Children's growth is inseparable from the family, and the family has a great influence on children. Some children are outstanding, while others are bland.
These are all the influences of family education.
As parents, of course, we want our children to become that brilliant person, so what kind of family education is the right one?
Good parents are learned
There are no parents who are born successful, and there are no parents who don't need to learn, successful parents are the result of continuous learning and improvement.
A good mother even said:
Many people think that I am very relaxed, saying that your child is so good, I don't need to care at all, but I don't even sleep at night with one eye open!
A good mother takes precautions, while an unqualified mother is that the child's problem is already so serious that even the teacher has already talked to the child, and she is not aware of the problem.
In the 21st century, the information society has higher and higher requirements for people's quality, and any position requires training and assessment, but it seems that only the birth and education of children do not need training, as if they will automatically go to work and will never be laid off, in fact, this understanding is wrong.
Everyone should learn the relevant knowledge before becoming a parent, and the sooner the awareness and knowledge of how to be a parent, the better, the more adequate.
Good children are taught
I have met hundreds of excellent parents, and one thing they have in common is that they put a lot of effort into educating their children!
Some people may say that there are so many parents who can't read a single word, don't they also educate good children? In fact, illiterate people do not know how to educate, and these parents are also masters of educating their children.
"Focus Interview" once introduced the deeds of An Jinpeng, the gold medalist of the World Student Olympiad.
His family is extremely poor, he was admitted to a key middle school, but he has no money to go to school, his father said that he wants his children to work, and they don't have a job when they go to college, not to mention whether you can be admitted to college I don't know.
But the mother strongly disagreed, and sold the only donkey in the family.
The child was the only one in middle school who couldn't even afford to eat vegetarian food, and the only one who couldn't even afford soap. In this way, the child is all on his own, right?
When I asked in person, I found out that although the mother had not even graduated from elementary school, she had let her children do the four arithmetic well before elementary school.
How many college-graduate parents are able to do that?
Good habits are cultivated
Many parents blame their children's bad habits on the school, on the teachers, on the children, but not on themselves.
In fact, most of the habits in children, whether good or bad, are cultivated by our parents, intentionally or unintentionally.
In fact, parents are teaching all the time, but they don't realize that they are teaching, this is "latent education", which is much more powerful than "explicit education".
Most of the excellent children are the result of high-quality education, and most of the problematic children are the products of the problematic families.
Most of children's problems are not caused by the children themselves, but are the reflection of parents' problems, and parents are often the biggest creators of children's problems, and they are also the biggest obstacles for children to correct their mistakes and shortcomings.
It is not the children who need to be educated, but the parents, and there will be no change in the children without the change of the parents.
There are no children who don't want to learn well, only children who can't learn well; There are no children who don't educate well, only parents who can't educate.
Good grades are all helped
With regard to quality education and examination-oriented education, the whole society must have a correct understanding. Exam-oriented education is an issue that cannot be avoided by schools and parents, and schools and parents need to adapt together.
According to statistics, there are nearly 10 million "idle" minors in the mainland.
The so-called idle minors refer to children who should be studying in school but do not want to study, and choose to drop out of school.
Ninety-four percent of these are the result of academic failure, and falling behind academically, being tired of school, skipping school, and running away from home have become the four steps of juvenile delinquency today.
Therefore, it has become an obligation of our parents to help children adapt to test-oriented education, and the best way to help children reduce their burden is for our parents to become children's mentors, to truly understand their children, and to guide and help children according to their learning characteristics.
Of course, good grades are brought out by school teachers, but in today's fierce competition in exam-oriented education, these good grades are increasingly soaked in the sweat of parents.
Good communication is heard
For parents whose children are entering middle school and high school, there is a common confusion that it is difficult to communicate with their children.
Children who enter adolescence have more conflicts with their mothers who have entered menopause, not only because they are in a period of internal psychological turmoil, but more importantly, the external pressure of both is very great, the children are facing the pressure of going to school, and the mother is facing the pressure of career, which makes it more necessary to strengthen communication.
Most good parents do a good job in this area, and their good communication comes from consciously following these three principles:
- The first step is to listen, which is to let the child speak and understand the real meaning of the child's words.
- The second step is to understand, which is to put yourself in the child's shoes and think about whether it makes sense.
- The third step is advice, because children who make sense don't necessarily take the right action, so parents should give advice here.
Of the three steps, listening is the hardest for parents to do.
The big picture of nurturing children
Intelligence is not the most important, what is more important than intelligence is will, what is more important than will is mind, and what is more important than mind is a person's morality.
Unfortunately, there are fewer and fewer people who value morality now.
As for a person's mind and ambition, it is an overseas strange talk that parents don't want to hear, because it has nothing to do with the current test scores!
In fact, these are the most important things in a person's growth. When we look at biographies, we often have a deep impression of the hero's extraordinary childhood, because this motivation for achievement has a huge impact on a person.
The most important factors, such as will, mind, and morality, are not produced through the preaching of parents, which can produce results through this kind of "explicit education", but through the behavior of parents, that is, "latent education", which is transformed into the flesh and blood of children.
The best way for children to develop a big mind, in addition to the example that parents can do, is to let children read more famous books, read more biographies of celebrities, and let children look at society and themselves from the perspective of celebrities from primary school.
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