May the mothers of the world be healthy, safe and joyful
"You don't deserve to be my mother, I don't have a mother like you~" I yelled at my mother with all my might, but the tears couldn't stop flowing.
"I don't have a daughter like you, so don't call me mom in the future." The dishes in my mother's hands kept buzzing and dancing.
"If you don't call, don't call, in this life I have called you and I am not a person ~" I have been angry to the point of viciousness, and I have secretly decided that I will not call her again in this life.
My mother's mood was no better than mine.
I am now 23 years old, and I am a young person in a society who independently experiences the preciousness of chai rice oil and salt outside the home. I was 13 years old at the time, and as you might think, my "whole life" died quickly, or I wasn't human.
That year's Spring Festival was particularly difficult, but the cause was because of a sentence. Chinese New Year's Eve our family got up early to work, dad burned the fire, mom cut vegetables, and I was busy dividing couplets. Before breakfast, I had already pasted the Spring Festival of the Eight Doors, but my brother was still covering his head and sleeping. The three of them took turns to shout and failed to provoke my brother, and after pulling two mouthfuls of food, I went to wash the dishes. My family and my grandmother's house are in a village, my grandmother is old, my uncle works outside the home, and there is no woman in charge of the spoon in the family, so I also take care of my grandmother's dishes. A small man carried a large basket, carried a basket on his back, and squatted by the river for half a day. When I got home, my burden was finally unloaded, and my clothes were mostly wet, although the weather was fine today, after all, it was winter, and my hands were frozen red.
When I got home, I didn't bother to change my clothes, because there was still some chores to do, it was really not worth changing into a clean set, so I waited to wear new clothes after eating Chinese New Year's Eve meal! As soon as I think of this, my heart is beautiful, and the energy of work is even greater. Inside and out, I cleaned up to make sure there was no place to hide dirt and dirt, and then spread the pine wool in front of the cabinet. Next, just wait for the dishes to be ready, and after a ceremonial offering, you can eat.
At this time, my brother had just returned from another place, and watched him compare his labor today, and his heart was somewhat magical, and his qi was also enough. But my stomach was very cramped. I went to the kitchen to help my mother do the chores, and then the two of them stopped, just watching the firewood and the fire, smelling the smell of meat, I couldn't help but say that I was hungry. My mother was inexplicably on fire, and the split head covering her face was a scolding, and I was even more confused than the second monk. The clothes had not yet dried, the heart was even more damp than the clothes, and the tears fell at once. Unsurprisingly, this tear was simply the east wind of my mother's emotions, and I was burned by the raging fire, and my heart hurt even more. Only after I was relieved did I defend myself: "I just said I was hungry, I didn't say I wanted to eat, you yourself thought I wanted you to scold me, I did something wrong."
The mother couldn't listen to the half sentence at all: "Where have I seen you so extravagant, no one has eaten and not worshipped you, you roared, usually short you eat?"
"I said I wasn't going to eat, I was hungry, I didn't eat much in the morning, and when I ran around all day, I said what was wrong with my hunger?" The more you talk about it, the more angry you are, the more aggrieved you are.
Just at this time, my brother came with a cookie in his mouth, and my psychology was even more unbalanced, saying that the mother preferred sons to daughters, and her son couldn't wake up until he slept until he called for dinner, and he didn't do anything every day to play everywhere... As soon as I indicted my brother's daily laziness, my mother and I escalated the situation again.
I walked out of the kitchen angrily, sat alone in the living room, and when my father came, I ignored no one, trying to control not to let the tears fall, today is a good day, taboo these, crying. I forcibly held back the tears. There was another quarrel in the kitchen, and my mother rushed in with the dishes to be cooked, pointing at me and scolding me again, so the plot of the first act appeared. After that, my mother and I ignored anyone, I didn't even eat with them, I ate casually in the living room myself, and then went back to the room.
Since then, I haven't called her mom for more than a year. Usually, what tuition and miscellaneous fees to pay, directly say how much money to pay this week, my mother gave me money to go to school, usually there is little communication. My conflict with my mother had existed before, and I had always felt like I had picked it up, because she was always better to other people's children than to me. Of course, these are already those childhood thoughts.
In my dream last night, I dreamed of the past, and when I woke up, my heart was dull, lost and depressed. I haven't called my mother for a long time, I picked up my phone and called, and I didn't know what to say. honk...... honk...... After a few sounds, I heard my mother's weak voice, thinking that I had woken up. Stiff and greeting a few words, she reminded me that the weather is cold, to wear more clothes, to eat well outside, not to save, to adjust the body, you are too thin, the physique is not good, to take good care of your body. When you don't have enough money, tell your family, when will you come back? ...... As soon as my heart was hot, tears flowed out very indisputably. Simply greeting the physical condition of the elderly at home, she hung up after reporting that she was safe.
In the afternoon, I learned from my aunt that my mother was going to have surgery, saying that her arm connecting her back had been in pain for more than half a month, and that she would have to operate as soon as she went to the hospital for examination. Although it is said that it is a benign tumor, it is good to have an operation, but my heart is still hanging when I hear this. When I first failed to start a business, my mother called me to go to graduate school or editing for the exam, and then let me go home, and I was simply tired of that feeling. Reminding me over and over again of my failures and failures, of course she thought about me, but I felt that those were all avoidances, and more importantly, I didn't want to use their money, I wanted to jump out of their financial independence. For a while, I didn't know what to say, so I directly asked her to adopt another one, anyway, my mother had almost adopted a sister before.
That call made my mother choke carefully, the phone call did not know what to say, at ten o'clock in the evening asked me if I had eaten, I said if she could not find the words... We always get along so bluntly with each other, thousands of miles apart.
Now my mother is sick and I don't know, and I have long understood and understood the heartache of being a parent, but the character is so sharp, when I am stubborn, I can't always give any good words. Today my mother is going to have surgery, pray that she will be less tortured, and then I have made a wish over and over again at Xiaozhao Temple: I wish my parents and family good health, peace and smoothness.
