As the saying goes: "Trees are naturally straight." "The tree of talent does not need to be repaired." Later, some people extended this sentence to children: "Man is naturally made." Does this make sense? It cannot be said to be completely unreasonable, but the problem is that the expectations of parents for children are replaced by the necessary education for children. If every child can grow into a talent according to the logic of "human nature", what else should we do to set up a school "education"?
In fact, in the "Family Education Promotion Law" officially implemented on January 1 this year, the responsibilities and obligations of parents in family education are clarified, and those parents who shirk the responsibility of family education will be held legally responsible.
With the in-depth promotion of the "double reduction" policy and the implementation of the Family Education Promotion Law, "family education" has also received unprecedented attention. At this year's "two sessions," CPPCC members of the Taiwan Democratic Self-Government League of Anhui Province collectively submitted a "Proposal on The Phenomena and Thoughts Brought About by the "Double Reduction," proposing that family education should become the second position of education outside the campus as soon as possible.
Su Wenfang, a member of the Anhui Provincial Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference, said: "Family education should strive to stimulate the endogenous motivation of children to love learning, so that the abundant curiosity and good learning habits can help children improve their learning efficiency in school." ”
Since the implementation of the "double reduction" for half a year, off-campus training institutions have been effectively curbed, and children have returned to their families from off-campus cram classes. So, can the child's free time at home be left to himself? How should it be managed? Who is responsible for the child's family education? A series of questions followed.
As far as the overall situation of family education is concerned, the situation is not optimistic, many parents can not effectively manage their children for various reasons, and the situation of laissez-faire is more common; some parents think that children are "straight to nature", there is no need to bother to manage, what children need, try to meet it.
Under the background of the "double reduction" policy, can family education really be carried out in this way? What kind of family education can be conducive to the growth of children?
Let's start with a story like this:
In order to buy his beloved toy, a child took 100 yuan from the family without the knowledge of his parents. After the child's money to buy toys was discovered by the parents, he did not care, but told the child to tell the parents with the money.
When the child took the money to go out to play the game again, he was found by the teacher and told the parents. After this incident, it aroused the mother's vigilance, but the father did not think so: it was enough to change the position of the money.
However, the child not only did not have a "natural straight" later, but the child's behavior became more and more intense. When the news of the child stealing money came again from the school, the parents also realized the seriousness of the child's problem.
The child's parents understood that their children did not grow up according to the law of "tree nature straight".
This example also fully proves that "the tree is straight" has a prerequisite, that is, to educate the child well in his early childhood, and to imprint the mark of "good character" in the depths of his young mind.
So, how do parents implement family education?
Parents should increase their sensitivity to their children's education
The responsibility of parents is not only to let the children eat and wear warm, but also to fulfill the responsibility of "raising", and have not yet fulfilled the obligation of "breeding". Therefore, parents themselves should enhance their sensitivity to their children's education, knowing which is the "crooked branch" and which is the branch that does not need to be pruned when the child grows. Don't fix what should be pruned, don't fix what you shouldn't fix.
So, what problems are urgent? Character issues, habit problems. Specifically, as long as there is a question of "filial piety and faithfulness, courtesy, righteousness, and shame," it is a matter of morality. For example, whether children respect their parents, whether they care about and love their brothers and sisters, whether they know how to be polite and polite in interacting with others, whether they are honest and trustworthy, and whether they start and end well... If you want to give examples one by one, parents might as well look at the Confucian children's classic book "Disciple Rules".
The "Disciple Rules" specifically lists the rules and norms that children should abide by at home, going out, treating others, receiving things and learning, which can become the guidelines for parents to teach their children.
Correct your child's bad behavior habits in a timely manner
Ming, who is in the first grade of elementary school, told the teacher that her eraser was in Xiao Cong's drawer. The teacher told Ming Ming not to be silent, and he would investigate it himself. When the teacher asked Xiao Cong, Xiao Cong said that it was bought for her by her mother, not ming. When the teacher told Xiao Cong's mother, Xiao Cong's mother said that she had not bought such an eraser for her child.
Later, under the hard persuasion of the teacher and his mother, Xiao Cong admitted that he had taken it himself. At this point, both the teacher and the mother are aware of the seriousness of the problem, and the mother reflects on herself for always rejecting the child's requests, causing the child to satisfy herself in this way.
The teacher and Xiao Cong's mother discussed that Xiao Cong should apologize to Ming Ming, and Xiao Cong must accept punishment for her mistake: the mother beat Xiao Cong's hand 3 times with a moss strip to warn her not to take the things of her classmates casually.
Although Xiao Cong's hand is very painful, she remembers one point: you can't take the things of your classmates casually, not Xiao Cong's teachers and mothers, but it is very necessary to trim the "oblique branches" grown by the child in time, if you let it develop, the consequences are unimaginable. Therefore, parents must follow the principle of "prudence at the beginning" in educating their children.
When the child's problem is found, the parents should guide the correction in time, and the priority of the attitude should be treated according to the specific situation of the child. Of course, there is only one purpose: to make them obediently accept the teachings of their parents and not make mistakes again.
Parents should be strict with themselves, leading by example In the process of educating their children, it is difficult to detect all the problems of their children, and often when the children's problems make parents feel helpless, parents will find ways to solve them. When parents begin to realize the seriousness of the problem, in addition to admonishing their children, they should lead by example and use patience to help their children change. Of course, in ordinary times, parents should be strict with themselves, do the right thing, be frank and frank, and not have the heart to deceive others.
A child's "branches" have been crooked for a long time, and when you want to help him cut it, parents must be patient and do not expect the child to immediately change the bad problems. The cultivation of bad problems takes time, and the removal of bad problems still takes time.
Therefore, parents first lead by example, and then slowly help their children change with their hearts. As long as parents strictly demand their children with a gentle and majestic attitude, children will definitely concentrate their nutrients on the "main branch" and grow in a tall and upright direction.