Freud said more than 100 years ago that most marriages are destined to develop spiritual disappointment and physical exhaustion. In real life, there are too many people who are eager to get married and walk into marriage with each other, but there are also more people who lament marriage with their hearts and hearts for marriage.
Time can prove love and destroy marriage. In fact, a marriage began to decline, from the love of you and me to the taste of chewing wax is not indifferent, there will be several signs, there is one, you will not have a sense of happiness for the rest of your life.
There is no common topic, preferring silence to chat
Silence is the worst state in marriage. There was no quarrel, no infidelity, no hostility toward each other, but it was the most frightening state of marriage, and it was a true portrayal of most people's marriages, as if the longer they were married, the more plain the days became, so plain that I had nothing to say to many.
A fan left a message in the background, saying that she and her husband obviously had no problems, but they just felt that they could not go on. At the beginning of the relationship, the two people said nothing, even what to eat for breakfast can be chatted for an hour, and every sentence hides love and expectation. Later, the two people got married, but there was less and less common topic, and they slowly lost the ability to speak, "You don't care about me, I treat you like a passerby." At this point, she said, like two strangers eating the same meal under the same roof, it is really better to leave early.
After a long silence, the marriage is over, and the marriage that cannot be talked about will eventually die.
In fact, marriage is originally a tedious journey, in the long years, the original freshness will be replaced by eating and drinking Lasa sleep, chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea. And in this tedious and long journey, the only thing that can have some fun is nothing more than two interesting and loving hearts that can chat and talk to each other.
The essence of marriage is to find someone to talk to at any time, and if two people together even talking has become a luxury, it means that there is something wrong with the marriage.
Turn a blind eye to your lover and be indifferent
In a conjugal relationship, the most terrible thing is not cheating, but ignoring it. "You know I need you, but you ignore me", which is the saddest thing. Without caring, not caring, or even ignoring each other's existence, marriage seems to have become a meaningless existence.
Friend Xiao Ai was completely cold to her husband, because of one of her illnesses. That day, she had a fever and did not have the strength to pick up the child in the kindergarten, she called her husband, he did not care about her condition, but blamed her for not getting cold, should not be sick, and now even the child can not be picked up, but also asked him to take a leave of absence to run.
When the husband took the child home and saw the cold pot and cold stove at home, he began to have a bad temper, blaming Xiao Ai for being too squeamish and not even cooking for a little illness. Then, he took the child back to grandma for dinner. The next day, he busied himself with self-care, not even the slightest "no better points."
People's hearts are cool little by little, and later her husband found out that there were three highs, and Xiao Ai was not nervous at all, and he was too lazy to ask. It was only then that she discovered that their marriage had really come to an end.
If the husband and wife do not care about each other for a long time, they cannot give each other love and warmth, and after a long time, the love will slowly pass away, replaced by ruthlessness and indifference.
Pay to have a return, want to love must first pay love, this is the law of giving, only to understand this truth, to exchange people's hearts for hearts, in order to rely on each other to the end.
He often quarrels over trivial matters and mentions divorce at every turn
Marriage is like two angular stones, smoothing each other in life in order to join hands with each other and accompany each other for a lifetime. However, in reality, couples often quarrel for some trivial matters of life, in the process of quarrelling, women say that they want to divorce at every turn, and after a long time, the feelings are consumed, and the husband and wife also become disheartened.
A netizen complained that his wife was a humble woman, and once because he saw a beautiful woman on the street a few times, he was jealous, constantly mocking him, and even turning out his ex to say things. He didn't want to pay any attention to her, so he went home alone. Unexpectedly, after the wife returned home, she was even more unforgiving, and even started to tear him up and clamor for divorce. At that time, he said, he really wanted to pull her to the Civil Affairs Bureau immediately.
Feelings are like hourglasses, arguing a little less at a time, until it finally becomes an empty bottle, and the fate is over. Feelings can not withstand hysterical tossing, and those who quarrel at every turn and hang divorce on their lips often end up really leaving. If you say more words that hurt your feelings, you will leave a shadow in your heart, even if you don't say it sincerely, but when you say it, you will finally take it seriously.
Shakespeare said that an unsatisfactory marriage is like a hell, a lifetime of chickens and geese fighting, not allowed to live in peace, on the contrary, to choose a satisfactory spouse, you can be harmonious for a hundred years, endless happiness. There are no couples in the world who do not quarrel, only couples who do not know how to cherish.
There is no basic trust between husband and wife
The crisis of trust is the killer of many marriages, the inability of husband and wife to establish trust, the inability to communicate with each other without barriers, and the vicious circle of negative mode of getting along such as cold war, accusation, and complaint.
I have seen such a couple, they had a good relationship before, the income is put together, the expenses are discussed, and the life is happy. Later, because of the appearance of the man's ex-girlfriend, the relationship between the two people began to Waterloo. First, the woman did not trust the man and exercised financial control over him, and later, the man did not trust the woman and demanded the AA system. In this way, two people have their own secrets, unwilling to be honest with each other, they prefer to tell the truth to outsiders, face their other half, either lie and write, or are too lazy to take care of it.
Nina Onil said that trust is the most important trait shared by two people in a marital relationship, and it is indispensable for building a pleasant, growing relationship.
Trust is a double-edged knife, and the more you trust him, the less he will disappoint you; the more you don't trust him, the closer he gets to the way you suspect. When you question your lover's behavior for a long time, you will find that what you suspect is true, and he should make you angry, and he has done everything without landing.
If there is no basic trust between husband and wife, the relationship between husband and wife will be greatly reduced, and the marriage will begin to decline, step by step to destruction.
epilogue:
Some people say that marriage is like two hedgehogs over the winter, close will hurt each other, not close and cold! You have to pull the thorns on each other's side to get close and live a good life!
The killer of marriage is sometimes not an affair, but time. So when you feel that the marriage is declining, you must manage the marriage well and cherish the pillow person.