As children enter puberty, the educational problems that parents need to face become more and more complex. Especially at present, children are exposed to more diversified network information, which also makes them more precocious in emotional development, so early love has become an educational problem that many parents are troubled by.
Neighbor Sister Li found that her daughter, who was in junior high school, suddenly wrote a diary, and thought that her daughter, who had always been close to her, actually had her own little secret, and Sister Li was a little worried. "Shouldn't this child be in early love?" Although she is only in the second year of junior high school, but now the children are generally precocious, if you delay learning, it is bad! ”
Compared with Sister Li's worries, Sister Li's husband is very calm, "Our daughter's vision is quite high, and she should not look at these hairy boys now!" Although her husband is very "optimistic", Sister Li is grumpy. So one night, when her daughter went to the bathroom to take a bath, Sister Li secretly opened the child's diary with a password.
"This child is indeed in love!" At night, before going to bed, Sister Li told her husband about her new discovery. "My girlfriend's mind is also too deep, how did I not find out earlier!" Now that both of us are in love, this is to make me beat the Mandarin Duck! After hearing Sister Li say this, Sister Li's husband was also very confused, "Are you sure that the child is in love?" ”
Soon to the midterm exam, Sister Li's daughter's grades plummeted, originally she was not out of the top three in the class, but now she actually slipped into the middle of the class, and the reason for this is naturally self-evident. Sister Li patiently communicated with the child for a long time, but the stubborn daughter did not want to mention the breakup.
Sister Li, who frequently encounters walls here in her daughter, is very emotional when chatting with her friends, "If I could have found out the situation earlier, there are really a lot of clues in retrospect, if I intervene early, the child's performance will not be so affected so much." ”
The child's behavior in early love is actually very obvious, and parents with a heart can understand it at a glance
Children who are in love are more concerned about their external appearance than before, so parents can pay more attention when they find that their children have suddenly become particularly concerned about appearance and dress. The current children's schoolwork pressure is greater, so they may not care much about self-image management, when the child suddenly begins to spend time on appearance, then it is likely to win the favor of the opposite sex.
Children who like to stay at home suddenly love outdoor sports, and always find ways to "go out" during the holidays. When parents find that their children especially do not like to stay at home, they can pay more attention, if it is not that the child has a conflict with the parents, then it is likely that the child uses this time to get along with the object of his choice.
If a child with a stable emotional state suddenly becomes emotional and often suffers from gains and losses, then parents with a heart can pay more attention to their children. Children in love are likely to fall into entanglement and confusion when facing emotional problems. Girls, in particular, are more likely to be affected by emotional problems in love.
After discovering that a child is in early love, how should parents respond rationally?
For children whose minds have not yet matured and whose emotional state is relatively naïve, early love is naturally a roadblock on their way to growth, and if parents cannot find out in time, this will inevitably cause a series of negative effects on children.
First, try to understand the emotional appeal behind it.
Children in adolescence, under the stimulation of hormones, their psychology and emotions are in a state of rapid development, which also means that their emotional needs are more urgent.
If parents cannot find their children's emotional needs in time, such as lack of security and lack of self-identity, then this is likely to lead to emotional transfer in children, and transfer the emotional needs of parents to the object of love. Therefore, after finding out that their children are in early love, parents should also reflect appropriately on whether they selectively ignore their children's emotional needs.
Second, have an emotional communication.
Parents need to correct their own cognition of early love, if parents can not respect the child's emotional expression at the beginning, then no matter how much communication will not meet the expectations, can not be correctly understood by the child.
Therefore, parents should also be open-minded, try to face emotional problems with their children openly and honestly, and try to deal with emotional problems from the child's point of view to help children distinguish the difference between good feelings and likes and the difference between likes and loves.
Finally, that translates into the motivation to "make yourself better."
Rather than forcefully asking their children to compromise, parents may wish to switch perspectives to guide them. If the child can get the motivation to improve himself from the emotional sustenance. This emotional response, then, does not have to be seen by parents as a "flood beast."
Conversely, if the child does affect learning because of early love, this emotional guidance of the parents to "try to make themselves better" is more positive and meaningful.
When the phenomenon of early love appears more and more frequently, it is not advisable for parents to think of being deaf to ostriches, and at the same time, it is equally likely that a strong blow to stop it is also likely to be counterproductive because it stimulates the rebellious psychology of the child. Therefore, parents should be more flexible and flexible in the face of their children's early love problems, and on the basis of maintaining empathy, they should make method choices.
Pillow Parenting Message:
After the child enters puberty, the problem of early love is concerned by parents. But if parents can pay more attention to their children's daily behavior and emotional changes, then parents who believe that they will find the signs early will be able to take the initiative in this emotional enlightenment.
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