1, riding a battery car to pick up my daughter from school, it rained on the way back, the rain was getting bigger and bigger, I was worried that my daughter was cold, I took off the coat on my daughter, and my whole body was soaked

1, riding a battery car to pick up my daughter from school, it rained on the way back, the rain was getting bigger and bigger, I was worried that my daughter was cold, I took off the coat on my daughter, and my whole body was soaked. When I got home, I saw that my daughter was basically not wet, and I suddenly felt that my mother's love was great, and I was touched by myself. I tearfully told my husband about this matter, and my husband looked at me like a fool and said: Is the raincoat in the trunk of the battery car used to block the sun?

2, last week and my wife went to my mother-in-law's house for dinner, found that my father-in-law quit smoking, after returning home, my wife ordered me to quit smoking immediately; last week I went to my mother-in-law's house as a guest, found that my father-in-law quit drinking again, returned home, my wife ordered me to quit drinking immediately. Yesterday, I went to my mother-in-law's house again and found that my father-in-law and my mother-in-law had separated. I hurriedly asked my daughter-in-law, "Wife, what do I do next?" ”

3, last week, the desktop computer host at home was broken, I took it to repair. The people in the repair shop said that the machine was too old to be repaired, and it was eliminated, so I sold it to the uncle who collected the waste. Today, after passing the waste recycling point, I saw that the uncle actually repaired my console and was watching the small movie I stored with a monitor.

4, commuting, eighty kilometers round trip every day, colleagues in order to save money to carpool, I have three female colleagues in the car, and there is an empty seat for my daughter-in-law to keep. However, my daughter-in-law does not follow me back to the city every day, and does not return for three days and two days. One day my daughter-in-law asked me to pick her up from work, I forgot about it, carried three female colleagues and left, and then my daughter-in-law asked me for half a life

5, online live broadcast met a rich second-generation girlfriend, she grew up in the villa area, never felt the rural life. I married in my rural hometown, and I drove a Porsche back to my hometown with my girlfriend, just so that she could feel the fresh air of the countryside. Take her to a place in the countryside and stop by to see the little creatures that are native to life. The girlfriend immediately covered her mouth and nose, as if she was not quite comfortable, and I asked: What's wrong? Are you not satisfied? She shook her head, and I asked: How does it feel to be in the countryside? She pinched her nose and said: Is there anywhere else you can feel the rural atmosphere besides the pigsty?

6, my table did not want to take chemistry class, secretly ran to the cao court to play basketball, only to be found by the chemistry teacher, did not leave, just blocked him at the door of the classroom. After class, the same table finally returned, and the chemistry teacher asked expressionlessly, "Where have you been?" The same table listened, pretended to be calm and said: "Go to the toilet." The chemistry teacher pointed to his sweaty head and asked, "So what's going on?" The same table held back for a long time, and finally spoke: "Teacher, I am constipated, this is suffocated." ”

7. I spent the effort of rectifying the meal to correct my son's behavior when he ate, and then turned back to his wife and said: Is this kind of education endless? The training of the boy was endless, she replied, until he got married, and then his wife continued the work. Oh, don't talk when you have something in your mouth

8, I just got my driver's license exam, once I drove out of the half-slope to start, A car behind me followed very tightly, I will slip ... Then I kept honking the horn and didn't go, and then the man knew what was going on, and quickly stepped back, haha! At that time, I was blushing and embarrassed to look at people, and now I was particularly curious about what kind of clever ghost he was, and as soon as I hit the horn, he knew that he was reversing.

9, I opened a small studio, now there are only 10 employees. After working overtime this evening, I invited them to dinner and took 500 yuan for my new colleagues to buy dinner. In 10 minutes, he brought back thirty large steamed buns, more than a dozen dried sauerkraut radishes, and a bottle of old pole mom, and also found me 450 pieces. I said this is dinner, he: We all eat steamed buns in Henan... Saying that the taste was not bad, I ate five steamed buns, and it was a bit of a stretch. I silently think that such employees must be well trained!

10, I have to call my husband five or six times every morning before he will open the window. I was furious, and this morning I cooked my meal early and ate lightly. Gently close the door and go to work. When I got home at noon, I saw my husband sitting there with an unhappy face. I asked provocatively: Are you leaving work early today? My husband said indignantly: I just got out of the window... I couldn't stop laughing...

11, I am usually a little lazy at home, today my wife wants to come back from a business trip, I went to buy a bunch of roses and a small gift to go home, and then do hygiene, make three dishes and a soup on the dinner table. When she returned in the evening, the first sentence said, "Did you do something to be sorry for me?" ”

12, when the nap was fragrant, suddenly received a Female Colleague 10,000 yuan of WeChat transfer, ding-dong, woke me up from sleep, confused I confirmed the payment. I was about to go back to sleep, when the female colleague's phone call came again, and after I connected it, I heard her say anxiously: "The money has been received, right?" I said yes and hung up the phone. Before the phone could be put down, she called again: "I'll send you a card number, and you transfer the money to my card!" "I still don't understand what this situation is...

13, a person went to the newly opened fish pond fishing, spent 200 yuan fishing all day, not a single fish caught. The boss said, "I didn't catch a fish, I'll send you a chicken." This man happily carried the chicken home, and sighed as he walked, this boss really has a conscience. Halfway through, I met a great uncle, saw this man carrying a chicken, smiled and said, "Another fool!" Puzzled, the man asked, "Why?" Uncle said: "There are no fish in this fish pond, the boss is a chicken!" ”

14. As a workshop director at Foxconn, this month's salary is 3,000 yuan more than usual. I thought it was a bonus from my boss, and I invited my colleagues to the hotel for dinner after work. When I returned home from a full meal, I received a call from the girl in the finance department. She said: I'm really sorry, your salary for this month is wrong, and the extra salary will be deducted from the next month.