My friend's child, Youyi, is 3 years old and has entered a sensitive period of interpersonal relationships, and has begun to yearn to socialize with children of the same age.
However, recently, she experienced her first social setback, that is, when she showed kindness to other children and expressed her willingness to make friends with each other, she was rejected, so she was very sad and ran to ask her mother: "Mom, why doesn't anyone else want to play with me?" ”
My friend didn't know how to deal with it, so he asked me. In fact, many parents will encounter this situation of their children, and many parents do not know how to better answer their children, so today we will talk about this topic together, hoping to help parents.
I remember watching a parent-child show, in which Cai Shaofen's daughter encountered similar social setbacks, when the child went to complain to Cai Shaofen, Cai Shaofen gave a very good answer, she said to her daughter: "I think your feelings are real, and I also accept your feelings." The one thing I teach you is that you smile a little more, you take the initiative, you do it yourself, and they will definitely be attracted to you. If you're still calculating, you'll always be an unhappy person. ”
As a parent, we can not replace the child to make friends, and at the same time can not always guide him, what can be done is to give the child enough understanding, and to guide him in a timely and positive manner, let him experience, to grow, and truly gain the ability to make friends.
1. It doesn't matter if you're rejected
Of course, children are frustrated by social rejection, but it also takes courage to be able to express their desire to make friends.
As a parent, you should first affirm the courage of the child, and then gently reassure the child: "Baby, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter if you are rejected." ”
In fact, rejection in social is the norm, the key is to teach children how to deal with their emotions, and then actively invest in the new social.
2. Parents guide in a timely manner
When the child's social frustration, parents and children together to analyze the reasons for social failure, if it is a child's problem, such as a bad attitude, parents should remind the child, if you want to make friends with others, you must be friendly to others, so that someone will be willing to make friends with you; on the contrary, if the attitude is bad, then naturally you can not make friends, you will inevitably be frustrated.
If problems can be found in time and solved in time, it can help children better open the door to social interaction.
3. Keep being yourself
In fact, not all people can become good friends, even children of the same age, and parents must let their children understand this.
When the child understands this, he will not lose himself in socializing, will not change himself because of the likes and dislikes of others, and will always insist on being himself.
As long as the child can always be himself, he will always find someone who is willing to make friends with him.
4. Actively associate with people
One thing that is very commendable is that she dares to take the first step of socializing, which is already better than many children of the same age, so for this, my friend should actively affirm the child, of course, if your baby also has a similar performance, don't forget to affirm and encourage him, which is also good for the cultivation of children's social skills.
There are such children who are willing to make friends with others, naturally there are timid to make friends with people, and for such children, parents should create more environments for them to make friends and encourage children to interact with people.
Social skills are not innate, it needs to be cultivated the day after tomorrow, so parents do not feel that the child's personality is introverted, it can not become a "social master", in fact, as long as parents use the right method, no matter what kind of personality of the child, you can master social skills and improve social skills.
Therefore, when the child is rejected, parents pay attention to the above points, I believe that it is very useful for building children's social confidence and cultivating children's social skills.
If you still don't know how to answer the child, you may wish to learn from Cai Shaofen's answer, that is, to first empathize, understand the child, and then give the child the correct guidance, which will be more effective with half the effort!