Parents who love their children, please don't "punch and kick" to your children.
It's not just kids who like to bully.
The Family Education Promotion Law, which was promulgated on October 23, 2021 and came into effect on January 1, 2020, should have been a guideline for parents who love their children and want to educate their children well.
But unfortunately, the anxiety in the hearts of parents can easily turn into blame for the child's perfection.
Some parents have graduated with a master's degree and a doctorate, which is considered to be a highly educated talent, but they do not know how to tolerate their children, and they jump like thunder and punch and kick each other; some parents have a low status, only a secondary school diploma, but they are generous and benevolent to their children, and know how to respect their children's emotional character.
Therefore, the level of educating children is not how glamorous the parents' academic certificates are, but whether the parents' intentions can be realistic.
All in all, it's about solving the problem, not "fixing" the child.
01
In the documentary "Zero Zero", there is a "bear child" named Chi Yiyang.
Bullying classmates, violent extremism, threats and intimidation are problem children in the eyes of all parents, except for his own parents.
Fortunately, his parents are well-educated, capable and conscious of investing in their children's education after the 70s, while the teachers of private kindergartens are indeed capable and thoughtful, and can give this child the most sincere guidance and supervision.
When a child bullies a classmate, let him reflect first;
When the child robs other people's things, tell him: bullying, no show!
And repeatedly stress in front of the child: I can't give up on you.
As a result, it did not take long for Chi Yiyang to change from naughty and naughty to the "child king" in the eyes of his classmates.
Perhaps it was the more tolerant and enlightened approach to education that made him understand his place in the hearts of his parents and teachers. Therefore, I unconsciously established my self-confidence and open-mindedness in academic life.
You see, no child wants to be looked down upon, and scolding and punishing isn't the only way to solve the problem.
02
Admittedly, even a thousand education experts tried to persuade parents:
Don't hit the child, be careful and hard to sincerely accompany the child!
But "landing" into reality, there will still be many parents, seeing that the child writes a wrong word and scolding, seeing the child's grades regressing, playing, at that moment only consider their own emotional impulses, and do not care about the child's grievances and confusion.
Of course, this can also be understood:
For example, children are mischievous in school, parents are called to the office by the teacher to split their heads and cover their faces, and when they walk out of the school door, naturally there will be parents who can't help but "kick two feet" at the child.
For example, parents are cooking vegetables, children throw stones at the bottom of the building to other people's windows, at this time rush downstairs, where is the time to follow his example? The best way to get a lesson is to slap him twice, then rush home to finish eating, wash the pot, and then sit down and "talk well" with the child.
Another example is the "chicken and rabbit in the same cage" problem, whether you count by two feet or by 4 feet, the child just can't understand. Even if you have been the first and high-scoring bully in your grade since you were a child, you can only be angry with such a child. It is indispensable to give the child a meal of "belt fried meat".
Therefore, although the educational concept and the "Family Education Promotion Law" are scientific and reasonable and comprehensive, for most parents of ordinary families, the most important and difficult thing is actually how to adjust their emotions in time when their children are mischievous and their own jumps, and deal with their children's education problems with a more peaceful and rational mentality.
03
Don't parents who scold their children not know that they are making mistakes?
Definitely know!
But either because the situation is urgent, it is too late to think carefully and weigh it, or because it is too much to think that it is "always correct", so naturally disdainful of choice, more beneficial for children but slow to achieve the education method.
However, every child's heart is sensitive and fragile.
You can't rudely and violently hurt the child's heart, but you can also make the child convinced, take the initiative and consciously realize your vision of his education.
No matter when and where, you can establish the concept of "scolding and threatening" in your child's thinking and understanding, prompting your child's unwillingness to face the scene of parents getting angry, complaining and blaming, and effectively curbing your child's irrational behavior in some cases.
But there should be no indiscriminate and prioritized, as long as the child makes a mistake, he will scold, and when he is naughty, he will be punished.
If your child suddenly discovers one day:
Whether it is intentional or unintentional mischief, the scolding and punishment are the same;
Whether it is reading hard or half-hearted, the results of the test are similar;
Whether it is to achieve results or progress, in the eyes of parents, they will never be as good as other people's children.
Then for children, I am afraid that the "stick education" that is unreasonable and only relies on action will lose the corresponding educational significance and disciplinary effect.
Therefore, the promulgation and implementation of the Family Education Promotion Law has extremely profound implications for the education of many parents and families:
Parents who only scold do not know how to educate at all.