increased to 30 words.
Although the increase in the number of words is not much, it is enough to show that parents speak more to their children, increase their children's input to language, and their output will slowly increase.
At this time, what parents have to do is to increase the dialogue with the child, say good morning in the morning, communicate with the baby when feeding him, tell the baby what he sees when he goes out, and read parent-child reading when he sleeps at night.
Even if the child does not understand it, it does not matter, as long as the parents are willing to say more, the sooner the child will speak.
Second, parents should reinforce their child's expression.
Neighbors' children have just begun to learn to speak, so that children can learn to speak, they can often see neighbors and children "talking", as a bystander will find it interesting.
Whenever a child utters some meaningless syllable, the neighbor will fill the child's words.
When you see a puppy, the child makes a "hmmm" sound, and the neighbor will continue to say, "Baby, this is a puppy." ”
Knowing that the child could not repeat it, the neighbor has been tirelessly supplementing the child's words.
In fact, the neighbor's behavior is correct, because the child's learning process of language is "first collect, then cut", that is, what the child says at the beginning is meaningless to himself, and only when the parents react to some sounds, the children can realize that these words can cause feedback, so they will slowly abandon the voice without feedback.
At this time, what parents have to do is to make a corresponding emotional expression of their children's voices. For example, when the baby says "Mom, Fruit", the mother can help the child say the full words "The baby wants to say, Mom I want apples, right?" ”
Over time, children will learn the correct way of expression, and the number of words they can speak will gradually increase.
Finally, parents try to add different language environments.
As an early education teacher, I often find that after each holiday, children's language skills can be improved.
There was a little boy named Xiao Bao, who went to Xiangshan during the holidays, and during class, he kept chanting words such as "Fragrant Mountain" and "Big Tree".
Mom said it used to take a week to teach a new word, but when she went to a new place, she found that her child's language skills were rising rapidly.
In fact, children are very taboo to stay in the same place for a long time during learning to speak, because the words they learn will be very limited. Parents should take their children out to different environments.
For example, when you go to the park to play, you can let the child see the flowers and trees, pick up a leaf to tell the child the pronunciation of "leaf", and let the child associate this pronunciation with the leaf.
When the child is exposed to more new things, his own curiosity will guide him to constantly ask questions, at this time the parents will give answers, and the child's impression will be more profound.
Children learn to speak, is not a one-time thing, it requires parents to constantly input, and then help children to make the correct output, there is effective feedback in the middle, the child's language ability can rise steadily. Do not let children have more contact with electronic products, do not let mobile phones replace the existence of parents, for children, the best object to learn to talk is always the parents, there is no one.
Teacher Lu Bei, national second-level psychological counselor, senior parenting teacher, university psychology teacher, Bao Mama; multi-platform contracted author, committed to using the most straightforward language to tell, let parents understand the most profound parenting knowledge, grow up with their children!