I am Hui Ge, and I meet you every day in the emotional world. I have a story, do you have wine?
Original articles, without my consent to refuse to reprint.
Guide:
There is a saying:
"The essence of love is nothing more than equal exchange.
Although this sentence is somewhat absolute, it also speaks of the materiality that is difficult to remove in love.
In general, when a person chooses a partner,
Must be attracted to something in the other person.
It's either wealth, or looks, character or family, and it's what attracts others that makes someone "valuable." Will let the other party have the impulse and desire to live for a long time.
However, many people overlook the problem that the choice in love is a two-way street.
When you are picking at each other's values, the other party will also use these values to measure you.
Therefore, if the gap between men and women in terms of conditions is too large, even if others try their best to match, it is difficult for them to live the rest of their lives together.
1. The man actively prepares for the wedding, but the woman asks to add a name to the real estate deed
Xiao Qiong is 33 years old this year, tall and exquisite, and has a high return rate when walking on the street. However, although she had more suitors in her twenties, because her vision was too high, she had been picking and choosing, and she was still alone.
To this day, although Xiao Qiong's youth is still there, her face has been difficult to hide the wind and frost of the years. Although she is still single, many of her original suitors have either married or turned to other "battlefields" and left her. So she often lamented: Why is she unlucky and has not met someone she likes?
For Xiao Qiong's complaints, the girlfriend gently comforted her: it was just that the fate had not arrived. But the girlfriend knows in her heart that excessive requirements are the main reason why she is single.
It turned out that when Xiao Qiong was 25 years old, she once met a very nice man. He is a civil servant, self-motivated, and has good family conditions, which seems to be an ideal marriage partner in the eyes of Xiao Qiong's parents and relatives and friends.
Xiao Qiong was also quite satisfied, so the two people quickly fell in love, and soon came to the point of talking about marriage. The man's family bought a new house for the little two in full, and also negotiated a good bride price, just waiting for Xiao Qiong's consent to start the wedding.
Unexpectedly, at this time, Xiao Qiong suddenly put forward a request that she thought was reasonable: to add her name to the property deed.
The boyfriend thought twice and finally refused her request. He said that if two people get married and live well, the house can live in for a lifetime, then adding a name is just a superfluous move. And the new house was bought by his parents in full, he spent money to decorate, Xiao Qiong neither paid nor contributed, and wanted to add a name to make him wonder whether it was for the future divorce to be able to divide the property.
The boyfriend thinks that Xiao Qiong has some thoughts, but Xiao Qiong thinks that her boyfriend is not sincere enough. Xiao Qiong felt that she only wanted to have a guarantee for her future life, which was not too much.
Because of this, the two families quarreled endlessly, and finally tore their faces, and the two did not come together.
2, the girl is fruitless in her search for love, lamenting that it is not easy to marry
The girlfriend was shocked to hear that Xiao Qiong and her fiancé had broken up. In her opinion, this man is indeed very good, even it can be said that it is difficult to find with a lantern, and she can't understand why Xiao Qiong would give up a beautiful marriage because she insisted on adding her name to the property deed.
After experiencing this incident, the girlfriend thought that Xiao Qiong would learn from the experience of failure, and when she talked about love in the future, she would know how to lower her posture and no longer cling to it. But I didn't expect that after that, Xiao Qiong seemed to be holding her breath and had to find a better man than her ex-boyfriend. But as she gets older, the boys she pursues around her are also inferior to one.
Xiao Qiong became more and more anxious, but she also refused to lower her mate selection standards. In her opinion, the older a woman is, the more she has to plan for her future. She said to her girlfriend: "If a man can't even afford to buy a house, where will I be guaranteed when I marry him?" Even if she prepares the marriage room and has a good character, if there is no my name on the marriage room, what is the meaning of my marriage? You say, am I asking for too much? The girlfriend was speechless.
After the age of 28, Xiao Qiong's suitors around her became less and less, and the object of the matchmaker's introduction to her was even worse than before. The girlfriend was anxious and persuaded her: "When a woman reaches the age of 30, the men with good conditions have long been robbed by others, and the rest is more or less."
A bit of a drawback
, you don't have to look down on the high hand. ”
The girlfriends all talked about this, but Xiao Qiong still refused to compromise. She no longer pursues the other party's family conditions and external conditions such as appearance, but still adheres to the bottom line of "buying a house in full and adding my name".
The girlfriend repeatedly shook her head, but The 30-year-old Xiao Qiong told her: "I have given up many of the previous conditions and left only such a small request, is it excessive?" ”
The girlfriend can only smile bitterly. Seeing that xiao qiong could not be persuaded to change her mind, the girlfriend could only watch her search so hard, and she was still single at the age of 33.
3. Hui Ge comments
Although Xiao Qiong's experience is a case, in real life, many girls insist on adding names to the real estate deeds, proposing sky-high dowries, and demanding full purchases when they get married.
It is understandable that girls want material protection when they get married, but if it is only a unilateral payment by the man, then this material requirement is a kind of unreasonable demand, not only can not get the approval of the other party, but will make people look down.
When a man falls in love with such a woman and marries, the marriage loses the basis of love and becomes a transaction. However, girls must not forget that the house is not only the security of women, but also the foundation of men's foothold, but also the hard work of the man's parents for a lifetime, so no woman will not care. If the woman does not pay enough, when she rushes to ask for her name on the property deed, it will also make the man question: What is the purpose of your marriage?
Many times, the root cause of the older young women being left behind is that they cannot assess their own value, and they only hope that the other party can meet their requirements indefinitely, and the final result is that the good cannot be reached, and the bad cannot be seen.
Therefore, whether it is a man or a woman, when choosing an object, it must be realistic, the conditions match, and then through common struggle, to create the wealth of their own family, such a marriage is more appropriate and reliable.
What do you think of Xiao Qiong's insistence on thinking? Welcome to write your own shining opinion in the comment area!
Since you see this, please like and share it again! Press the recommend button to recommend the article to more people. Thank you! （End）
About the author: Hui Ge, a middle-aged uncle who has been running, hopes to use his clumsy words to wake up those who are sleepy.
#情感 #