1, son: Mom, give me some money, my girlfriend is pregnant. Mom: Okay! Wait for my news tomorrow. The next day son: Mom, why hasn't the money arrived yet? Mother: Son, marriage room,

1, son: Mom, give me some money, my girlfriend is pregnant. Mom: Okay! Wait for my news tomorrow. The next day son: Mom, why hasn't the money arrived yet? Mother: Son, the wedding house, the wedding car, has bought the full money! Spot! Bring me back and get married! Your looks are good if someone wants to! Hurry up and get me back to get married!

2, not long ago the boss is always sneaky, the boss lady suspected that he hid the private money, taking advantage of his absence from home to rummage through the boxes and cabinets to find a pass, the result of the boss lady found her son's New Year red envelope, quietly opened a look at the stunned, a full 60,000 yuan! She quickly ran over to her son and asked: Where did you get so much money, didn't you receive 2,000 red envelopes in the New Year? Where did the rest of the money come from? My son took back the red envelope and said: The rest is my girlfriend's pressed old money, she handed it to me to save, and when we grow up, we will buy a house!

3, once after drinking wine home, through a garbage dump, heard the child's crying, smelled to find the source, do not know who abandoned the baby, my wife and I have no children, we will go home as my own son to raise. Now that my son is in kindergarten and knows how to play games all day, I asked him: Son, this week gave you 100 yuan of pocket money, have you spent it all? The son played a game and said impatiently: Dad, I don't have time to answer now, and I will answer you when I am free. I'm on fire: You're either playing games or watching TV, when will you be free? The son said: Dad, you can wait until the evening, when I am free when I am asleep.

4. Because his academic experience is not very high, he can only be a kindergarten teacher in the town. It was sunburn and I walked into the classroom wearing a sunhat. A student said to me, "Teacher, your hat is so ugly, hurry up and take it off!" I teased him and said, "Then you study hard and buy a beautiful one for the teacher later?" The student looked at me solemnly and said, "When I make money, take you to a facelift..."

5. I called a ride-hailing car and walked halfway to the ride-hailing driver to let me get out of the car. He also handed me 10 dollars and said, "Beauty, you can find another car." I said, "Why?" You don't do business anymore? The driver pointed to a woman in front of her and whispered, "That person is my girlfriend, you are better than her, your face is prettier than her, let her see me carrying a beautiful woman in front of her, I am afraid that she will misunderstand, you will find another car!" ”

6, I went to the real estate agency to find a house, met my ex-girlfriend, she came to rent a house, I pulled her aside, quietly said to her: I want to rent, and you just have a house to rent, I rent your house, but also save the agency fee. How much does your house rent a month? Ex-girlfriend: one bedroom and one living room, monthly rent of 1200 yuan. Me: I rented! Look at our feelings of the year, the price is not possible... The ex-girlfriend immediately said: Yes! Xiaoming, when I left you, now you mix so well, so the rent rises by 800 per month, so that you can show your identity!?

7, in the early morning, the mother-in-law sent a text message 1234569, I thought deeply, immediately... Replied: Mom! Why, in the middle of the night, I sent this, turned around and went to sleep. The next day she blocked me out and I still don't understand what's going on...?

8, my brother has graduated from college for five years, and he has no girlfriend until now, and his family has found a big one!! The master showed him. big!! The teacher said: "In fact, things are very simple, the most important thing to chase a girl is to learn to praise, for example, her eyes flew into a mosquito, you want to say that her eyes are big." The younger brother nodded, and the next day he went out to climb the mountain with his goddess. When she first arrived at the mountain, a mosquito flew into the mouth of the goddess, and the younger brother said, "Your mouth is so big!" ”

9, I was in our university, the college entrance examination score is the most, after the school began to smoke and drink on the Internet. By the end of the month, everyone was out of money, and a roommate saved money for dinner and went to the Internet café with me all night. In the middle of the night, I was so hungry that I bought a bucket of instant noodles to eat, when I suddenly saw my roommate staring at me deadly. He said quietly: Give me a mouthful of soup." I reluctantly said to him: Be careful, don't pick up the noodles.

10, birthday boyfriend gave me a particularly beautiful necklace, today accidentally broke, take it to the small shop to repair. The landlady wiped my necklace and said, "There is no need to repair the decorations for more than a dozen dollars." "I threw the trash can in a huff and got into a big fight with my boyfriend. Later, my boyfriend took the necklace invoice and dragged me to the trash can to find the necklace, and saw that the female boss was wearing my necklace around her neck!

11. I took the goddess to the Western restaurant and took the opportunity to confess to her. Goddess: Poor ghost, what am I going to do with you? At this time, a man at the next table gave me a break: the old man asked you to go back after eating and determine which phantom to buy. I said gratefully: Got it. The goddess said excitedly: Let's get married. When paying the bill, the waiter said: A total of 30,000 yuan. I said: This table is at most 2,000 yuan. The waiter explained: You spent 2,000 yuan, but your driver spent 28,000 yuan.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #