When I was a child, there were family daughters-in-law and father-in-law fighting in the village, chasing after them on the street with kitchen knives, at that time there was not much entertainment in the countryside, and I looked happy on the sister paper, and in the evening, my mother called me home, me

When I was a child, there were family daughters-in-law and father-in-law fighting in the village, chasing after them on the street with kitchen knives, at that time there was not much entertainment in the countryside, I saw happy sister paper, and in the evening, my mother called me home, and I was a little worried, so I ran to their door and asked: Will your family fight tomorrow? I'll see if I can talk about it! Now I don't dare to pass in front of people's doors...

2, a mahjong addict passed away, mahjong friends clinging to the farewell, mourning him and saying: "My dear ma friend, yesterday your eyes were like two tubes, now your eyes are closed like two, I have no paper money for you to burn, can only burn you seventy-eighty thousand, friends' faces are all the same, tomorrow you will be... Hurrah! ”

3, one day, the mother killed a rat in the house, she did not want the neighbors to know, so she told her son not to tell others, because the rats are dirty. But his son said to his classmates, "My family has a secret, it's very dirty, I can't tell you." ”

4. At the Time of the New Year, the classmates gathered. One classmate toasted, and several of the classmates at the same dinner table said they would not drink while driving. Another classmate muttered, "Everyone is drying the car, as if I didn't." After a while, a classmate came to his table to toast, and the few who drove said that they could not drink while driving, and when they arrived at a certain classmate, he said, "I'm sorry, I have two suites, and I can't drink." ”

5, I really regret going to a closed school for 8 years, although it allowed me to achieve academic results, but it also hindered my spiritual growth. I don't know how to deal with strangers, I don't have my own hobbies, I don't know what is good, I don't know how to go in my life? I don't have dreams, I think dreams are really a very important thing, but unfortunately, there are a lot of children's dreams.

6, when I was at work, a good buddy said to me: Sister, help brother a favor, okay? I readily agreed. Dude said: I like you. I immediately interrupted him: No talk! I am a family person and I am very happy! Dude was annoyed, and the voice was loud enough to shock the ears: What do you want? I mean I like your girlfriend, let me help me match it!

7, I shared a room with my friend, he had something to go back to his hometown, before leaving, please ask me to take care of his girlfriend, but one night, his girlfriend wore thin pajamas knocked on my door, saying that there were rats in her house, she was afraid, can you sleep in my room for a night? I looked into her longing eyes and agreed to her.

8, the blink of an eye 2020 has become the past, we began a new journey of 2021, looking back on 2020, I developed from penniless at the beginning of the year to nothing later, and then from nothing to the current debt, I am me, different fireworks. I am who I am, and I see myself on fire.

9, there is a big beautiful girlfriend is really good, yesterday with her to eat in the restaurant, those male waiters are diligent no! After eating in the restaurant, a waiter came over and asked what service we needed? Is there anything I can do to help you? Girlfriend said: Can you help us pay? Then the waiter really paid for us!

10, the son of a rich man has loved to learn since he was a child, or a hundred thousand whys, everything must be understood. After returning home today, he asked the rich man: Dad, what is thermal expansion and contraction? Regal: It is that the object has an attribute, the volume will become larger when it is hot, and it will shrink when it is cold! Son: Does that person have one? The rich man nodded, son: Mom is so fat, why don't you put Mom in the refrigerator and freeze a little thinner?

1 wife is a supervisor in a listed company and has a good relationship with female managers. My wife called me last night, and the female manager was going to come to the house after work. I immediately went to the RT-Mart supermarket to buy something, and a man who was about my age suddenly pulled me in. The man asked: Do you remember me? Me: Not impressed. Man: We are junior high school classmates, the one who won the first prize of the city essay in the seventh grade. Me: I'm not impressed. Man: Eighth grade won the first prize in provincial English! Me: I'm not impressed. Man: The one in the ninth grade who lifted the teacher's skirt. Me: I remembered, I didn't expect it to be you!

12, I was admitted to 985 University, and as a result, I fell in love with the game under the influence of my roommate and skipped class all day. After the evening self-study, we plan to go to the Internet café to play games collectively. One of my roommates couldn't go, so we left a cell phone locked in the cupboard. The ringtone of the mobile phone was set to be a very empty ghost sound, and when we were idle and bored in the middle of the night, we called the mobile phone number that was left behind.

13, a company recruits female secretaries, the last written test, the amount of questions is very large, requiring 1 minute to submit the paper, it is impossible to complete it within a limited time. But in fact, the company has another arrangement, at the bottom of the exam paper there is a row of small words that read: "You only need to do the first and third questions." "After handing in the papers, the examiner eliminated all the people who only did the first and third questions, who can tell me the answer, why is this .........

14, with my girlfriend for almost half a year, I asked her: "How do you feel about me?" Girlfriend: "No feelings!" So I hurriedly invited her out for a candlelit dinner, and after eating it, I asked, "Now I feel it!" Girlfriend: "Well, it feels quite full!" ”