To parents: After the "double subtraction", do this parent, the child benefits for a lifetime!

In 2022, in the context of "double subtraction", how to be a better parent?

In the past 2021, "double subtraction" is a hot word that resonates with many parents. In the past, the intensive parenting and education methods are no longer suitable for the development of the times, and under strict management, there is no training institution for you to "chicken baby" and "inner volume", and many parents have new anxieties.

In 2022, how to escape anxiety and return to the common sense and essence of education is a problem that parents need to think more calmly.

In the new year, how to be a better parent?

This article starts from six aspects, such as parents' self-learning and home-school cooperation, and hopes to provide a good reference for parents.

01

There is no family cooperation

Teachers' efforts will be greatly diminished

A child's growth process is inseparable from school education, but school education without the support of parents is difficult to succeed, so it is said that school and family are an inseparable pair of educators.

Parents are the child's first teacher, and the teacher also shoulders the heavy responsibility of teaching and educating people, teachers and parents are teammates on the same starting point, every word, a heart is for the child to be able to grow healthily, academic success.

The parenting of parents nourishes the child's soul, and the teacher's education develops the child's knowledge, and has a common responsibility and mission: to make the child a talent. Parents and teachers, this pair of teammates, need to trust and cooperate, in the path of children's growth, shoulder to shoulder, walk together.

Teachers usually look at students from a neutral and objective perspective, while parents occasionally carry an element of affection. When parents distrust the teacher, it will also lead to the child's distrust of the teacher, even if the talent of the teacher is ineffective on the child's education, which is undoubtedly a harm to the child's growth.

If education is a big tree, the love and education of parents is the foundation, and the education of schools and teachers is the branch, and the cooperation of both sides can blossom into a pleasing flower.

Trusting the teacher should be a compulsory course for every parent, and parents and teachers have a heart, which is the basis for our good children. I hope that all parents can understand that the better the parents and teachers cooperate, the more successful their children's education will be.

02

Treat children right and make mistakes

Very important

Education scholar Yin Jianli said: A childhood that lacks trial and error is terrifying.

Every mistake can be a turning point in life. The world is uncertain, we can't arrange a perfect life for our children, the only thing we can do is to let them know how to find an outlet from their mistakes and create a new situation, rather than cries in fear.

It is not terrible for children to make mistakes, what is terrible is the way parents treat their children to make mistakes, which will be the hidden sadness in life. If children do not tolerate and accept after making mistakes, only criticism and accusation, it will be more difficult for them to be honest about their mistakes in the future, and they are more inclined to conceal their mistakes. This will make the child always in a panic, gradually become timid and inferior, trembling, and watching the parents' faces.

Similarly, when children make mistakes, excessive pampering and indulgence by parents will harm children. Do not use age, chance and other excuses to help children escape mistakes, children need to be correctly guided, but also need to grow up in mistakes. Indulging in children's small mistakes, accumulating over time, will slowly condense into tomorrow's big mistakes, and may even cause an irreparable situation.

Babies who struggle to sit up, toddlers, are constantly making mistakes and experiencing countless failures before they finally learn to run, which is a necessary journey in children's lives.

03

Usually do not listen to and do not ask

The big mistake is the biggest mistake

Although the main body of learning is the child, the parent is the best helper for the child on the road to learning.

In the process of children's learning, the companionship of parents is particularly important, in this period, please parents do not say "no time, to work", no matter how busy please take a little time to care about the child's learning progress.

In the face of their pressure, chat with him, talk about the heart, and help the child relax the tense nerves. In the face of their delay, parents should spur him in time, properly urge, let him have a sense of urgency.

The effective companionship of parents is the greatest support for children's learning. Parents can not only enjoy the excellent fruits of their children, but do not give, this kind of payment not only refers to the good environment created by parents for their children, the academic investment for their children, but also refers to the companionship and encouragement of parents in the growth of their children.

Similarly, the score of a test is accidental. When the child gets a high score and celebrates happily, parents should also avoid the child's complacency, and when the child accidentally loses, accompany him to accept the results, check the defects and fill in the gaps, at this time, the lessons and anger will only increase the pressure of the child, so that you and the child become more and more distant.

Parents are the child's eternal safe haven, do not let the test results become the touchstone of parent-child relationship, just need a little encouragement, a little patience, the distance between you and the child is closer, the communication will become smoother.

04

Education is conquest, not subjugation

When children grow up, the vast majority of self-knowledge comes from the evaluation of the closest people, especially parents. More important than family education is dialogue, understanding, and using the "authority" of parents to direct children, which will only make children gradually away from you.

When parents and children argue about something, parents always ask their children to act according to their own wishes, and even use threats to force children to change their minds.

"I'm all here for your own good", "I've eaten more salt than you've eaten, and I can't hear my fault", "I gave birth to you, you have to listen to me"... These seemingly reasonable but not very reasonable statements are the most offensive to children.

Parents should completely abandon the parental shelf that is high up and preachy, and become condescending to get along with their children on an equal footing, so that children can become willing to confide in their parents and change from "working against each other" with their parents to happy cooperation.

05

In addition to learning

There are also many qualities that deserve the attention of parents

Children's first priority is to learn, find their ideals in learning, and pave their way to the future with knowledge. But there are some more important than grades, parents should not forget.

First, physical and mental health, in adolescence, especially after high school children are very emotional, negative emotions are also very much. Parents should help their children deal with negative emotions in a timely manner and actively guide them in a good direction. Also remember to encourage your child to participate in sports, walking, playing ball, dancing... It can relieve children's stress while also having good physical fitness.

Second, integrity and diligence, children can have low grades, but they must not be a person who lies and do evil, grades cannot represent everything, and excellent character is what benefits children for life. Do not want to forge ahead, will always stand still, the frog at the bottom of the well is doomed to be unable to understand the aspirations of the birds, to train children to be a hard-working person, so that each step to go steadily, walk meaningful.

Third, the ability to be independent, independence, is the most powerful soft power in a child's life. Children should not be flowers hiding in the greenhouse, they should be like plants in the wild, to experience the death of diseases and insects, wind and rain. Only after experiencing the test of severe cold and heat can it grow into a towering tree. Only when parents let go, children will grow independent wings and roam the clouds.

06

There are no perfect parents in this world

So you don't have to blame yourself

Lovely family, not a group of perfect people gathered, and good parents, but also people with flaws.

The stretched personality and positive attitude displayed by the child can prove that it is not perfect, and it does not delay becoming a good parent at all. Please believe that your uniqueness has its own value, and the energy you exude allows everyone in the family to find the lifestyle that suits them best.

Don't try to be a perfect parent, you should create an example for your child: the elegant and calm demeanor in the face of imperfections in life.

What we seek should not be perfection, but perfect love! Maybe the original intention of you to be a perfect parent is to love your children, but in fact, the pursuit of perfection is the enemy of "unconditional love" and will make you drift away from love.

There are no perfect parents, only growing parents. In the process of educating children, in fact, it is also the process of parents learning to be parents, do not blame yourself, for children, you are the best parent.

Source | Home of Primary and Secondary School Principals and Teachers

Transferred from | Teachers Expo, China Teachers Daily