Text: Xi Xihuan
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It is said that marriage requires two people to manage with their hearts, if they are all from their own nature, like sweet words, and if they are in a bad mood, they will not be able to get along, then even if two people have a fate, they will eventually be worn out.
Each of us has a different definition of a happy marriage, some people feel that two people have to stay together is a home, if you gather less and leave more, even if you make more money, it is meaningless, and the feelings of husband and wife will inevitably be affected;
And some people feel that in a good husband and wife relationship, even if they are not around each other, but it is enough to have each other in their hearts and to have this home, after all, the efforts made are for each other.
In any case, a happy marriage has its own reasons, and the most important thing is always the heart for the other party, as long as the heart that loves the other party does not change, the other principles are all in line with the trend.
Therefore, in a happy marriage, the relationship between husband and wife is actually only one word, but unfortunately, many people know that it is too late, winning what they want, but losing what they really deserve.
Friend Shi Lei is a very macho person, no matter what he does is particularly true, which makes him offend a lot of people at work, fortunately, the business ability is strong, speaking with performance, it can also be regarded as mixed in the company.
However, in terms of marriage and family, he is not so smooth, his wife Gu Yu is a very enterprising woman, even after marriage, he also put most of his energy on work.
The two people originally agreed not to have children within five years after marriage, to fight hard for their careers, and to have children when the conditions are good enough, so as not to be so stretched.
However, less than a year after marriage, Shi Lei's parents often gave birth to births, and they still gave their daughter-in-law a look at every turn, which made Gu Yu feel very uncomfortable.
She hoped that her husband Shi Lei would come forward to talk to her in-laws, she was not not having children, but wanted to regenerate after her career was stable, but Shi Lei stood on the side of her parents, thinking that now he earned a lot, and he alone could afford to raise this family, since Gu Yu was a woman, he should fulfill the obligation of teaching her husband and children at home.
Gu Yu listened to Shi Lei's words and for a moment felt that she had married the wrong person, and she was not a person who was willing to obey the mercy, so she began to argue with Gu Lei.
In this way, the two people from the beginning of the quarrel, to the final cold war, a toss is more than half a year, and when Shi Lei wants to talk to Gu Yu again, he is mentioned for divorce.
Gu Yu did not have any feelings for him at all, and wanted to divorce not just because of the fact of having children, she found that in life, every time she encountered differences and contradictions, even if it was just a trivial matter, Shi Lei also had to argue with her that you were wrong with me, and must win.
Gu Yu is not an unreasonable woman, but Shi Lei's attitude makes her feel that she has never received the pampering and pampering she wants in this marriage.
By the time Shi Lei realized her mistake, it was too late, Gu Yu was very determined to divorce, and she hoped that her husband would be a man who could tolerate her and understand her, rather than a man like Shi Lei who had to fight with her for everything.
01 Good husband and wife relationship is indispensable to "endure"
Once heard an old professor say to the students, he said that in their family, he has always had no right to speak, when he first got married, his wife said to him, in the future, the big things in the family he has the final say, small things will not bother him, it is up to her to decide.
When the old professor heard it, his wife was very knowledgeable, and knew that this family wanted to let him be a man, and she was very happy in her heart, and naturally agreed.
However, after most of his life, he found that the so-called big things had never happened in the family, no matter what happened, when he got to his wife, it became a trivial matter, and naturally it was not his turn to decide.
The following students laughed and felt that the old professor was simply a "spoiled wife demon", however, this truth is actually obvious, the old professor lived happily in marriage, and the reason why he is very happy is that he understands how important "forbearance" is in marriage.
Some people will feel that love is equal, since two people have decided to spend the rest of their lives together, then they must respect each other, be in an equal position, and have an equal right to speak, why should they be so tolerant and wronged?
However, when you really love someone, you will understand that the reason why you can endure and are willing to endure is actually because of the love in your heart.
When you don't want to endure, when you are not willing to endure for the sake of the other party, it shows that the love for this person in your heart is still not deep enough.
There are so many trivial things in marriage, after a long time, even a small thing may be a straw that crushes the feelings between husband and wife, and people who know how to maintain marriage will think in their hearts, bear with themselves, endure themselves and do not suffer losses, this matter will pass.
When the anger of the two people subsides the next day, you may find that your patience has been exchanged for the other party's double good for you, and you will naturally be more relaxed.
02 "Forbearance" is for better running-in
Before we enter marriage, we all have all kinds of beautiful fantasies and expectations about marriage, but there will always be collisions between ideals and reality, and marriage is not all beautiful, but also disappointed and sad.
Over time, if you don't know how to solve for yourself, if you don't know how to give your soul a holiday, then you will become more and more tired in this marriage.
Bi Shumin once said: Marriage requires patience, long-term, continuous, and determined patience.
You know, people who really do this will never feel that forbearance is to let themselves be wronged, because after all, they are all mortals, no one can endure grievances all the time, and when negative emotions accumulate to a certain extent, they will always erupt.
People who know how to endure are actually willing to accept their shortcomings and deficiencies because they love each other deeply and tolerate each other, because they understand each other's difficulties and hardships.
I have heard a saying that describes marriage and family, "In marriage and family, there is never a need for right and wrong, let alone win, because home is not a place of reason, but a place of love." ”
Deeply believed, if couples always need to use right and wrong to measure each other's interests and losses, then the marriage has lost the temperature it should have, how can it be long?
Therefore, when you really enter the marriage, you will find that those who can manage the marriage well are often the real wise people, who know how to appreciate and be grateful, and also know how to accept the beneficial side of their emotions, and happiness will be grasped.
END.