01
People are old, half awake, half confused, the most rare.
No matter what has happened in this life, what has been gained, what has been lost, it is all a passing cloud, and there is no need to remember too clearly.
Many people think that after the age of sixty, as long as they have money, they will be blessed. They don't know that money can change lives, but blessings are priceless and can't be bought with money.
Therefore, when we prepare pensions and deposits, we must also prepare a good mentality, as well as a good family atmosphere and living environment.
02
First, learn to be confused about the interaction between daughter-in-law and son-in-law, and reflect the tolerance of being a person.
The mother of the Ming Dynasty thinker Yuan Yifan was very kind to her five daughters-in-law and loved her as her own daughter.
Once, the second daughter-in-law made mandarin fish soup and asked the children of the family to give to their mother-in-law (Yuan Yifan's mother) to eat. But the child was very greedy, hid aside, and ate the fish soup alone.
After a while, the second daughter-in-law asked, "Mom, is the mandarin fish soup delicious?" ”
The mother-in-law was stunned for a moment, and then said, "It's delicious." ”
It was obvious that the old man had lied in front of his daughter-in-law. But because of this, the family has less quarrels and recognizes the filial piety of the daughter-in-law. On the other hand, God understands the nature of children and does not blame children.
There is such a sentence in "Dream of the Red Chamber": "You don't argue with your mother, she is old and confused, but let her take a step." ”
The old man has established a "confused" image in front of his daughter-in-law and son-in-law, so they will not consider the fault of the old man. A "old fool" put everything in it.
03
Second, we should learn to be confused about the contradictions between our neighbors and show an attitude of active reconciliation.
Knowingly, the netizen "night shop owner" said such a thing: the neighbor's family likes to play cards until late at night, and they also turn on air conditioning and TV, which is very noisy.
At first, his family and neighbors quarreled many times, and the contradictions became more and more prominent.
Later, his uncle took a few colleagues and invited the neighbor's men to drink every three to five minutes, and everyone was particularly familiar with each other. The neighbor's house has less time to play cards and watch TV, and in case the neighbor's house gets into a commotion, his father knocks on the door and becomes quiet.
We live in a humane society, and to deal with contradictions well, we must use "human feelings" instead of using systems all the time.
After the age of sixty, we all have the habit of nagging, so gossip will spread in the community and in the small village. It's all a small matter of the East Parent and the West Family, and if you calculate, it will be very annoying.
You take the initiative to reach out to the neighbor to indicate a "handshake", the neighbor may not necessarily appreciate it; you reach out again and again, and the neighbor will shake your hand once. Don't worry, what we have is patience.
04
Third, learn to be confused about the enmity between brothers and sisters, showing that you cherish your fate and do not blame the past.
I like this sentence: "Life is a process, fighting to and fought, an emptiness." ”
The enmity between brothers and sisters is not empty, but is mostly caused by the distribution of family property and the unfair arrangement of parents for their children.
If you have to think about it, the new clothes and shoes you wear as a child, and the meals you offer to your parents when you grow up, will become emotional pain points.
Sixty-year-olds, you should think like this: If you don't take the initiative to make love to your brothers and sisters, then your sons will also compete with each other and turn against each other.
Your children are noisy every day, what do you rely on for the elderly? How can there be blessings?
You have a lot of money and can't spend it all, but when you can't walk, you still have to arrange it for your children. No matter how good the babysitter you hire is, it is not as thoughtful as the children. After all, there is no feeling in the world that can replace the "blood feeling".
For the grievances of brothers and sisters, you do not care, take the initiative to carry gifts to visit, people's hearts will be relieved.
05
Fourth, learn to be confused by gossiping about the outside world, so that your mind can become peaceful and not disturbed by external objects.
Today's society is good, but there are also some messy elements. For example, the mixed network makes people unable to understand who is a good person, who is a bad person, and who is spreading false news.
The old man's ability to distinguish gossip is relatively poor, so be confused and not be more truthful. Many things, do not have to break the casserole to ask the end, let it has been a "confused account".
Especially for those who like to provoke, you have to laugh it off and let the other party leave bored.
Sometimes, the old man can also "keep his ears out of the window and read only the books of the sages." Enjoy some quiet time and the blessings will flood into your heart.
06
Fifth, for the development of children's lives, learn to be confused, that is, to really let go of children and let them fly freely.
There is such a thing in the "Yuan Family Training": During the Ming Dynasty, Yuan Biaolu went to Zhejiang to take the exam, because his understanding of the article was not deep enough, and he did not pass the exam. But the article itself was wonderful, was used as a model article, and was rewarded.
Yuan Biaolu's mother, Li Shi, said: "Wen can be in the middle but not in the middle, it is called fate." If the text is still not working, although the fate is not fatal. ”
Later, Yuan Biaolu was admitted to the jinshi, and someone came to the door of the house to announce the good news. Li Shi was not happy, but said, "I still have to work hard." ”
For the achievements of children, a brush stroke is passed, and it is understated. Parents do this to really let go. It also verifies that sentence - to gain calmly, to lose indifferently, and to go with the flow.
After the age of sixty, you must know about the affairs of your children, but do not interfere, do not force them how to live. Life is full of ups and downs, and you can't expect any of your children to have a smooth life.
07
I like this passage very much: "The more water in the bowl, the less rice; the more grass in the eyes, the less flowers; the more resentment in the heart, the less the aroma; the more noise in the ears, the less music... There are more things that should not be known, and the things that should be known are not known. Therefore, it is rare to be confused, to know that you don't know, all in the past. ”
For the elderly, confusion is "willing to be stingy, willing to take money to the younger generation, willing to take the initiative to bow their heads and reconcile, willing to reconcile with this society", which is the symptom of loss, in the long run, it is the ancient precept of "suffering a loss is a blessing".
The rest of your life is not long, learn to carry the understanding and pretend to be confused, life will become warm.
In this life, in addition to life and death, it is all small things, and once confused, small things will "disappear".
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.