Sanmao said: "Sometimes marriage can also make a woman lose herself, otherwise, there should be many more outstanding women in the world." ”
When faced with feelings, it is easy for women to lose themselves. For love, you can give everything you have, you can not care about your own gains and losses, and even become very humble, just in order to be able to retain the heart of a man.
It's just that women haven't thought about it yet, and love is never made by paying and moving. It's not that the more you give, the more men will love you. On the contrary, the more women pay, men will feel that women's love is cheaper, since they can get women's sincerity without effort, why should men cherish it?
This habit lasts in love for a long time, and the man's love begins to dissipate. Until the day when love completely disappears, men will decisively choose to leave, and at that time, the sad one is the woman herself.
In the best love, a woman can love a man very much, but she must not let herself be lost in love, let alone give her all.
When in love, women encounter such a situation, even if they lose a love, they can wait for the arrival of the next love again, and there will not be too much price. But for marriage, it is different, because there are too many involved, if a marriage fails, the blow to the woman is still very large, and finally it will be called "divorced woman".
Admonish married women: What makes a man pampered all the time is not the woman who is willing to give her all for love, but the woman who can do everything.
When Wang Meng and Yu Jie fell in love, Yu Jie was very fond of Wang Meng, and in the eyes of others, Wang Meng was an enviable woman.
This happiness has been brought to marriage, just a few years after marriage, Wang Meng is very glad that he married the right person, in order to live such a happy life. However, this happiness has not lasted for a few years, and the relationship between the two has changed a lot.
The reason for this is because Wang Meng is too weak and too bottomless. After marriage, Yu Jie developed some bad habits, and Wang Meng sometimes complained and set some rules for Yu Jie. However, every time Yu Jie made a mistake, as long as Yu Jie said a few nice words, Wang Meng's heart softened.
Because Wang Meng's heart was soft, Yu Jie did not change those bad problems at all, but became more and more excessive, which made Wang Meng lose Yu Jie's favor.
There is a saying in Walden: Time determines who you will meet in life, your heart determines who you want to appear in your life, and your actions determine who can stay in the end.
In Wang Meng's marriage, it seems that Yu Jie is at fault, but in fact, these are all problems that Wang Meng has given him. If her attitude can be tougher, and if she can do what she says, Yu Jie will naturally have some restraint.
In love, habits are especially important. A woman's behavior directly feels that she can always keep the favor of men. Women lose their principles, and men naturally have nothing to fear, they don't feel that it is a problem, as long as they say a few nice words every time they can cover up their mistakes.
Compared with Wang Meng, Chen Yumei is a very principled woman, even if it is for love. It was precisely because of her attitude that Tang Hao knew that she was a woman who did what she said, and naturally did not dare to break those rules at will.
For example, once, Tang Hao lent money to a friend without Chen Yumei's knowledge. Originally, the pressure on the family was relatively large, and there was not so much money to borrow, and it was not known when others would pay it back.
Tang Hao explained that those were all friends, and since others had said it, it was not easy for him to refuse.
Chen Yumei said that this time it would be forgotten, if there was another time, borrowing money without her knowing, then she could only save this money herself.
Tang Hao did not take her words seriously, and not long after, the friend found Tang Hao again and wanted to borrow some more money, and Tang Hao also lent out the money again.
After Chen Yumei knew about this matter, she didn't say anything more. But from that day on, whatever Tang Hao wanted to buy, Chen Yumei didn't even hear it, and the food at home was basically vegetarian.
After a month of such a life, Tang Hao finally couldn't bear it, and he took the initiative to apologize to Chen Yumei, saying that such a thing would not happen again in the future. After this incident, Tang Hao had a new understanding of his wife, knowing that she was a woman who did what she said, and the relationship between husband and wife was getting better and better.
Yang Lan said: "The most tenacious bond of marriage is not children, not money, but spiritual growth together. Love is sometimes a kind of righteousness. ”
Between husband and wife, what is most needed is this kind of common growth, and they can stand on the same position when they encounter things. If the husband and wife are not on the same front, time will make the gap between husband and wife grow larger and larger. When I understand it again, it is too late.
As a woman, don't always think that men will always spoil you and will always care about your feelings. If women are too weak, or only like to listen to men's rhetoric, without their own principles, men will only become more and more unscrupulous. In such a marriage, how can a man always spoil you and always value you?
Shakespeare said: "Unsatisfactory marriage is like a hell, a lifetime of chickens and geese fighting, can not live in peace, on the contrary, choose a satisfactory spouse, you can be harmonious for a hundred years, endless happiness." ”
In marriage, women not only need to demand that men get better and better, but also have to demand themselves and not be a humble, unprincipled woman.
A good marriage is never encountered, but is cultivated with habits.