Zhang Xiaoxian said: "Time, you can understand love, you can prove love, you can also overthrow love." ”
In adolescence, we love someone often desperately, testing whether a person really loves you, whether the feelings are reliable, and need to look at each other's choices in front of the problem.
When you are in the mire and a man can look at him coldly, there is no doubt that he loves himself more than you.
We envy the love of the wind and snow, and we are more eager for a marriage that takes care of each other, if you meet a man who only loves himself, your life will be full of wind and rain.
01. The daughter-in-law did not help the family to serve soup, is it uncultured?
Ms. Liu was a poor girl who, at the age of 17, both of her parents died in an accident.
Losing the protection of her parents, she entered the factory early to work, and wanted to live a good life by her own efforts.
She was hard-working and quickly attracted the attention of Mr. Zhou, both of them worked in a factory, in the face of Mr. Zhou's booing and warming, Ms. Liu felt very warm, unconsciously had the other party's position in her heart.
Mr. Zhou's family is in the countryside, there are 8 brothers and sisters in the family, and his parents are not able to build a house for him, but Ms. Liu believes that life can rely on himself, as long as the two love each other, life can always be better day by day.
When the two got married, there was no house, only to temporarily live in Mr. Zhou's big brother's home, people under the eaves, had to bow their heads, Mr. Zhou may not have any feelings, Ms. Liu felt despised, once she wanted to take an egg to eat, just the eldest brother saw it, directly said: "You can't eat this egg, it's for my son to eat." She could only smile and put it back.
When Ms. Liu was confinement, her mother-in-law let her live in the old house, the brothers and sisters came back, the mother-in-law gave everyone rice wine soup, she did not give her sister and brother-in-law soup, the mother-in-law's face was not good-looking, and the public said: "Children who are not taught by their fathers and mothers are not educated." ”
This sentence is really cruel! Directly stabbed Ms. Liu's weak ribs, her tears swirled in her eyes, turned back to the room, wanted to pour out her grievances to her husband, but her husband advised her: "You can't understand it, the old man will not turn when he speaks, there is no malice." ”
To tell the truth, change a woman, may directly lift the table, as an elder, respect for the family is the minimum etiquette, Ms. Liu marriage does not want a room and bride price, the picture is to have a home, you can give yourself warmth.
As a result, this family, but clearly bullying her, where to poke in pain, if her parents are still there, can she let her daughter marry such a family?
Ms. Liu is still confinement, and her loving mother-in-law is too late to be distressed, how can she be allowed to do things for her family? Therefore, the mother-in-law is not straight, but evil.
02. The wife is hospitalized for 4 days, and the husband does not go to visit, is it really busy?
After tasting the suffering of her in-laws, Ms. Liu still has hope for marriage.
She suggested going out to work with her husband so that she could escape the chores of her in-laws and earn money to buy herself a house.
The two work outside, Ms. Liu worked overtime not to shout tired, a salary to give money to her husband, it turned out that it was difficult for her to buy clothes for 100 yuan, and her husband always advised her to save, and there was hope for saving money to buy a house.
Working for several years, Ms. Liu did not know how much money was saved at home, her husband opened a shop, she did not know whether she could earn money, anyway, the family was managed by her husband, she just had to work hard.
Once, after Ms. Liu paid her salary, she spent 80 yuan to buy a bag for herself, took it home and wanted her husband to praise it, but her husband saw the bag and began to count: "You spend money indiscriminately, how much is this bag?" What's the use of buying a bag, so many handbags at home, can't hold anything? ”
Ms. Liu felt sad and felt that in her husband's eyes, she was a tool to earn money, and she had no feelings for her husband, only to ask.
A serious illness made Ms. Liu see her husband more clearly.
Ms. Liu found hyperthyroidism, hair fell out a lot, she took leave one day to lie in bed, felt uncomfortable, breathing felt difficult, her husband came back to see that he did not cook and lost his temper, ran to the bed and slapped her calf, dragged her leg up, asked her to cook for herself.
Even if he knows that his wife is sick, the husband's attitude is still indifferent, thinking that she should do her duty as a wife, not cooking for herself is not right, is not very familiar, and the mother-in-law asked her to serve soup in the month, which is a manifestation of lack of empathy.
The pain was unbearable, Ms. Liu needed to be hospitalized for a few days, she went to the hospital with her own clothes, 4 days later, her health improved slightly, and she was discharged home with a large bag and a small bag, during this period, her husband did not go to the hospital once, let alone call her to ask about her situation.
When Ms. Liu saw her husband watching TV in the store, she was sad from the heart, she was desperate for her marriage, if she couldn't get her husband's love when she needed it most, she didn't know what the meaning of marriage was.
03. People's hearts do not become cold every day, and when they see a person, don't easily turn back
Marriage is not a partnership to live a life, it needs to have love, a heartbeat, a righteous spirit of liver and gallbladder, and the feelings of Qinse and Ming.
If two people together, just chai rice oil and salt, even when the other party needs, are unwilling to lend a helping hand, not a big grin, but selfish.
Mr. Zhou may be spoiled by his parents, he never knows how to think differently, thinking that marrying his wife into the family, the other party has the obligation to pay for the family, but ignored, love and being loved are mutual, a person who can't feel love, how to give love?
Ms. Liu is loveless, she lost the protection of her parents, longed to have a stable home, and easily agreed to the marriage, young her, there is not much understanding of human nature, thinking that the other party has a commitment, will be good to herself wholeheartedly.
But people's hearts will change, before marriage, men's sea oaths are often cloudy, and steadfastness after marriage is the basis of happiness.
A person who truly loves you will not make you sad, and problems will definitely stand in your way.
For example, the in-laws' disrespect for Ms. Liu is also related to Mr. Zhou's attitude, they see Mr. Zhou's carelessness towards his wife, before they dare to say harsh words to Ms. Liu, on the contrary, if Mr. Zhou tells his family that he loves his wife deeply, everyone will also have more respect for Ms. Liu.
Look at whether a person loves you or not, just look at the performance of the other party in the predicament, during Ms. Liu's illness and hospitalization, Mr. Zhou is really too irresponsible, no matter how busy you are, take an hour to visit the hospital is always OK, his no matter whether he asks, shows the coolness of a husband.
People have to think deeply, if the wife is really seriously ill, can he come up with money to treat her? Are you willing to be by the other side and not give up?
If marriage can't do the same happiness and suffering, then don't mention what the sky is long, the leaves are not yellow every day, people's hearts are not getting cooler every day, a woman does not love you, because you are cold again and again, so that the other party is heartbroken.
At the mediation scene, Mr. Zhou has always wanted to save, saying that he loves his wife, and he still wants to live with his wife, which is really ridiculous, love is not said with his mouth, but expressed with actions, you don't even know what your wife cares about, how can you give your wife confidence?
The mediators on the side are advising Ms. Liu to be calm, give her husband another chance, don't forget the original intention of the feelings, recall the beauty of the two people in love, and give her husband a chance to grow up for the integrity of the family.
We have a tradition called "persuasion and non-persuasion", no matter what happens to the husband and wife, you put the two together to match the right, but I have to say that mediation depends on the details, if a woman does not feel the slightest love, you also advise her to be patient, this is not love, but ruthless.
I admire Ms. Liu's courage, after she saw through the truth of the marriage, she proposed a divorce, how much resistance she encountered can be imagined, because she lost the support of her mother's family, she had no way to retreat, and her in-laws wanted her to stay, but could not give her love, she could only insist on her own ideas in gossip.
Life is very long, it is not easy to insist on being yourself, Ms. Liu's pragmatism and hard work deserve to have a better life, low-quality marriage, not as good as high-quality singles, women learn to love themselves, more important than anything.
Give Ms. Liu a thumbs up! Do you think she should get a divorce?