1, after the boyfriend became a husband, the title of me also changed: 1, I have big eyes, call me a big-eyed beauty before marriage; now call me a big-eyed thief. 2, I am relatively fat, before marriage called me a noble concubine charming

1, after the boyfriend became a husband, the title of me also changed: 1, I have big eyes, call me a big-eyed beauty before marriage; now call me a big-eyed thief. 2, I am relatively fat, before marriage called me a noble concubine-like charming figure; now call me fat wife. 3, I am more delicious and lazy to do, before marriage said that I am as blessed as the mother-in-law, and now I say that I have married an ancestor for eight lifetimes

2, my family is a large enterprise consortium, my father in order to cooperate with another group, wanted me to marry the chairman's girlfriend. As a result, I was particularly disappointed at the first sight after meeting, looking in my forties, and my figure was not good and not beautiful. So I deliberately said: Don't listen to them say that I am a very honest person, I fight, smoke and drink badly, don't tell my father. Seeing her indifferent, I was secretly happy in my heart. Then a beautiful woman came over and said: Mom, is this the boyfriend you introduced to me?

3, in the college girlfriend phone called me to cry: I hid the rice cooker in the dormitory for half a year, today took out to boil tea eggs, the housekeeper aunt smelled the smell, confiscated the pot, said wait for the end of this semester, only to return me. I comforted her: Don't be sad, the pot is gone, I'll buy you another one! She said: I am worried that the pot of tea eggs has been stolen and eaten, even if it is not eaten, when I return it, the tea eggs will not be eaten.

4, "Husband, what time to leave work, people want to kill you!" "Say the right thing!" "People looked at a bag on Taobao, this year's new model, especially beautiful or limited..." "It's just a bit expensive, to 1800" "That's not the point!" "Send me the bank verification code you just received on your phone" "..."

5, "Husband, my stomach hurts." "Well, the hospital has arrived." "Husband~" "I'm here." "Do you say this fetus is a boy or a girl?" "Both men and women are good, and I like you who gave birth to me." "Well, that's good." When he finished, he closed his eyes contentedly. At this time, only the nurse was heard roaring: "You two big men have no end, he is an acute appendicitis surgery, not a caesarean section." ”

6. Last night, I saw two girls standing in front of a massage shop on the side of the road with a classmate. We looked at it one more time, and then the girl greeted us and said, "Handsome man, do you want to cool down?" Then the second force said, "No, I don't have to come by myself." "Come by yourself...

7, high school and the team brothers often run to a restaurant at the entrance of the school to eat after playing, that restaurant to add food without money, you can also add marinade to the meal for free. At that time, a group of us always ordered a stir-fry, and then ate pure rice with marinade, everyone was hungry wolf in those days, and the restaurant cooked a big pot of rice and we instantly eliminated it!! The boss is an honest uncle, seeing that we are young and strong, we have not dared to say a word, and then once finally could not help but call the police.

8, the brother just paid the salary to a female anchor in the live broadcast brushed, sister-in-law knows and brother after a big fight, angry out of the door to go shopping. It seems that tonight, I have to be responsible for stir-frying cooking, and today I will make plum button meat and spicy chicken. The nephew called his sister-in-law in front of his brother: Mom, when are you coming back for dinner, Daddy misses you so much, he is making you the spicy chicken you like in the kitchen, I secretly tell you, I'm good! Then the nephew talked there for a while before hanging up the phone. My eldest brother and I were all stunned, and my nephew reminded my eldest brother: Daddy, don't you hurry to the kitchen to install it, and you will reveal the stuffing in a moment!

#Funny##Funny paragraph# #搞笑幽默趣闻 #