Generally speaking, whether it is a bride price or a dowry, most young people are still young and their income is not high when they get married, so this amount of money is basically borne by their parents. As for whether to give the bride price in the end, in fact, there are many opinions, after all, everyone's position is different, and the opinions are naturally different.
For the man, there are many places where marriage costs money, and it costs money to get married. If the bride price is only symbolic, it may be OK, if there is more, the pressure will be very large, and it will naturally produce dissatisfaction, so the man will generally think that the bride price is an unnecessary form of existence. But for the woman's parents, if the daughter who has worked hard to raise herself is not even willing to express the form of the bride price, it is insincere.
If the bride price and dowry are used as the starting funds of a small family, and there is this marriage process in the local area, it is better to have these forms. As for the amount, it is set according to each other's ability. Of course, when you meet two parents who can be reasonable, these are all negotiable. However, if you meet a relative who wants face and compares everything with others, then the possibility of finally collapsing is not impossible.
Li Qian was born in an ordinary family, is an only child, and her parents are also very fond of her. When she was 10 years old, her father died of illness, and her mother pulled her to grow up alone, although it was difficult, but she did not suffer Li Qian in terms of food and clothing. Therefore, Li Qian's feelings for her mother are very deep, she understands her mother's difficulties, and she is willing to accommodate some of her mother's paranoia.
But she never dreamed that it was precisely because of her obedience to her mother that she finally let her mother mess up her marriage because of her face problem.
In Li Qian's view, the mother, who is good everywhere, wants face. Naturally, her good face has become more serious since the death of her husband. Because there is no male master in the family, orphans and widows, there are indeed people who look down on Li Qian's mother and son. Li Qian's mother was incomparable to others, because there were too many, so she compared herself to her own sister.
The mother earns money alone to support the family, and the sister-in-law's family is a couple who make money together, in fact, there is no comparison at all. Therefore, Li Qian also gently advised her mother many times, but there was no effect, her mother was to compare, and she was not tired of it. What appliances the aunt's family has changed, the mother will also buy a new one after she knows it, and it must be a little more expensive than the aunt's family, even if it is a few hundred yuan, she feels comfortable in her heart and speaks hard.
Later, whether it was buying a car or building a new building, Li Qian just watched her mother like this, tired of getting sick, and also had to keep up with her sister-in-law's footsteps. In fact, Li Qian does not feel that such a life is very happy, she feels that good health and family reunion are more important than cars and buildings. But with the replacement of things, more and more money needs to be used, and Li Qian's mother can't suppress her sister everywhere after all.
In those years, Li Qian's mother's mood has not been very good, a person who likes to compare and wants face, everywhere is not as good as others, it is really difficult to accept. Fortunately, Li Qian was later admitted to a prestigious university, while the daughter of her sister's family was only admitted to a specialist. At this time, Li Qian's mother was proud again, and when the family gathered, she would talk about Li Qian's university from time to time. But this happiness did not last for several years, and Li Qian's sister soon made a boyfriend after graduating from college.
The boyfriend's family is very rich, and he is considered to be the second generation of the rich, so even the life of Li Qian's sister has improved. Naturally, Aunt Li Qian's life is also better, before the family conditions were only ordinary, now eating and wearing are like rich people. At this time, Li Qian's mother was depressed, and she insisted on not letting Li Qian go to graduate school, so she cried and made trouble, and had to toss her daughter back.
Li Qian was distressed by her mother, and finally returned to her hometown, and just after finding a job, her mother asked someone to introduce her to the blind date. I heard that other conditions are not important, as long as there is money, Li Qian knows, crying and laughing. She really couldn't accept that her mother should also compare herself with her aunt in her marriage, and for the first time she had a quarrel with her mother, and she was unwilling to go on a blind date with the so-called rich man introduced by her mother. The door is not the right family, Li Qian does not dare to marry.
In this way, she dragged herself out of the blind date, endured her mother's nagging and counting, and finally met her boyfriend at work. Li Qian's mother did not agree with her daughter's relationship at first, after all, she was not the child of a rich family she had chosen. But Li Qian was not young at this time, and she could only compromise in the end.
Originally, Li Qian thought that since her mother had agreed, even if she reluctantly agreed, there would be no problem in this marriage. But when Li Qian and her boyfriend began to talk about marriage, her mother began to produce moths. She did not talk about the dowry, but asked the son-in-law to give a dowry of 500,000 yuan, and the marriage room must be a villa. At that time, the two parents were present, and li qian's boyfriend's parents had extremely ugly faces.
Li Qian knew in her heart why her mother made such a request, and she knew that this was the beginning of her mother's comparison heart again. The mother has a good face, when the daughter of the aunt's family got married, it was a dowry of 400,000 yuan, a four-bedroom and two-hall marriage room. So when she arrived at Li Qian, her mother asked for a dowry of 500,000 yuan and a villa. In the face of her daughter's complaints, the mother said: "This is my last chance to earn face, besides, the bride price is sincere, if your boyfriend can't even do this, what true love is talking about." ”
Li Qian was speechless, the boyfriend was born in an ordinary family, although he worked for several years, but he did not have so much savings. Even if you add the savings of your parents, it is impossible to do so many dowries and buy a villa as a marriage house. To put it bluntly, when Li Qian and her boyfriend discussed privately, it was symbolically to give a dowry of less than 100,000 yuan, and then the two families took out a loan down payment to buy a school district house, so that the marriage room and the matter of the children going to school in the future were solved.
But the mother made such a disturbance, things were messed up, and the marriage between the two was shelved. At first, Li Qian's boyfriend still wanted to persuade Li Qian's mother with Li Qian, but he later found out that he could not be convinced. A good face has been engraved in the bones of Li Qian's mother, and Li Qian, because she is distressed by her mother, she really has no way to face her mother's tears. In the end, Li Qian's boyfriend proposed to break up, saying that he had had enough, and that he married to live a life, not to earn face.
After the divorce, Li Qian was injured, and while she had not yet told her mother about the breakup, her mother still urged her to prepare the bride price and villa. Li Qian broke down and cried, saying: "Neither of us has much money, the bride price and dowry are the savings of the parents, how can you ask the parents for so many bride price?" How much dowry have you prepared for me? Now that the other party has withdrawn from marriage, are you satisfied? ”
When the mother learned that her daughter had been divorced, she was silent for a long time, and then carefully said: "Break up and break up, you find another one, can you be poorer than him?" Li Qian smiled angrily, she suddenly felt cold to her mother, for so many years, because it was not easy for her mother to raise herself, she has always been obedient to her mother, but now in exchange for her mother's "inch forward". Li Qian didn't want to continue like this, and since she couldn't change her mother, she should change herself.
After a month, Li Qian left her hometown, and she told her mother that she was going to go outside for a few years. Whether it is a career or a marriage in the future, it will be decided by itself. As for her mother's pension, she will not leave it alone. But not now, now she wanted to live in obedience to her heart. Whether Li Qian's mother regrets it is not known, but because of her good face, it affected her daughter's marriage, and it also affected her and her daughter's feelings, which is really unnecessary.
As the saying goes, "people want faces, trees want bark", in fact, a person wants face, it is not a big problem, everyone wants their lives to be bright and beautiful. But if you want too much face and live for face, it is too tired. There is a saying that says, "To die is to be guilty of face." "It means that those who care too much about face, in order to satisfy vanity, in order to earn face, and pay some unnecessary price, too unworthy."
There is a saying on the Internet: "Face is the most difficult and most useless thing for a person to put down." So, don't live for face. Many people, precisely because they first threw away face, but finally got face. And those who stubbornly hold on to their faces and do not let go of their hands, in the end, they did not protect their faces. Just like Li Qian's mother in the text, she obviously has an obedient and sensible daughter, but for the sake of unwarranted face, she makes her daughter chill. In the end, the face she wanted was not obtained, and the daughter left her side, so why bother?
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