When the child stares at other people's things and wants to eat, the mother's approach is related to the future of the baby, and it is necessary to be cautious

Hello everyone, I am a tomato mother who practices lifelong learning!

After dinner, the public square of the community is always the most lively place, where parents and children gather to play. Tired of running, Wenwen took out the egg cake made by his mother and ate it. The egg cake was delicious and quickly attracted the other kids. Lele's reaction was the most direct, she turned her head to her mother and said, "Mom, I want to eat too." ”

Lele's mother comforted Lele: "You want to eat, and your mother will go home and make it for you." ”

"Don't! I'm going to eat it now! Le Le lost his temper.

Wen Wen's mother on the side was a little embarrassed to see it, reached out and took out another piece of egg cake and handed it to Lele's mother, saying: "Homemade egg cake, the child wants to eat, let her taste it!" ”

Le Le's mother thanked Wen Wen's mother for her kindness, and she seriously explained: "We just came out after dinner, and the child is not hungry now." She clamored to eat, purely because she saw Wen Wen eating well. Such unreasonable demands cannot be indulged in her. ”

Wen Wen's mother thought that Le Le's mother was making a lot of fuss, and couldn't help but advise: "Why should it be so true for a worthless egg cake?" If your child loves to eat, let her eat it! But no matter how Much Wen's mother persuaded, Le Le's mother insisted that she could not meet Le Le's unreasonable requirements.

This matter has also aroused discussion in the community parenting group, and from my point of view, I am raising my hands to support Lele Mama's approach.

When a child wants to eat something from someone else, why not be satisfied immediately?

Many parents will find reasons for their children, children are young, hungry, see others eating and want to eat, it is normal. If the other parent "pushes the waves" at this time and agrees to share a little with the child, some parents will accept the kindness of others.

But it seems to be a harmless little thing, but it actually has a great impact on the child's life. Don't think I'm exaggerating, in fact, this little thing just reflects the educational pattern of parents.

First of all, this is an unreasonable request.

If the child wants to eat other people's things, if the parent tries to meet it immediately, it is easy for the child to misinterpret his own requirements. Destroying their sense of property rights, not being able to distinguish what is someone else's, and taking other people's things for granted.

Second, it was a dangerous move.

From the perspective of social etiquette, children's casual acceptance of other people's gifts and snacks will make many criminals take advantage of the opportunity to use snacks as bait to abduct children. Therefore, educating children to refuse snack gifts from others is also an education with a bottom line of self-safety, and should not be ignored.

Finally, the ability to resist setbacks is unfavorable

Children who get a response to everything immediately have a weak ability to delay gratification. Once they encounter something unpleasant, they can easily develop a strong sense of anxiety. And even if it is an easily obtained item, it will not be cherished for children, usually only three minutes of heat. Therefore, responding to children in a timely manner is not conducive to the cultivation of their ability to resist setbacks.

So, when faced with unreasonable requests from children, how to delay gratification? The parents' approach is related to the future of the child, so it is not careless!

Firmly refuse and set a bottom line for children to do things

Children are the pearls in the palm of parents, so many parents always refuse to refuse their children's small requests for wanting to eat other people's ideas. But we also need to understand that with the first indulgence, there may be many requests from the child later. Therefore, when faced with children's unreasonable demands for the first time, parents must tell them not to speak righteously.

Of course, there must be a reason to reject the child, and we may as well tell the child at this time. This thing belongs to so-and-so's child, not yours. If you want to eat, then we can go home and eat later, or a little later Mom will take you to buy other food. You can have other options, but this unreasonable requirement just doesn't.

Give your child a quid pro quo so that he learns to weigh the pros and cons

If in the face of parental rejection, the child will use crying to express dissatisfaction, at this time we can also deal with it in a different way. For example, we can negotiate a quid pro quo with the child and ask the child to exchange his favorite toy with other children.

Of course, before the exchange, parents should tell their children to exchange their favorite toys for a snack. If you eat it, your favorite toy will be gone, this exchange is very uneconomical, and there is no chance of regret.

Usually, with the child's favorite toy as bait, the child's firm determination will slowly waver, and the craving for snacks in the hands of others will also be reduced. Of course, there are a few children who will be exceptions, they want to get snacks in the hands of others at this time, so parents may wish to support their children to buy a lesson.

After making him pay a certain price, I believe that the next time the child will not be impulsive and wrong, but knows how to weigh the pros and cons in advance and finally make a rational decision.

When it doesn't make sense, you may wish to divert your child's attention first

Given the child's limited cognitive ability, even if we take a lot of pains to explain the child, the response is not ideal. So at this time, I think it is advisable to adopt a roundabout tactic on the road of education.

Children should eat snacks in the hands of others, if they are hungry, parents can buy other foods for their children to satisfy their hunger. On the contrary, if the child simply can't resist the temptation and wants to eat the snacks in the hands of others, then it is best for parents to divert the child's attention.

We can have the child finish another thing before going to the snack. Many times, the child wants to eat snacks in the hands of others is just a fleeting desire, not to insist on doing this, when the child's attention is distracted, he also forgets to eat snacks in other people's hands.

Delaying gratification may seem cruel, but in developmental psychology it is an exercise of ability. Children with strong ability to adapt to delayed gratification tend to have control over desires, are not easily impulsive, and can hold their breath.

Interactive Topic: How do you do it when your child is staring at someone else's snack, or wants to eat someone else's snack?

Slogan: Learning may not allow parents to cultivate excellent children 100%, but without learning, you can't cultivate excellent children, may every mother become a learning mother!