In love, there is a situation that makes girls very worried, that is, to meet scumbags.
As the saying goes, there will always be a few scumbags in a lifetime, but it is not normal for you to always find a scumbag from the crowd to love. Let's take a look at what is going on with the scumbag harvester physique and how to crack it.
There is a Japanese movie that is both heartfelt and heartfelt, called "The Life of the Abandoned Matsuko". This movie tells the story of the heroine Matsuko, who pursues love all her life, but can't ask for it. Let me briefly introduce the plot of this movie. Matsuko has a frail and sickly sister, and her parents give almost all their love to her sister, always blindly favoring her sister and snubbing Matsuko.
For example, when her father came home from work with a beautifully wrapped gift in his hand, Matsuko saw it and immediately greeted her, and she envisioned her father handing her the gift.
But the father just handed Matsuko the briefcase in his hand, didn't say a word with a straight face, and then went to his sister's room with the exquisite gift. In this family, there are fun and delicious foods, parents are given priority to the sister, and even a smiley face is not willing to give to Matsuko.
By chance, Matsuko found out that she had grimaced her father, and his father would laugh. Only then would her father smile at her. Therefore, Matsuko always takes every opportunity to grimace her father, as long as she can get his father to pay attention to her, she does not care about anything, and pleasing her father in her heart is the top priority.
Finally, one day, Matsuko was fed up with her parents' eccentricity and ran away from home in a huff, and since then she has turned on the scumbag harvester mode.
She has talked about 5 boyfriends, but all 5 of them are scumbags. There are poor people who force her to be a bathroom girl, those who use her money to support their mistresses, and those who vow to stay together for a lifetime, but eventually become a family with other women.
The end of every relationship is pine nuts being abandoned. She always puts herself into a relationship without even thinking about it, but whenever she feels that the man pays a little attention to her, she will desperately give, even if it is abused and beaten by the man, she does not care.
As she herself said: "As long as I am with this person, hell is good anywhere, I follow him, this is my happiness." 」 ”
If you go to see this movie, you're probably going to jump to your feet and want to tell Matsuko, "Can't you see that's a scumbag?" Isn't that obvious enough? "I'm going to tell you, Matsuko is looking for such a scumbag." Don't be in a hurry to doubt life, listen to me slowly explain to you.
There is a word in psychology called "compulsive repetition", how to understand it? For example, like Matsuko, who is always attracted to men who ignore her and abuse her;
Or maybe some people will always meet a strict female boss, and then confront the boss again and again at work. That said, there are scenes or experiences that always come up over and over again in your life, and most of them are experiences that make you feel miserable.
You will also find that the principle of eating a long and wise one does not work at all at this time, and a person can be repeatedly tripped by the same stone, and may fall very badly every time. This is called compulsive repetition, and it will allow you to accurately find a scumbag in the crowd to love.
So why is there "compulsive duplication"? You can simply understand it as saying that we are constantly creating opportunities for ourselves to practice problems that we have not solved in the past. Notice that I used a word called "creating opportunity," which means that a person stumbles on the same stone repeatedly, not because he is unlucky, but because he has been looking for such a stone in his subconscious.
Still explained by Matsuko's experience, when Matsuko was young, what she experienced from her father was indifference, neglect, and even some psychological abuse. She has always courted her father and wanted to get his love, but she never got it, which was a major problem that she did not solve in her childhood.
In her adulthood, none of the men she looked for really loved her, didn't care about her feelings, or even had violent tendencies. But she is still flattering, dead hearted to pay.
Matsuko's relationship pattern with these men is very similar to her relationship model with her father. The reason why she loves these scumbags desperately is because in her subconscious, she hopes to have the opportunity to make up for the regret of not being loved and not being noticed when she was a child, and to meet the psychological needs of those who were particularly important to her when she was a child, but did not get from her parents.
In fact, the phenomenon of compulsive repetition not only appears in feelings, but also is more common at work.
For example, a person is always bullied by his brother when he is young, and he never has the opportunity to turn over. Then when he grows up, he may continue to work, unconsciously looking for people who are very similar to his brother to cooperate with, and then in the process of work, he will feel over and over again that this colleague who is very similar to his brother seems to always pose a threat to him, may always steal his limelight, or the performance is always better than him. Then this person will secretly compete in his heart, and must surpass the colleague who is very similar to his brother.
So, when you keep finding that it seems like a certain kind of thing is always repeated in you, you have to pay attention to the fact that this may be an unsolved practice problem left to you by your childhood experience, and you have been trapped in this problem.
What if unfortunately you are a scumbag harvester physique?
The most important thing about compulsive repetition is that it always appears "unconsciously", so getting rid of the scumbag harvester physique is first and foremost about finding your love script.
You can try, from the perspective of a bystander, write down your every love experience as a serial, you can write according to this idea: what kind of you, and what kind of person, in what way to start a relationship, and finally how you feel. With this analysis, see what kind of script you've been writing for yourself in your subconscious.
For example, there is a girl, let's call her Tingting, she has talked about 3 boyfriends, all of which are delicious and lazy. What would we find if we wrote down her love experiences like a serial?
For example, when Tingting met her first boyfriend, she was very stressed at work and competed with another colleague in the department for a promotion opportunity. Then, one night, thinking she should go for a walk, she went to a friend's party. In the party, I noticed a boy at a glance, this boy is not proud, and he does not talk much, after understanding it, he found that this boy's work is also very ordinary, and the salary is not high.
Although Tingting's conditions in all aspects are stronger than this boy's, Tingting has a crush on him, and the two people are together. In the process of getting along, Tingting always despises this boy, thinking that he has no future in his work, no self-motivation, no taste in clothes, in short, all kinds of looking down, but he is not willing to break up.
Then this boy, on the contrary, began to have no fear, the work was even more unmotivated, nothing was playing games at home, and even began to eat and be lazy. Sometimes two people quarrel, and the boy will say to Tingting: "Don't you just see that I am incompetent?" ”
Well, this is Tingting's first love experience, if you use the same way to analyze Tingting's second and third love, you will find that she will always meet a person who is not as good as her in all conditions, even poor conditions, when she is under a lot of pressure, to start a relationship, because she feels that such a person is very safe and will not leave her.
You will find that such a script will greatly increase Tingting's chances of meeting a scumbag.
With such an analysis, you can see what kind of love script you have been repeating. And then the next time you're attracted to someone, think about it, is this a new beginning, or is it a repeat of the pattern you used to do?