Husband and wife married 6 years after separation, a point is 8 years, the wife with 2 daughters to the big city to work hard, even a full meal can not eat, and the husband in the hometown to buy a house and a car, regardless of wife and daughter, like living a single life.
Ms. Zhou and Mr. Lu have been married for a total of 14 years, of which 8 years have been separated, and the two are more than 1,000 kilometers apart. They are far apart, have little communication, and know each other by relying on intermediaries to speak. Ms. Zhou was in pain, and Mr. Lu didn't care at all.
At the beginning, Ms. Zhou originally planned to stay in her hometown with children when she got married, but Mr. Lu did not seek progress, ate and drank every day, and sat at home and ate the mountain sky.
A month later, Ms. Zhou was in a hurry and asked him to go to work at her place.
When he got there, Mr. Lu couldn't find a job or make money, and he wanted his wife to help him.
When Ms. Zhou gave birth to her eldest daughter, Mr. Lu promised to let his wife stay at home with the children and he would go out to earn money.
As a result, Mr. Lu quit his job and was at home every day, not only did not accompany his wife, but also did not even do housework. In order to take care of the children, Ms. Zhou could not even take care of the food.
After her maternity leave, she took her husband back to work.
In the first 6 years after marriage, the two have been running for their livelihood, and have traveled many times between Ms. Zhou's work and her hometown. Although Mr. Lu cannot give his wife a lot of dependence in terms of economy, she understands her husband's hardships, and the relationship between husband and wife is relatively harmonious.
After the birth of the youngest daughter, it caused a lot of pressure on the family, resulting in the separation of the two couples.
At that time, Ms. Zhou, as an elderly mother, had more long maternity leave. In this half year, Mr. Lu gave a total of 3,000 yuan in living expenses, but there were too many places for the family to spend, and they could not afford it.
Mr. Lu claims to be working outside, Ms. Zhou also believes, and is silently subsidizing the family, she has no complaints in her heart, and believes that her husband is working hard.
One year, Ms. Zhou participated in school activities, bought large clothes because of her fat body, and was accused by her husband of being extravagant and would not live a life.
In Mr. Lu's eyes, his wife is difficult to serve. Whether he goes out to work or is cared for at home, he is not recognized.
When Ms. Zhou worked hard to take care of the children, Mr. Lu did not give living expenses, and the money was spent on building a house at home. Ms. Zhou had to earn money herself to raise the children.
The eldest is facing about to go to school, the second is waiting to be fed, the economic pressure of life is very large, the burden is heavy, Ms. Zhou returned to the big city where she originally worked to work.
Mr. Lu, who had repeatedly encountered a wall there, stayed in his hometown, and the couple began to live separately.
The husband's hard work, Ms. Zhou can not see the value, finally a person with two daughters, outside the hard work, the pain and tiredness are carried down, the husband never asked his wife and children.
Once the eldest daughter was very ill, and Mr. Lu never asked.
Ms. Zhou is alone with 2 children and has to go to work. In daily life, she can take care of her children, she can't take care of herself, either the children are hungry, or she is hungry, and there is no one around her to rely on.
After taking care of the child, she still has to go to work at night. If the husband can take care of the children, she will not have to work so hard.
Later, Ms. Zhou applied not to work overtime, and took the child after work, but fortunately the children were better to take.
During the 8 years they separated, many major events occurred in Mr. Lu's hometown: he built a house in the second year of separation; in the third year, his father fell ill and died; less than 1 month, his mother was ill for 3 years; he himself was hospitalized for surgery.
These major events that happen at home are all up to Mr. Lu to bear.
It can be said that the couple is taking care of each other. Mr. Lu's income is in charge of his family, and Ms. Zhou's is in charge of herself and her 2 daughters.
In Ms. Zhou's eyes, her husband loves the car and the house more than the 3 mothers and daughters. While Mr. Lu did not give them living expenses, he also had to borrow money from others to buy a car.
After being rejected by his brother, he reached out and borrowed 50,000 yuan from his sister in installments. When he bought a car, he didn't pay a penny, and the consumption was completely beyond his ability.
He did not consult with his wife, and Ms. Zhou only learned about it through the mouths of others.
Mr. Lu explained that he did this to improve his relationship with his wife and surprise her, but she was full of complaints.
Ms. Zhou originally thought that her husband was working hard in her hometown, but when she returned home, she was hit by 10,000 points.
The in-laws had always hoped that Ms. Zhou would have a son, so everyone advised her to regenerate, but she couldn't do it. Mr. Lu not only did not maintain it, but also said that they were a kind of good intention. This made Ms. Zhou very depressed.
In such an environment, they naturally have a lot of quarrels.
Once, Ms. Zhou's mother-in-law asked Mr. Lu to run errands and asked him to deliver things, but he was reluctant.
Ms. Zhou said angry words to tell him not to go, take a taxi by himself, Mr. Lu still took it seriously, simply threw his wife to the side of the highway, drove away quickly, and sent the child to his mother's house. Ms. Zhou was angry and went home.
Today, Mr. Lu has made more money, but he has broken off contact with his wife, does not answer the phone, does not reply to text messages, and does not care about the affairs of the family. Ms. Zhou was very cold and did not want to live with him anymore.
1 The husband does not assume the responsibilities of the husband and the father
All along, Mr. Lu has not fulfilled his responsibilities as a husband and father. His cognition and abilities do not match the role he should have.
He did not share the hardships with his wife, did not raise his daughters together, did not deal with the family's major project expenses, and only cared about himself and his parents' family, just like living a bachelor's life.
2 Give everything for the family, but ignore the needs of the other party
Mr. Lu earns money to buy a house and a car, thinking that it is the best treatment for his wife and family, but she does not want these, but more wants simple companionship and understanding.
Running a solid marriage requires not only quality emotional communication, but also adequate time investment.
3 Marriage without feelings is doomed to be cold and empty.
Poor communication makes the two couples who live in two places no longer understand the other half and lose confidence in the marriage. They no longer have feelings, more of apathy, like strangers.
The essence of refusing to communicate is to push the other person out of their own inner world. Their wordless marriage, the result is not even as good as the partner's life, how can they go long?
#I'm going to make headlines##情感 #
