"Thousands of miles to help children with babies, fall into a body to complain"
The lament of the retired elderly resonates with the whole network
The weather is getting better and better these days, and there are more and more people walking babies in the community every day
Yesterday, I had just taken my son downstairs and saw several wives gathered around the flower bed in front of me
Grandma Lele downstairs was sitting in the middle, looking red-eyed, obviously wronged
Later, I figured it out
It turned out that Grandma Lele was choked by her daughter-in-law, and the reason was that the old man took the child to the supermarket
As a result, the child wanted to buy a rainbow of sugar to solve the problem, but the grandmother did not agree to consider that the child still had caries
But I can't stand the child who wants to eat, and all kinds of soft and hard bubbles beg her
"Grandma I want to eat, buy me one, please"
"I don't eat, I smell it well"
When the grandmother saw that the child was pitiful, she bought a box for the child for a moment
As a result, when the daughter-in-law came back in the evening, she looked at the sugar on the table and angrily reprimanded the child
"Where did you get the sugar, who made you buy the sugar to eat?"
The child was naturally very scared, and Grandma rushed out to say that she had bought it
So the daughter-in-law said reproachfully
"He has teeth and caries, Mom, don't you know, why don't you pay attention at all?"
The grandmother was also very guilty, so she told her daughter-in-law that the child was very obedient and ate one
Unexpectedly, after the daughter-in-law heard it, she was even more angry
Insist out loud that "it's not a matter of a few, it's a matter of principle"
When Grandma repeatedly stressed that she and her children made an appointment and only ate one, she was also principled
The daughter-in-law did not back down and replied angrily
Just indulge him, that's your principle, and sooner or later it will hurt him
So Grandma Lele was very sad
How can I hurt my children, it is too late to hurt my grandson
And the two agreed to eat only one, she will not give the child to eat the second,
He worked hard from his hometown to help his son with his baby and left his hometown
These years are also not easy, did not expect that one thing did not do right, fell into a complaint!
Listening to the story of Grandma Lele, I really sympathize with the old man
In fact, many times, the elderly will help with the baby, all out of pain for their children, and finally
They have given up their time and energy, and some old people have fallen ill because of it
If at this time, the children do not understand them and do not tolerate them, it is really chilling
01
Is the old man with a baby to enjoy the joy of heaven?
Many children will feel that they have their grandparents and grandparents bring their children
In fact, it gives the old man the opportunity to enjoy the joy of heaven
However, in fact, many elderly people agree to take children
It is entirely out of heartache for the son and daughter, and even forced helplessness
This also means that the elderly with children are completely hard work more than enjoyment
After many elderly people agreed to take their children, they left their homes and moved into the homes of their sons and daughters
Since then, not only help with the children, but also the housework is basically all-inclusive
Doing well is not paid, no rewards
If you don't do well, there are complaints everywhere
It can be said that the elderly help with children, for the elderly, it is a completely difficult thing
So don't take it for granted, be more grateful, be more tolerant
Don't let the old man's "tired and tired, willing" finally become "tired and tired, a stomach grievance"
03
Look at the problem from the perspective of the feelings of the elderly
That afternoon, I listened for half a day next to a few old ladies
It turned out that these old ladies were basically not locals, and many of them came from their hometowns that had traveled thousands of miles
Usually take children during the day and do housework
Sooner or later, they have to cook for their sons and daughters-in-law, some will receive some pocket money, and most of them will have to pay their retirement wages
Listening carefully, these old ladies are not easy one by one
And with children over the years, their biggest feelings are roughly divided into 3 points
For small families, they are outsiders
For many elderly people, although they can be said to have abandoned their families to help their children with their babies
But in the children's homes, they are completely incapable of making decisions
After all, this is a small family with children, and we must respect the daughter-in-law, the hostess
And this point also makes many elderly people feel uncomfortable
The smiling grandmother of Building 7 thinks so
"I have traveled thousands of miles, abandoned my family and business, come to you to help with the baby, you still take me as an outsider, then I will really be very sad"
And for this, Grandma Tiantian thought very openly, she thought
"We're here to help reduce the burden on the kids, and when we don't need us, we'll go back."
So why care if it's an outsider? Anyway, we can't stay long, it's better to open something yourself, so that we can have a good time."
And then she gave an example
"My eldest grandson at that time, just learned to eat by himself, I was afraid that the child was hungry to feed several times, for this reason was not less said by the child's mother, but I thought, when the child goes to kindergarten, I will go back, the child still wants the mother to manage, I think why bother"
I have to say that Grandma's mentality every day is really transparent
After all, the daughter-in-law is not her own daughter-in-law
This feeling is also a feeling that many grandmothers who help with their children will have
Grandma Yanyan felt very deeply about this, according to her
My son is a programmer, 996 every day, and regularly works overtime
But fortunately, income is also available, so the family's life is also very quality
Especially daughters-in-law and grandchildren, whether they are dressed and eating, or all kinds of cosmetics and toys, they buy very diligently
For this reason, the old man feels that the daughter-in-law is a bit extravagant, after all, they now have children
The old man felt that they should still save a little, and she didn't think much about it, so she asked her daughter-in-law to say this
As a result, the daughter-in-law also readily agreed, but the next day the son said her
"You don't care if people spend money, I don't earn it for my daughter-in-law and children."
The old lady is very sad because of this, she said that it doesn't matter if her daughter scolds two sentences, other people's daughters, there will be misunderstandings under the reminder, and the daughter-in-law is not a daughter-in-law
Pay the most, complain the most
Listening to Grandma Yanyan's words, Grandma Xixi couldn't hold back and immediately complained
"What you said is okay, what I am most sad about is that I am busy all day, and the result is thankless, the most paid, and the most complaints"
Let's just say that the night before, she picked up the child from kindergarten
I rushed into the kitchen to cook for my son and daughter-in-law, but unexpectedly, the child overturned the kettle in the restaurant
The little foot burned a large piece, and when the son and daughter-in-law returned, they were naturally very unhappy and scolded the grandmother fiercely
In fact, the kettle was put there by the son at noon, and usually the baby did not go to the corner to play
Seeing his grandson injured, the old man was naturally very distressed, but thinking of the rebuke of his son and daughter-in-law, the old man was still very sad
After all, I put a lot of effort into taking my children, but in the end I ended up with all kinds of complaints, which is really unfair
After listening to a few old people chatting, I suddenly found that in fact, the old man is not easy
At this age, they could already receive a retirement salary and leisurely raise their children at home
However, it is because of the pain of their children that they want to reduce the burden on small families
They would travel thousands of miles to help with the children
And with a child, needless to say the elderly, even young people have times when they are tired and emotional
Therefore, I also hope that all the children will face the various differences and quarrels between the elderly and the baby
I can start from the feelings of the elderly, understand each other, and be more tolerant and grateful
Don't treat them as outsiders, let alone face to face with one set of back sets
Well, that's it for today, what are your thoughts on that
Please leave a comment in the comments section below, see you in the next issue